Fathers and Sons: Jasper
by Phoenixhp5t3
Summary: Jasper has never felt more content than he does with the Cullens; however he feels it's too good to be true. Despair and anger take over and he eventually takes out his frustrations on his family, infuriating his coven leader, or is it his father? WARNING: Contains disciplinary spanking, so if you don't like, don't read!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Twilight, enough said.

**WARNING: **This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_ of a teenage vampire. If you _**DO NOT LIKE**_ this material, then _**DO NOT READ**__!_

_Thoughts spoken to or heard by Edward will be italicized_

**A/N:** So, yeah this story should have been finished _ages _ago, so I apologize! I'd like to say I have a good excuse, but I don't. I know I always say this with every new story, but this one was really hard for me to write. I had about half of it written by the time I finished posting Emmett's story, but then I got stuck. As with all my stories, I want you to know that I worked really hard on this so I hope you enjoy it as much as you have my previous ones.

**Prologue:**

Damn it, I thought with a grimace. Those two idiots were right, they were actually right! Man, they were neva goin' to let me forget this. I would never live this down. I can't say I didn't bring this on myself though. I was the idiot who ignored everythin' around him and then lost his mind. I groaned as I imagined the looks my brothers, yes _brothers_ would give me upon returning. They would be unbearable! How could I have been so wrong?!

**Chapter 1: Quiet Musings**

**Jasper's POV:**

I lay on my back, enjoying the scents and sounds of the forest around me. I could hear the flapping of wings and the hooves of deer hitting the dirt. I could hear the wind rustling the autumn leaves and the water crashing into rocks at the base of a waterfall. As I inhaled deeply I could smell dirt, flowers, water, and various animals. I gave a content sigh.

I loved moments like these. In the Cullen household it was always very difficult to have quiet moments like this with Emmett's laughter, Edward's music, and my Alice and Rosalie's constant chatter.

I enjoyed moments like these because I didn't have to be on guard. I didn't have to watch the every move of those around me. I didn't have to fight off the barrage of emotions hitting me while trying to find out if I was feeling my own or someone else's. I didn't have to watch my every thought or decision.

I heard in the distant the laughter of my broth—no, the laughter of Emmett and Edward as they bantered over who was the best hunter. I listened for my sweet Alice, but she must have been too far away for me to hear.

Alice, I thought with a bright smile, warmth spreading through me. She was the light of my life, my godsend, my savior. I recalled clearly the day she came into my life, the day I really began to live. God, what did I ever do to deserve her? Surely there was someone better suited than me out there for her? This thought caused me a stab of agonizing pain, but I forcefully pushed it away. What did she see in me? I knew from her emotions that she loved me and that I made her happy, but I couldn't understand how.

She would get over me. She would move on.

I shook my head, quickly ridding myself of these thoughts. I hadn't made a decision. I couldn't make a decision. It would have to be spur of the moment.

I rubbed a scarred hand over my face and began to think on the members of the Cullen coven, or should I say family. They were the oddest bunch of vampires I had ever met. I remembered when Alice had first told me about them, and about how they would be our new family.

Family, what a foreign concept; and if that were not weird enough, she had then told me that they only hunted animals! I had thought for sure that my little pixie was pullin' my leg at that point, but she was adamant that she was telling me the truth. I had my doubts, but I followed her anyways, and lo and behold, she was absolutely right.

I chuckled softly as my memories turned towards the day we finally met these Cullens. Due to Alice's visions, she already felt as if she was a part of this family, and she'd told me so many things about them that I felt I already knew them. Not that I'd ever lowered my guard though. The second we entered their territory I was on high alert. My Alice may have trusted these vampires before even meeting them, but I was taking no chances. I was prepared to fight or flee at the slightest hint that they meant Alice any harm.

_**Flashback:**_

_ "Relax Jazzy," Alice whispered as she held my hand, "everything is going to work out, you'll see. It's going to be perfect!" She was positively vibrating with excitement, and I quickly let go for a moment as her emotions threatened to take me over. It would not do for me to be bouncing in excitement with a goofy grin when I met these vampires._

_ "Sorry," Alice quickly apologized before giving me a peck on the cheek._

_ "It's fine Alice," I murmured before putting my hands on her shoulders to hold her in place. She looked up at me with bright eyes and I couldn't help but smile at her. She was so beautiful._

_ "Alice, listen to me," I finally spoke. "I know you think these vamps won't hurt us, but I just want you to be prepared—"_

_ "They're going to love us, I know it," she interrupted me, and I stared at her. She said it with such certainty. Her visions had never been wrong before, but I was not happy about risking her well-being on them. What if she was wrong? _

_ "Let's just be careful," I finally advised, and she nodded her head before pulling my hand._

_ "We're almost there!" she shrieked, and I stifled an exasperated groan. I used my gift to try and calm her, and sighed in relief when she visibly pulled herself together._

_ Finally, we came to an opening in the woods and found ourselves standing in front of a beautiful, large, two-story house. Here goes nothing, I thought nervously as we walked toward the house. I tensed when three vampires walked out of the house, and I wrapped a protective arm around my mate._

_ A blonde male was in the lead, followed by a woman with caramel colored hair and a younger blonde woman. Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie I quickly accessed. I tensed even more, furtively glancing around me. Where are the other two males?_

_ I quickly zeroed back in on the three vampires in front of me when they stopped a few feet away from us. I assessed their feelings. The leader, Carlisle exuded calm, confidence, and curiosity. When his eyes landed on me a bit of uneasiness flowed through him, but he quickly squashed it. He held his hand out slightly, stopping the two females in place._

_ I next turned my eyes on Esme. She stood a couple feet behind her mate and she felt nervous, but also curious. When she glanced at me a thrill of fear coursed through her, but like her mate she too quickly squashed the emotion._

_ Finally, I looked at the younger female, Rosalie. Her expression was wary. I could feel a bit of fear with a lot of hostility. I frowned softly. She was not happy to see us. _

_ Beside me, Alice was once more vibrating with excitement. I tightened my hold on her as I let out feelings of calm. _

_ My eyes flicked back towards Carlisle when he took a step forward and spread his arms in a welcoming gesture. "Welcome," he said. "My name is Carlisle Cullen, this is my wife Esme, and my daughter Rosalie," he informed us. "May I ask your names?"_

_ Daughter? Huh. "My name is Jasper Whitlock, sir," I replied, "and this is my mate"—I began to say before Alice abruptly broke away from me and ran towards Carlisle. I immediately crouched and prepared for an attack, but to his credit Carlisle neither backed away nor attacked as my little pixie wrapped her arms around him._

_ "Hi Carlisle, my name is Alice and I'm your new daughter! I'm so excited! Can I call you Dad? Can I go pick my room now?" she yelled as she looked up at him with an ecstatic grin. I mentally face-palmed. So much for being careful, I thought drily._

_ I felt as the emotions around me turned into bewilderment and confusion. I knew Carlisle was totally confused, but his face did not show it. He just gave Alice a kind smile and returned the hug. When she broke away he then said, "Hello Alice, it is a pleasure to meet you."_

_ I quickly went over and pulled her away a little. "My apologies sir, she's a little exuberant," I told him before turning to Alice. "Perhaps you should explain darlin' because everybody here's a bit confused."_

_ She laughed lightly before nodding her head. She then explained about how she woke up to this life with no memory, and about her gift. She explained about how she'd seen visions of us being a part of this family, and about how she and I had started hunting animals. Their gazes had flicked to our eyes at this point as if to confirm our story._

_ I once more had my arm wrapped around Alice's waist as I avidly monitored the emotions. There was shock, sadness, amazement, distrust, elation, excitement, curiosity, and finally, acceptance. I relaxed ever so slightly as the emotions from Carlisle and Esme were positive. It was only Rosalie that had any negative feelings, but I wasn't very concerned as I knew she could not attack us without her coven leader's permission, and he didn't look ready to attack. _

_ "And that's it!" Alice chimed once she finished. By this point Esme was standing next to her mate, and even Rosalie had taken a few steps closer._

_ "Amazing," Carlisle said with an awed look, "you have a remarkable gift Alice." Alice beamed in response and I couldn't help but allow a brief smile to grace my features as her happiness coursed through me. I gazed down at her fondly and she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek._

_ My face quickly became expressionless though when Carlisle addressed me. "And what about you Jasper? Where do you come from? Do you have a gift?" he asked, and though I felt only genuine curiosity from him I could not help but tense in preparation for a fight._

_ He must be very good at reading people, or perhaps I had let a bit of my unease escape for he quickly gave me a reassuring smile and said, "It is alright, you do not have to tell me." I relaxed a little as Alice gave me an understanding smile. I allowed her love to surround me before watching as Carlisle turned towards his mate. She had not spoken, but her expression and emotions revealed how ecstatic she was by our arrival, and as hard as it was for me to believe, I could tell she already felt love towards Alice. _

_ I watched as she gave her mate a loving smile before nodding. At this Rosalie hissed, and I felt her irritation. I immediately tensed as I placed myself in front of Alice. _

_ Carlisle noted my reaction and he held up his hands in a placating gesture. "We mean you and Alice no harm, Jasper."_

_ I studied his un-threatening posture and took in his calm demeanor before coming out of my crouch. Alice had remained quiet throughout this, but I could feel a hint of distress from her._

_ "You two are more than welcome to stay here," Esme spoke for the first time causing my wife to scream in delight before throwing her arms around Esme._

_ "What?!" Rosalie screeched with an angry look. "How can you invite them into our home? We don't even know them! I mean, look at him"—she raged before being cut off by Carlisle._

_ "Rosalie Cullen!" he hissed with an irritated look. "You are being extremely rud, and you will apologize this instant," he ordered her sternly._

_ Rosalie glared at him before turning her glare towards me. I stared at her with an indifferent expression even though I was shocked by her blatant disrespect to her coven leader. I became completely dumbfounded when she disregarded his order and marched into the house. I immediately looked at Carlisle to see what he would do, but he did nothing more than purse his lips and turn to me with an apologetic expression. His feelings showed that he was irritated and embarrassed, but nothing more. What kind of coven leader was he? If I had treated Maria like that… I shuddered at the thought._

_ "I apologize. Rosalie can be a bit headstrong, but I am sure she will come around," Carlisle said to us. I just stared at him as my wife nodded her head in understanding._

_ "It's alright Dad!" she chimed, and Carlisle widened his eyes in surprise at the title before giving her a smile. "Rose and I are going to be great sisters, you'll see! We're going to have loads of fun together, I can't wait!" she squealed, and I gave a small laugh as I siphoned off some of her excitement to Carlisle and Esme. Esme immediately gave an excited squeal of her own as she wrapped her arms around Alice and Carlisle laughed._

_ "Let's go Jazzy, I want to pick out my room," she then said, grabbing me by the hand and dragging me inside, much to the amusement of Carlisle and Esme._

_**End Flashback:**_

Alice had immediately chosen a room that was already occupied, much to my dismay, but she insisted that Edward would not be upset. I doubted that, but I could not bring myself to argue with her when she looked so happy. She had been right, of course, and after the initial shock and confusion Edward had given in with an amused look and a shrug of his shoulders.

Our first year had been a trial, well, at least for me. Everyone had been immediately accepting of Alice, and she fit in so well it was almost as though she had been a part of the family for years. They all loved her, and for that I was grateful.

Things had not gone so smoothly for me. My first few months were stressful and tense as I was always on alert and defensive. I over thought every movement, every word the Cullens had said as I searched for any sign, any hint of deceit or antagonism.

Surprising as it may sound, it was Rosalie who I warmed up to first. She was the only vampire of the bunch who reacted as I expected her to, with fear and distrust. I never ceased to be surprised by how trusting the others were of me.

Rosalie had made no secret of her dislike of me, but she never said anything in front of Carlisle, Esme, or Alice. One day though, it was just the two of us at home alone, and she finally let loose exactly what she thought of me. I wasn't sure why I cared, but her distrust got to me, and so I defended myself. She listened, and just when I thought she was going to argue with me, she gave a stiff nod. We sat in uncomfortable silence, and before we knew it we started having a civil conversation. She told me a little bit about herself and I told her a little bit about myself. We started having more conversations, always in private, and she became the first person I told of my life with Maria. I didn't go into details, but I was pleasantly surprised by how upset she became on my behalf. She eventually told me of her ex-fiancé and what he had done to her, and I was startled to find how angry I became and of how protective I suddenly felt for this girl.

I wasn't sure when I finally warmed up to the others, but one day I suddenly realized that I had become attached to every member. Emmett, with his easy going attitude and fun-loving nature became like a brother. He taught me how to have fun and enjoy myself. He taught me that fighting could be done in play, and that it didn't have to involve any pain. I remembered the first time I watched Emmett and Edward roughhouse with each other, and the amazement I felt. I was first surprised to find they had some skill with fighting. With the peaceful life they led I expected them to be completely untrained. I wondered who had taught them. Aside from that, I had also been amazed by the hoots of laughter and banter they exchanged while fighting. I remembered fighting for 'fun' in Maria's army, and while we never fought to kill, we certainly fought to injure and harm and there was certainly never any playful teasing or laughter.

It was during these playful wrestles that I also became friends with Edward. While I had more skill than him, his mind-reading ability gave him an advantage. I still won in the end, but it had been an interesting fight, and before I knew it I found myself laughing and teasing him. He quickly retaliated after a look of shock and things went smoothly from there. He taught me to play the piano, and I taught him to play guitar. Soon, the three of us, Emmett, Edward, and I became like brothers. We hunted and played together, and we teased each other mercilessly. We were constantly in competition, always trying to outdo the other.

Esme, bless her, was so patient and loving with me. It had been a long time since I had felt the love of a mother, but she was quick to fill the void I had not even realized I had. I knew from her emotions that she adored me, but even knowing that, it had taken a long time before I could accept a hug. I smiled as I recalled the first time I instigated a hug with her. The discomfort had been totally worth it for her happiness had been like no other. She was so easy to talk to, and I found myself opening up to her slightly without even realizing. She always knew the right things to say, and how to make me feel better.

Carlisle, well, he had been the most difficult for me to grow close to. He was unlike any coven leader I had ever met. I suppose that was because he was more than a coven leader, he was a father. This was not only a coven, but a family. It had taken a long time for me to realize this, but realize I had. My initial assessment of Carlisle had been that he was a weak leader because he acted nothing like Maria or any of the other southern leaders I had met before. That notion had quickly been changed though. Maria had ruled by fear and brute force, while Carlisle ruled with respect and love. Well, ruled isn't the right word. Carlisle led his family. He was very easy-going and beyond patient. He didn't act like he was superior or better than any member of his family. He treated everyone with respect. I could see and feel through his emotions the devotion and love he felt towards his family, and how he genuinely enjoyed spending time with every one of them. Hell, he even wrestled with Emmett and Edward!

I chuckled as I remembered the utter shock I had felt when I had first seen Emmett tackle Carlisle. As easy going as Carlisle was, I felt sure that Emmett had just pushed the limit, but I had been completely wrong. Carlisle had muttered a small curse, mildly chiding Emmett for attacking him when he was wearing his work clothes; and then, before I knew it he had tackled Emmett and buried his head in the mud. Edward had then given a whoop of delight before jumping into the fray. I couldn't bring myself to join in, but I clearly remembered the joy that radiated off of Carlisle. As I watched the fight that was when I realized that it had been Carlisle that had taught Emmett and Edward how to fight. He was very skilled and I wondered if we ever got into a fight if I would be able to beat him.

Time went on and without my realizing I found myself becoming closer to Carlisle as well. He was so good at reading me I sometimes thought it was him that had the mind-reading ability. He, like Esme was very easy to talk to and so I found myself sharing a bit about my past with him too. He was very understanding, and he had years of experience and wisdom that he loved to share with me. I couldn't help respecting him.

It was about eight months after I arrived that I first got a glimpse of how Carlisle kept control of his rambunctious kids without the use of violence. I'd seen him deal with disrespect and arguments with a few stern words. I'd marveled at how he could cause big, burly Emmett to whimper like a kicked pup with one look. I just didn't understand how gentle Carlisle could illicit such a response; and then came that one night.

Emmett had been in a funk over losing a wrestling match with Edward. He kept badgering Edward for a rematch, but Edward refused; so, that night when Edward was playing his piano Emmett had lost his temper and destroyed Edward's piano in an attempt to instigate a fight. From the look on Edward's face, it probably would've worked if Carlisle hadn't been home. As it was, Carlisle had gotten in between the guys in a flash, silencing Emmett's protests with a fierce glare. He had then given Edward a look which caused the boy to hastily explain what happened. After another look Edward nodded and then dragged me out of the house.

We eventually ran into the women who had been hunting, and that was when I was told about the punishment all the Cullen kids feared the most… a spanking. I stared at them all in shock, certain that they'd been pullin' my leg, but their faces were serious. Even my little Alice had looked serious, while I was working hard not to burst into laughter. A spanking? That's the punishment that made these vampires cringe in terror. I couldn't believe it! It sounded so absurd to me, but they had been telling the truth, because when we arrived home we found a sheepish looking Emmett sporting red-rimmed eyes while trying to discretely rub his backside.

The next day I had questioned both Emmett and Edward about this punishment and was shocked to find out how much they feared it. It seemed so ridiculous to me! A spanking was a child's punishment, and yet they talked of it like Carlisle was ripping their limbs off. I told them what I thought, and was confused when I saw them exchange knowing looks.

"Take it from me," Emmett had said with a smile as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "you may think it's no big deal, but I swear to you that you'll be singing a much different tune when you eventually end up in that position."

I knew from his emotions that he genuinely believed what he said, but I scoffed nevertheless. A spanking was nothing compared to the punishments I had used to receive from Maria. Anytime I disobeyed or disrespected her she would punish me with painful bites, loss of limb, and even starvation. Carlisle's punishment was _nothing_ compared to that. Besides, I wasn't his son, so he'd never punish me like that.

Months went on and I slowly found myself growing closer to the Cullens. I never allowed myself to believe that I was a part of the family though, I knew I was undeserving. They may at times have enjoyed my company, but I knew that they only put up with me for Alice's sake, my dear, sweet, loving Alice. Even though I was not a part of this family I enjoyed the quiet, peaceful lives they led. I enjoyed not having to constantly watch my back, and I enjoyed not having to fight to survive anymore. However, all too soon reality caught up with me, and I realized how bad I was for this family.

It was a few months ago, almost two years after we had first joined this coven. My thirst had been a constant issue with me since I had first started hunting animals. I was not accustomed to showing restraint. It was so difficult for me not to go after humans, especially with how unsatisfactory and unappealing animal blood was to me. Not that I minded the struggle. I truly enjoyed not having to feel the pain and fear of my victims. When hunting animals, I began to feel like less of a monster. I began to feel more human.

I envied the ease with which the others, even Alice handled their thirst. While I needed to hunt every two to three days, they only hunted once a week, and usually more out of boredom than actual thirst. It was maddening being the weakest member. I was so used to being on top, to being better than those around me; but, I suppose I am nothing like the Cullens. They are much better people than I could ever hope to be, I had come to realize. They were not monsters like me.

Anyways, it was a few months ago when I lost control of my thirst. I had been pushing four days without hunting, and I had felt quite proud of myself. I had been relaxing out in the woods, just as I was now when the intoxicating scents of humans hit me. No thoughts had passed through me, I had only reacted. My instincts reared and my throat burned like no other as I quickly ran towards the alluring scents. In less than five minutes I had two humans dead at my feet. They were two teenage males, who judging from their clothes and backpacks, had probably been hiking or camping in the area. I felt satisfied for the first time in years, and I immediately hated myself for that.

I jumped when I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. It had been Alice and Edward. Alice had dragged me home, trying her best to console me while Edward took care of the bodies. I had been so terrified when I had arrived home, certain that Carlisle would punish or banish me from the family; but, he had not. He had been kind and understanding. There had been no judgment in his eyes at all. This somehow made me feel even worse than before. I wanted him to be angry, I wanted him to do something to ease the guilt I was feeling, but he did nothing and I said nothing.

When Edward returned he had told us that the men were from a nearby town, so Carlisle had decided that it would be best for us to leave, making me feel worse than ever. I could feel the irritation at having to leave from the others even though they had tried to hide it. They had all told me I was not to blame, and that accidents happened, but I ignored them. My weakness caused the death of two men, and caused our family to have to leave our home.

After that I had begun to distance myself from everyone. I was a monster, a failure, and I was undeserving of the companionship of this family. If it had not been for Alice, I would have already left by now. It was wrong of me to force myself on this happy family, and I was sure they realized that too. They had long since stopped pestering me and asking me what was wrong. They had already moved on, forgotten about me. I no longer played with Edward and Emmett, and I no longer talked with Rosalie, Esme, or Carlisle.

It was only Alice who had not moved on. She continued to try and coax and beg me to be with the family, but I refused. Her hurt tore through me, but I told myself that it would pass. Whenever the day came for me to leave, she would be hurt, but I was also certain that she would move on. Perhaps she would even find herself a new mate, one more deserving of her. My heart clenched at this thought, but I didn't care. I was being selfish. Alice deserved so much more than me, and I should be happy with the time I have spent with her.

My thoughts were cut short when I heard the approaching footsteps of my bro—of Emmett and Edward. I held back a sigh of irritation before standing up. What did they want?

Emmett appeared first, crashing into a tree and laughing his head off. Edward appeared next, giving a playful shove to his brother.

"Yo Jazzy!" Emmett crowed with a bright smile. "Are you done being all doom and gloom, because I'd really like a wrestling match! Edward here cheats"—

"I do not!" Edward cut him off. "I use my mind-reading ability like you use your strength. It's not cheating," he explained with a roll of his eyes.

"Whatever," Emmett said with a shrug before turning back to me. "So, what do you think?"

What did I think? I wanted to—no, I didn't. "Leave me alone, I don't want to fight with you. Can't you see I'm trying to enjoy some peace and quiet here?" I asked them irritably.

"Man Jasper, what's got your knickers in a twist?" Emmett replied with a frown. "You're being more moody than Eddy here, and that's saying something!"

Edward gave a hiss as I responded, "Nuthin's wrong so just leave me be, alright? Just because I don't wanna wrestle with you, doesn't mean there's somethin' wrong!"

"Jasper, dude, relax," Edward then said. "Emmett's not just talking about right now. You've been getting more and more moody and distant with us for months now. What gives?"

I growled at them, not wanting to answer. "Leave!" I roared. I normally wouldn't have been so harsh, but I hated spending any length of time around Edward anymore since he could read my mind. I didn't need him to know what I was thinking.

"What are you hiding Jasper?" Edward asked with a suspicious look, and I gave a hiss of frustration.

"Haven't you ever heard of privacy Edward?" I snapped. "Just go and leave me in peace!"

Edward glared at me while Emmett said, "Come on Edward, let's leave little miss prissy to herself."

I snarled at the insult and threw a rock at his stupid head. It hit and he immediately turned and gave a snarl of his own as he glared at me. He crouched down as though ready to pounce and I immediately readied myself for his attack.

Edward, sensing the fight though, immediately grabbed hold of Emmett's arm and dragged him away. "Come on Emmett, he's not worth it." Emmett continued to glare at me, but he allowed himself to be dragged away.

Jeez, didn't they understand that I didn't want to be bothered? Why did they have to be so damn annoying? I just wanted to be left alone, I thought as I punched a hole through a tree.

That's it, it has to be soon! I have to leave! I don't belong here! I don't!

I refrained from making a decision though because I could not allow Alice to see. She would try and stop me, and I knew she would succeed. No, it would have to be last minute. Yes, it would have to be last minute and it would have to be soon.

My heart clenched in pain once more at the thought of leaving the Cullens, of leaving Alice, but I ignored it. They were better off without me. They knew that, and eventually Alice would too.

**A/N:** So, what do you think? Like? No like? PLEASE REVIEW!

Whole story is already written and I will post one chapter a day as usual. There will be nine chapters. For you first time readers, know that this is my fourth story in a series. While you don't have to read the others to understand what's going on, it will help you understand the relationships more and some of the references the characters make to past events.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Twilight, enough said.

**WARNING: **This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_ of a teenage vampire. If you _**DO NOT LIKE**_ this material, then _**DO NOT READ**__!_

_Thoughts spoken to or heard by Edward will be italicized_

**A/N:** Woke up this morning and was totally stoked by all you who reviewed! Thanks so much! To those of you who didn't, don't be strangers! Reviews make the world go round, you know, haha!

On another note, I know Stephanie Meyer did not give Jasper a middle name, so I did. It's one I've read in other fics and liked, so I'm sticking with it

**Chapter 2: I Lose My Mind**

**Carlisle's POV:**

I parked the car in the garage and sighed in relief that I was finally home. It had been a rough day at work. The roads were slick with the first snow of the season, and accidents had brought in a multitude of people.

I took in a deep breath and smiled when I smelt the soothing scent of my wife. I looked over at the doorway and there she was waiting to greet me with a bright smile. My face immediately lit up and I quickly walked over and wrapped my arms around her before bringing her in for a loving kiss.

"Rough day?" she asked when we broke apart. I nodded my head and she caressed my cheek softly.

"How was your day, my love?" I asked, and she gave me a strained smile, which caused me to frown.

"It was fine Carlisle, but…" she trailed off and I knew what, or should I say who the cause of her strain was.

"Jasper," I spoke, and she nodded her head unhappily.

"I just don't know what to do anymore Carlisle," she told me despairingly. "He is so down, but he won't talk to me. I want to help, but all he wants to do is be by himself or with Alice. I am afraid—I am afraid he is going to leave, and I cannot stand it!" she cried, and I immediately brought her close.

"No darling, he will not leave," I reassured her, although I had my doubts. Everyone in the household had noticed that Jasper had been distancing himself from us for several months now. He barely spoke to us, and always preferred to be on his own. Even my angel, Alice was unable to get through to him. She was the only one he tolerated, but he would not open up to even her.

"Carlisle, you don't know that," Esme said, and I gave a sigh before gently placing my hands on either side of her face.

"Esme, listen to me. Whatever is bothering Jasper, we will figure it out. We just need to be patient. He is clearly going through something, and needs time to figure things out on his own," I spoke in a confident tone. "You just continue to be there for him. He will come around, you will see." I then placed a kiss on her forehead as she sighed softly.

"You are right Carlisle," she responded, "I am being silly."

"No, of course you are not being silly, dear," I told her as I brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "You are only being a concerned mother."

She gave me a loving smile before wrapping her arms around my neck and bringing me in for a passionate kiss. I hungrily responded and was just contemplating rushing her upstairs when I was interrupted by the annoyed protests of my immature children.

"Eww, jeez, get a room you guys!" Emmett cried as Edward made retching sounds.

"Totally disgusting," Alice chirped before giving us a wink.

Jasper stood silently at Alice's side and stared at us with an unreadable expression.

"Gross," Rosalie muttered as she stared at us with a disgusted expression, although I could see amusement in her eyes.

I stifled a groan as I rolled my eyes at them. "No one said you had to watch. You are welcome to leave whenever," I teased with a smirk, laughing at their outraged expressions.

"Enough Carlisle," Esme laughed as she slapped my arm lightly.

"Very well," I sighed as I made my way inside. Once inside though I turned and held out an inviting hand to my wife. "We could always continue this in the shower, my love," I purred.

"Woah, did not need to hear that!" Emmett yelled as Edward screamed, "Damn it Dad, control your thoughts!"

I gave a loud laugh, totally amused by their apparent disgust in any physical contact between me and their mother. Esme folded her arms and glared at me, though I could see she was fighting back a smile. "Honestly Carlisle, you can be as bad as them sometimes," she said with a shake of her head. Turning towards the children she then said, "He is only joking, I assure you it is safe to come inside."

I made my way upstairs and chuckled as I heard the kids grumbling as they came in.

**Alice's POV:**

I felt half disgust, half amusement at the antics of my father. It was very endearing witnessing his love for Esme, but there were some things I just did not need nor want to see.

As I walked in I immediately grabbed hold of Jasper's hand and dragged him upstairs to our bedroom. I had seen the argument he had with Emmett and Edward, and I wanted to talk to him about it. I gave my husband a kind smile, letting the love I felt for him show full force, and I was gratified to see his tense posture relax and his face break into a genuine smile.

We both sat down on the couch and I turned to him and stated, "I saw what happened between you and the guys, Jazzy."

His peaceful expression immediately turned hard, and he just shrugged his shoulders. "They wouldn't leave me alone. Y'know I like to spend some time on my own when I'm in the forest," he said.

"I do," I responded as I pondered whether to push. I knew he liked to be alone at times, but he had been spending loads of time alone lately, and I was really worried. If he wasn't with me, then he was alone.

"Jasper," I said softly as I turned his face toward me, "what's wrong?" He gave me a smile, but it looked so bitter I looked away.

"Nothing's wrong darlin'," he replied, and I fought the anger that tried to take over, but Jasper noticed. I felt him put out calming waves, and I grudgingly accepted them.

Turning back towards my husband I finally said, "Stop lying to me Jasper Whitlock. I know you are not fine. Everyone knows you are not fine! Why won't you talk to me?" I asked him, desperately hoping that he would open up to me. I was surprised to feel irritation from him as Jasper had never been irritated with me before. I tried to look at this positively though. I had been feeling almost nothing from him for the past month, so perhaps feeling anger would be a good thing.

"I'm not lying to ya Alice, I am perfectly fine. Just because I can't be bubbly like you all the time doesn't mean there's something wrong with me," he replied in a forced calm voice.

I closed my eyes as I took a breath. He's lying, and I couldn't stand it. What happened to my Jasper? He'd been so down and distant from everyone, and if I hadn't known any better I would say he's planning on leaving—no, he wouldn't do that. He couldn't do that to me. We were soul mates. Besides, I would've seen by now if he'd decided to leave.

I took another calming breath before taking Jasper's hands in mine. "Please Jasper," I begged, "please let me help you. I love you so much and _feel_ how pained I am at not knowing what's bothering you."

Jasper looked into my eyes and I saw my pain reflected in them; but just as it looked like I'd gotten through to him, he abruptly let go of my hands and stood up.

"You just don't get it, none of ya do," he said to me in frustration. "There is _nothing_ wrong with me! This is who I am Alice, and I'd think you would've realized that by now!" he snapped in a bitter tone, and I just stared at him with wide eyes.

"No," I argued vehemently, "this is _not_ who you are Jasper! This is not the man I fell in love with!"

"This is the real me," he countered. "You've just been too blind to see it."

I just shook my head at him, unable to understand what he was telling me. This was not my Jasper. My Jasper never fought with me, and he could never stand to see me in pain like I was now. This angry, callous man before me was a stranger.

I walked up to Jasper and reached out a hand to touch his cheek but he evaded my touch, breaking my heart into pieces. I knew he felt it because I noticed the concern that flashed through his eyes before being replaced by anger.

"Please Jasper, don't do this to me. Don't shut me out," I begged as tears started to slide down my cheeks. "We can work through this. Whatever's wrong, we can work through this together."

Jasper glared at me before responding through gritted teeth, "Get it through your head, there is _nothing_ wrong with me. If you can't accept me for who I am, then maybe we're not meant to be together."

I reared back as though I'd been slapped. He had not just said that. He had not just suggested that we weren't meant to be together. I never noticed when the bedroom door opened, but I did notice Rosalie wrapping an arm around me and dragging me out of the room.

"Come on Alice, let's get some fresh air. It'll be alright, come on sis," she whispered to me in a soothing tone. I wordlessly nodded as I allowed myself to be taken out of the house and into the forest.

**Edward's POV:**

Emmett and I stood in Alice's room glaring daggers at Jasper. I could not believe what he had just said. I could not believe that he had just hurt his mate so badly.

"You're a complete ass, you know that," I hissed at him, and he just glared back at me.

_Mind your own fucking business Edward!_ He shouted at me in his mind, but I just shook my head.

"Dude, how could you say that to Alice? How could you treat her like that? I thought you loved her!" Emmett raged.

"I do love her!" Jasper snapped back in anger. "She's just being over reactive! She needs to learn to accept things!"

I frowned, knowing there was more that he wasn't saying, but his thoughts gave nothing away.

"Go after her," I ordered, pointing towards the door. "If you really love her, then get your idiotic self out there and go apologize!"

"I did nuthin' wrong," he replied stubbornly, and I just shook my head in shock.

"Jeez, what the hell is wrong with you bro?" Emmett asked incredulously. "The Jasper I knew would've never said those things to Alice, and he most certainly would've never allowed her to leave his presence in tears."

"I guess you don't really know me then, Emmett," Jasper replied in a stiff tone.

My anger increased at his indifference to Alice's pain, and I could tell through his thoughts that Emmett felt the same way.

"You're a heartless bastard, you know that. Alive deserves so much better than you," I said, and he glared at me in hatred.

"Edward's right Jasper. It doesn't look like you love Alice at all or," Emmett said before being cut off by a loud snarl from Jasper.

"I do too love her!" Jasper growled. "You don't know a thing!"

Jasper then crouched down slightly and both Emmett and I mirrored his posture, but before anything could happen we were interrupted by someone saying, "I hope for your sake boys that you are not planning on fighting each other."

_Shit!_ Emmett thought as we all immediately relaxed our postures and turned towards the doorway. Our father stood, casually leaning against the doorway with crossed arms and a stern expression.

"No sir," I replied, doing my best to give him an innocent expression.

_Somehow I find that difficult to believe Edward,_ Carlisle thought, and I gave him an abashed look. He surveyed us for a minute before unfolding his arms and taking a step into the room. I was surprised by the sudden upsurge of anger I felt until I realized it was not my anger I was feeling but Jasper's. I knew my father had realized it too because he raised a questioning eyebrow at Jasper, and I felt the anger leave me.

"Edward and Emmett, I want you out of this room," he then ordered, and I suppressed a sigh before walking out. Emmett followed after a huff. _I hope Pops tans his hide_, he thought, and I gave a snort.

**Jasper's POV:**

I fought hard to control the anger I was feeling as I did not want Carlisle to feel it again.

This day could not get any worse for me, I thought. I was still reeling from the hurt I had caused Alice. I had wanted nothing more than to go after her, but I felt that the sooner she realized I wasn't good for her, the better. I knew she loved me, but she would get over me, I told myself. I hated myself for the things I had said, but it was the only way, the best way.

I fought back a growl as I thought about what Emmett and Edward had said to me. They didn't understand, they couldn't understand! They were immature idiots! They knew nothing about me! How dare they presume to tell me what to do! How dare they say that I didn't love Alice!

I threw an uneasy glance at Carlisle, not liking the penetrating look he was giving me. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to be questioned. I was out of patience. I read his emotions and found that he was feeling slightly irritated, but mostly confused.

"You want to explain to me what just happened here Jasper?" he asked mildly.

"Not really, so you'd best just leave," I ground out irritably, and he raised his eyebrows at me. I could feel his surprise at my disrespect, but I no longer cared what he thought, or at least that was what I told myself.

"Let's try this again," Carlisle then said, his tone taking on a warning edge, "explain to me what happened just now."

I glared back before rudely replying, "No, I don't think I will."

Carlisle narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. I felt his irritation growing along with confusion and concern. Concern? What was he concerned about?

"Jasper, you are trying my patience," he said. "I am trying to understand what has got you so upset, so I would appreciate it if you would answer the question."

I stared back at him in stony silence, both our anger growing. I wasn't sure whether I was influencing him or he was influencing me.

"I will not ask you again Jasper," he warned, causing anger to course through me. If I didn't want to talk to him, then he should respect my wishes and leave me the hell alone!

"And I will not answer," I suddenly shot back before storming out of my room. I ignored the hiss I heard and the sudden increase in anger.

"Jasper Lee, come back here this instant!" Carlisle yelled, but I ignored him as I made my way downstairs. I was done. I was through with all of this. Now was the time. I was leaving and no one was going to stop me!

I stormed into the living room where Esme, Edward and Emmett were standing with shocked and concerned expressions. Carlisle was there a second later, glaring daggers at me. I barely contained a flinch at the look before I responded with bared teeth. Esme looked between the two of us uneasily.

"You have three seconds to get yourself over here before I come and get you," Carlisle warned me in a steely tone, but I just snarled at him.

Fury, white hot fury permeated the room.

Esme immediately stood between the two of us. "Enough, now let's everybody calm down," she said in a soothing tone, but I ignored her. I was seething. Today was just too much. I needed to go. I needed to get out. I made my way once more towards the door, but Esme grabbed on to my shoulder.

"Jasper, son, please let's just talk this through. Just tell us what's wrong, sweetheart," she begged, and I saw red. I just wanted to be left alone, why couldn't she understand that? Fury coursed through me as I roughly shoved Esme away from me while roaring, "Yer _not_ my mother, so mind yer own damn business!" She immediately went flying into the wall, creating a huge hole before falling to the ground with a dazed look.

Silence filled the air followed then by shock, absolute shock. That was the strongest emotion that permeated the room only to be quickly replaced with rage as Carlisle let out a terrifying growl. I froze in place, staring at my outstretched arm, and then staring at Esme lying on the ground.

What the hell did I just do? I just attacked Esme, dear, sweet, loving Esme who had been nothing but kind to me. I just attacked Carlisle's mate, the coven leader's mate. Guilt and shame crashed down on me like a ton of bricks, and it took all my will power not to run away right then and there. I was a dead man. Carlisle was going to kill me. I had harmed his mate. I deserved to die, and I would accept my punishment.

I stood in numbed disbelief. I dimly noticed as Carlisle, Emmett, and Edward rushed over to Esme and helped her up. She was fine she said, giving them all reassuring looks, and I immediately looked down, not wanting to see her look at me. I was a monster, an absolute monster. I should've left a long time ago.

I wallowed in my sorrow, anger, guilt, and self-pity. I did not notice as Carlisle shooed the others out of the house. I did not notice as he paced to bring himself under control. I did notice though, when he grabbed my trembling arm and dragged me up the stairs and into his office.

**A/N: **Short chapter, I know, but I felt like this was an appropriate spot to end it. So, what'd you think? Did poor little Jazzy dig himself a very deep hole or what? PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Twilight, enough said.

**WARNING: **This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_ of a teenage vampire. If you _**DO NOT LIKE**_ this material, then _**DO NOT READ**__!_

_Thoughts spoken to or heard by Edward will be italicized_

******A/N:** THANK YOU so much for all the wonderful reviews! I'm really loving them! I was completely shocked when I checked my emails and saw how many people had reviewed and/or favorited.

On another note, I am going to apologize to you diehard twilight fans because my Jasper is going to be slightly out of character. So sorry, but I don't want my Jasper to be so serious, distant and formal like in the book.**  
**

**Chapter 3: Utter Confusion**

**Alice's POV:**

I sat on the ground and leaned against Rosalie who had her arms wrapped around me as I fought hard against the sobs that struggled to overtake me.

"I-I can't b-believe he said that to m-m-me!" I cried into her shoulder. I couldn't understand it.

"Shhh, I'm sure he didn't mean it," Rosalie reassured me. "He's just going through a phase, and I'm certain that he's feeling really guilty right now."

I nodded my head, hoping beyond hope that she was right. I was so worried about Jasper. He'd been pulling away from everyone, but I had never expected that he would do so with me. Jasper was my everything. He was the first face I saw upon waking to this life, and I knew right then and there that he was it. He was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Waking up with no memory of my human life had been terrifying. Seeing my future with Jasper and then the Cullens had given me hope. The day I had finally met Jasper had been the happiest day of my life. I finally felt whole.

My heart broke as I remembered our argument. I had been worrying about Jasper constantly for the last few months, but I had consoled myself with the fact that he had not been planning to leave. Now though, even though I had not seen him planning to do so I was starting to panic that he still might leave. He knew about my visions, and he knew how to get around them.

"I-I think he's planning on leaving," I whispered brokenly to Rosalie.

She gasped before rapidly responding, "No, of course not! He wouldn't do that!"

"I think he's p-planning on l-leaving with-without _m-me_!" I added, tears finally beginning to slide down my face.

"No, no, Alice, he would _never_ do that, especially to you!" Rosalie argued as she rubbed my arms in comfort, but I just shook my head at her.

I was getting ready to say something when I was suddenly hit with the vision that confirmed my worst fears. Jasper had finally decided to leave, and he was going to leave without me.

"NOOO!" I screamed in anguish as I jumped to my feet.

Rosalie stood as well, giving me an extremely concerned look. "What? What is it?"

I grabbed her arm and started running towards the house as I responded, "Jasper! I just saw it, he's leaving!"

"What?!" she shrieked, but I didn't respond because suddenly the vision of Jasper leaving disappeared. His future became sporadic, but I could make out that he was no longer leaving. Besides that, there was nothing more.

"Emmett!" Rosalie suddenly yelled and I came back to the present to see that Emmett, Edward, and Mom were rapidly approaching us. Their expressions varied from shock to anger to worry, and I immediately became panicked once more.

"What's going on?" I asked worriedly. "I just saw Jasper planning to leave, and then not leaving. I can't see what's happening now because his futures changing so much!"

Mom immediately opened her arms to me and I ran into them. She hugged me tightly. "No sweetheart, Jasper is not leaving."

"What are you doing here then?" I pressed, not liking the grim looks Edward and Emmett were exchanging.

"What is it?" Rosalie questioned when no one answered my question.

"Jazz lost his mind and shoved Mom into a wall," Emmett spat out with a disgruntled expression. I sucked in a breath and broke away from my mother and looked at her for confirmation.

She nodded her head sorrowfully and I covered my mouth in shock.

"No, that's not possible. My Jasper would never do something like that!" I screamed. No, no, no! This could not be happening! Jasper would _never_ attack Esme!

"It's true Alice," Edward said as he gave me a concerned expression.

"But why?" Rosalie asked in shock.

"It was an accident," Mom spoke in a firm voice ignoring the disbelieving looks the boys shot her. I ignored them as well as I looked at my mother, hoping beyond hope that she was right. She wrapped her arms around me again.

"How did he accidently throw you into a wall?" Rosalie asked, disbelief etched on her face.

"I caught him off guard is all," Mom explained. "He was upset and I should not have approached him. You know how Jasper gets sometimes." I took her words to heart, needing them to be true.

Emmett and Edward exchanged irritable glances with each other, but held their tongues. Rosalie glanced at Edward and he shook his head once. I looked away and buried my head in my Mom's chest as I concentrated on Jasper's future, and that's when I saw his break down.

I immediately burst into tears, sobbing my heart out as I saw the pain my husband was in. Mom pulled up my head up so she could see my face as she worriedly asked, "What? What did you see?"

"Jasper," I choked out, unable to complete the sentence.

"She saw Jasper breaking down," Edward remarked softly.

"It will be alright. It will be alright Alice," Esme whispered to me fiercely. "Carlisle will take care of him, trust me," she said, but I could swear I heard a slight hint of doubt in her voice. Oh Jasper, I thought painfully, please be okay, _please_.

**Carlisle's POV:**

I dragged my shaking boy up the stairs and into my office, all the while trying desperately to bring my temper under control. I could not believe he had attacked his mother! I just could not believe it! I took a deep, calming breath as I released my hold on Jasper and left him standing in the middle of my office. I paced the length of the small room, running a trembling hand through my hair.

I kept seeing what Jasper had done over and over in my mind, and I could not help the growl that escaped my lips. That boy had lost his mind! That was the only excuse for what he had done.

I took deep, calming breaths. I had never felt so angry, so disappointed with one of my children than I did right now. _Nothing_ would ever justify him treating his mother like that!

I continued to try and bring my temper under control when I was suddenly struck with crippling waves of guilt and terror. I immediately put a hand on the wall to steady myself, because I had the sudden urge to fall to the ground and curl up into a ball. Why was I feeling like this, I thought in a panic.

Wait! These are not _my_ emotions, they're _Jasper's_! I immediately turned my gaze to my son, shocked by the intensity of his emotions. His head was bowed, his fists clenched, and he was shaking, all the while letting off feelings of guilt and terror.

"Jasper," I eventually gasped, "please, I need you to calm down." His terror-filled eyes flicked towards me before he gave a stiff nod. I gave a small sigh of relief as the bulk of his feelings began to leave me. I could still feel them, but they were no longer crushing me.

I then made my way over to my son, noting as he visibly tensed. "Jasper," I called, reaching a hand out to him, only to immediately retract it when I saw him flinch. "Jasper," I called again in worry, "please tell me what has got you so terrified." I mentally cursed myself. He must be terrified of me. I should have given myself more time to calm down before deciding to deal with him.

I watched as Jasper slowly lifted his head, his scared eyes now clouded slightly with confusion, a confusion I could see and feel. "I-you-um," he stammered before clearing his throat and visibly bringing himself under control before looking me straight in the face. "I hurt your mate, and now you're gonna kill me," he explained with only the slightest of tremors. "However, before you do, sir, please allow me to express my sincerest apologies for what I have done. I would also like to-to—woah, Carlisle, why,"—he choked out before suddenly looking sick to his stomach, and I dimly realized that he was now feeling _my_ debilitating emotions.

I felt utter shock, horrible guilt, and all consuming sorrow at the words Jasper had spoken; and my son was feeling it combined with his own crushing emotions. I took several deep breaths, using all the will power I had to bring myself under control.

My son thought I wanted to kill him? My son! My son thought I wanted to _kill him_! How could I have messed up this horribly? How could he possibly believe this?

"Carlisle," my poor boy groaned, and I took several more calming breaths, pinching the bridge of my nose.

When we both had some semblance of control over ourselves I finally spoke in an anguished voice, "Jasper, my dear son, I would _never_,"—

"_Son_?!" Jasper gasped, cutting me off, and his shock resonated throughout the room. "You truly consider _me_ a _son, _even after what I did?!" he asked with wide eyes.

"_What_?! Yes, of course I consider you my son!" I immediately replied, and once more I was shocked into silence when my brave little soldier suddenly began to cry. Tears cascaded down his cheeks and his shoulders shook, but he made no sound. He fell to the ground and buried his head in his hands, and I just stared at him in stunned silence until my fatherly instincts took over and I knelt to the ground and pulled him towards me. He immediately tensed and tried to pull away, but I held onto him tightly until he finally gave in and leaned his head into my chest. This was the first time I had ever hugged my son, but I had no time to enjoy the feeling as I was immediately overwhelmed by his guilt, sorrow, shame and even a bit of joy. I tightened my hold on the broken boy, tears beginning to cascade down my own cheeks as his sorrow overcame mine.

**Jasper's POV:**

I quietly cried into Carlisle's chest, too overwhelmed with all the feelings in the room to control myself. A part of me felt extremely shamed at my loss of control, but another part of me felt joy and relief. I felt joy at the thought that Carlisle truly considered me a son, joy at the thought that I wasn't going to be killed, and joy that I would be able to see Alice once more. I also felt relief at the release of all the pent up emotions I had been keeping at bay for so long.

I couldn't remember the last time I had broken down like this, probably not since I had been human. In Maria's army, one had to be strong and always in control. Because of my position and abilities I had to have perfect control. I couldn't let anyone know what I was feelin' unless I wanted them to, and I couldn't allow anyone's feelings, especially the newborns' to overcome me. Because I've had to exert so much self-control I knew I could come off as cold and unfeelin'.

No one had been able to penetrate my unfeeling nature 'till Alice. With Alice, for the first time in decades I had felt true joy and love. I relished in the feelings, and I thought life could get no better, but then the Cullens had come into the picture. These past two years I had once more learned what it was like to be a part of a family: the camaraderie, the friendship, the love, and the trust. However, without realizin' it, as I had relished in all the emotions, I had unknowingly opened my heart. My walls had been slowly crumbling as the months went on until I one day found myself unable to close myself off as I once had. I was too attached to Alice, and I was too attached to Emmett, Edward, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle. My heart felt once more, and right now it felt crushing guilt and self-disgust for what I had done.

I felt Carlisle's sorrow and guilt, and I couldn't understand where it was coming from. I also felt his concern and, was it love? Yes, I felt his concern and love for me, and it was those feelings I took in and spread to bring myself under control. I took deep breaths, wiping at my face to remove all traces of tears. Once under control I pulled away and stood up, bowing my head in shame.

Carlisle quickly stood as well and went to place a hand on my shoulder but I shrunk away from it. He pulled back with an unreadable expression, but I could feel his slight hurt at my gesture before he quickly squashed it.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, not quite sure whether I was apologizing for attacking Esme, crying, evading his touch, or maybe all three.

"Jasper, please look at me," Carlisle spoke, and I immediately snapped my eyes to his. His gaze was full of pain as he said, "Iwant to apologize for ever giving you the impression that you were not a son to me, that you were not a part of this family. Jasper, I want, no I need you to understand that you are as much a member of this family as Alice is. I would _never_ harm you," he said despairingly before taking a deep, calming breath. I could feel his guilt and pain building, which caused my guilt and pain to increase. I tried to project calming waves, but it was difficult when I was far from calm myself.

"Jasper, I am so sorry," he apologized once more. "I thought you knew—I thought you realized," he said before closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. I felt as his guilt turned towards disgust and anger, and I wasn't sure why.

"Please Carlisle, it's fine," I quickly said, hoping to calm him. "You don't have to apologize."

"Yes, I do," he interjected in a fierce tone, and I immediately gave him a wary look, uncomfortable with the look he was giving me. "You truly thought I was going to kill you," he explained in distress before shaking his head in disgust. Oh, so he was disgusted and angry with himself over that?

"It's not yer fault, sir," I interrupted quietly. "In any other coven I woulda been killed for harmin' the coven leader's mate, so it's only natural that I thought…" I trailed off as I heard him give an exasperated sigh. His expression was guilty, sad, and frustrated.

"Jasper, this is what I am talking about," he said self-deprecatingly. "You are talking about covens and coven leaders, but we are more than that. I thought you had realized, and I am so sorry that I failed at showing you this. We may be a coven, but we are first and foremost a _family_, and I may be the coven leader, but my first and most important job will always be that of a _father_; of being _your_ father, if you would have me, that is," he explained, doubt and concern clear in his eyes and emotions.

"You truly think of _me_ as a son?" I asked numbly.

"Yes, I do," he replied seriously before projecting his love for me. I stared at him, searching his eyes and emotions for any hint of deceit, but there was none. He truly meant what he said. But that didn't make sense. How could he think of _me_ as a son?

I shook my head at him, and he frowned, confusion clear on his face.

"It doesn't make sense," I told him, and I felt as his confusion increased. He went to open his mouth, but I once more shook my head in frustration. "It doesn't make sense for you to call me yer son. I'm no good, I'm a _monster_," I choked out, shame welling up inside me and around the room.

I felt Carlisle's shock as he shook his head at me. "No! No Jasper, you are _not_ a monster! How could you think that?" he asked, but it was my turned to be confused.

"How can you not see it? How can ya not realize how bad I am for yer family!" I screamed angrily. "I'm a killer, a monster! I'm not good like you guys! I killed those humans! I can't control my thirst like you can. I'm just a weaklin', not fit ta be a part of yer family. Ya deserve a better son, and Alice deserves a better mate," I told him, shame and despair permeating the room. "I'm a failure, not worthy"—

"_Stop_!" Carlisle ordered firmly, and I immediately snapped my mouth shut and stood up straight. Pain bounced back and forth between the both of us, suffocating us with its intensity. Carlisle had his eyes closed and was pinching the bridge of his nose while taking deep breaths. When he opened them to look at me, he let his concern and love take over once more, relieving me of the negative emotions.

"I don't know where you got it in your head that there is something wrong with you, because there is _not_," he said as he reached a hand towards me. I flinched, but he laid a hand on my shoulder anyways and gave me a comforting squeeze. Through the contact I was able to feel his belief in what he was saying, and I could feel even more strongly the love he felt towards me. It was mind boggling, and I just didn't understand how he didn't see how bad I was, how I didn't belong in this family.

I soaked in a little more of his love before roughly shaking my head and breaking away. This was wrong. This was all so wrong.

"Jasper," Carlisle sighed, but I just shook my head at him. He didn't get it. I was a hindrance to his family, and I would not delude myself into thinking I truly had a place here. He had to see how burdensome it was to have me. He had to see how a—how a scarred monster like me had no place in his loving family.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out, "but I have ta go. I don't belong here." And with that I quickly turned and fled. My heart was shattering into pieces, and all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and sob like a pitiful child, but I just ran.

"Jasper, son, please stop!" Carlisle yelled as he chased after me, but I just spurred my legs on as quickly as I could. Why couldn't he just let me go, I thought despairingly. He was making this so much harder than it had to be.

"_Jasper Lee Cullen_, I order you to stop running this instant!" he suddenly roared, and I froze, cringing at his tone while at the same time marveling at the fact that he called me Cullen. I shook my head roughly at these thoughts to clear my head. Get a grip Jasper, I chided myself. Remember why you're leaving! With that cheerful thought I disregarded the order and began to run again. My moment of pause had lasted only a fraction of a second, but that all that was needed for Carlisle to catch up to me.

"Leave me alone!" I snarled at him in half fury and half desperation before I suddenly found Carlisle's strong arms wrapped around me, pinning my arms to my side. I let out a fierce growl as I tried to escape his grasp, but his grip on me never slackened. I then lifted my legs, and using a tree, I pushed off it with as much strength as I could, which sent both Carlisle and I flying through a few trees and into a large boulder.

"Calm down Jasper!" Carlisle hissed at me, but I ignored him as I screamed back, "Let me go!"

I turned my body, trying to roll, but I only ended up causing the both of us to go rolling around the floor. I thought briefly about trying to bite his arm, but the thought of hurting Carlisle caused me so much grief I quickly put it out of my mind. I wanted to get away, but I would not stoop to harming him.

I immediately stopped fighting in hopes that Carlisle would loosen his grip enough for me to escape, but he only let out a small sigh, his grip as firm as ever. I then tapped into my gift and tried to influence him into letting me go. I felt him loosen his arms slightly, and right when I was getting ready to break away he strengthened his hold once more.

"That is not going to work on me Jasper Lee, so I suggest you do not try it again," he told me in a stern tone, and I could sense disappointment and irritation coming off him, which caused me to feel guilty.

"Please just let me go Carlisle, and you won't have to trouble yerself with me anymore," I begged. I hoped that he would listen, but all he did was lift himself and me up off the floor. "Please Carlisle," I pleaded, "just lemme leave so I won't cause anymore problems. Yer all better off without me." Just let me go, just let me go. Let me leave, please just let me leave!

I froze when I felt his arms loosen, and felt utter shock when he actually let me go. Pain immediately coursed through me at the gesture, knowing that he had finally realized what a burden I was; that he had finally realized things would be better with me gone.

Run Jasper, I thought to myself. Run and never look back. I took a few steps away, but I couldn't bring myself to run.

Don't look at him Jasper, don't look at him. You don't want to see his expression, I repeated over and over in my head, but I couldn't help but turn my head back towards him. His expression was blank, but I could feel sadness, guilt, and self hatred coming off him.

"You want to leave Jasper?" he asked, but I didn't respond. He then raised his arm and pointed ahead of us. "If you want to leave, then I am not going to try and stop you anymore. I just hope you realize that you are running for all the wrong reasons, and I hope you realize what this will do to our family, to Alice." He said all this calmly, but with every word he spoke his sadness and guilt only increased, and as a result, so did mine.

I looked towards the forest once more, took another step, but then looked back at Carlisle once more. His had his thumbs hooked in the belt loops of his slacks, and his head was cocked slightly to the side as though he were curious why I hadn't left yet. When our eyes met once more, he raised a questioning eyebrow, and I felt a rush of shame. I didn't _want_ to leave, but I _had _to.

"Jasper," Carlisle remarked, "I do not want you to leave." My heart lifted slightly at his words. "I look at you right now and I do not see you as a monster or as a burden," he continued to say. "I see before me my son, my son who is hurting and lost." He gazed at me with caring eyes, and my breaths began to quicken as I shook my head.

"Please Jasper," Carlisle begged, holding out a hand to me, "Please accept that everything I say to you is the truth. I love you, my stubborn soldier, and I would be greatly honored if you would allow me to be your father."

If my heart still beat, I knew it would've been pounding right now. I stared at Carlisle, wanting so much to believe what he said and to accept his offer, but a small traitorous part of me hissed that it was all lies, that it could not be true.

"Jasper, please don't leave me," a broken voice suddenly begged, and I gasped as I whirled around and saw Alice walking towards me with outstretched arms. Her agonizing pain and fear cut through me like no other, so I immediately gathered her into my arms as she began to cry.

**A/N:** So, another chapter out of the way! Jazzys obviously got a lot of issues to work out, and it's going to take almost the entire story before he really allows himself to believe what everybody is telling him. He sure is stubborn!

Anyhow, please please REVIEW!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Twilight, enough said.

**WARNING: **This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_ of a teenage vampire. If you _**DO NOT LIKE**_ this material, then _**DO NOT READ**__!_

_Thoughts spoken to or heard by Edward will be italicized_

**A/N:** Howdy all! I'm totally loving all of you and your wonderful reviews! Keep them coming!

**Chapter 4: Well I'll Be Damned**

**Jasper's POV:**

I tightened my hold on Alice as she sobbed into my chest. I glanced around warily as the rest of the Cullen family surrounded us. Esme stood over by her mate and had a hand covering her heart as tears slid down her face. Rosalie, Edward, and Emmett on the other hand just glared at me, and I didn't have to be an empath to know they were furious with me.

Alice continued to cry, and I felt like an absolute monster. Look at what I had done to my poor, sweet, innocent Alice. She was in so much pain and it was my entire fault.

"Stop it!" she suddenly screamed, pushing away from me. She glared at me with red-rimmed eyes as I stared at her in shock. "Stop feeling guilty Jasper Whitlock! Just tell me that you're not leaving me and that everything will be okay," she said tearfully, and I just stared at her in sadness, unable to comply with her wish. I gave a moan as I felt her sorrow and hurt increase, and it was all I could do not to get down on my knees and beg her forgiveness.

"I'm not good for ya Alice," I finally choked out. "I'm a monster, and I gotta leave. You're much better off without me, and someday soon I hope you find your real mate," I told her, ignoring the shocked gasps that came from the others.

Alice looked at me as though she had never seen me before, and I could feel her anger increasing. Good, I thought dully, she should be angry with me.

"Of all the asinine" Edward began as Emmett hissed, "Jasper, you idiot," and Rosalie screamed "You have got to be the dumb"—

"Enough!" Carlisle ordered, effectively silencing them. I glanced over at him warily before turning my eyes back to Alice, who out of nowhere raised up her hand and slapped me hard across the face.

"Ah!" I cried out in surprise as Esme shrieked angrily, "Alice Cullen!" I brought up a shocked hand to my cheek and felt extreme shock and hurt. Was this her way of saying I was right, I thought in confusion?

"Jasper Lee Whitlock, you are the most idiotic, self-centered, pig-headed man I have ever met and I couldn't love you more!" Alice shrieked before throwing her arms around me and bringing me in for a kiss. Shock and amusement permeated the area before it was consumed by the love I felt coming from Alice. I immediately returned her passionate kiss, thanking God for giving me this loving woman.

I became lost in the moment, only aware of the woman in my arms until I suddenly heard several cleared throats and forced coughs that sounded more like laughs. I immediately broke away, embarrassed at having displayed such emotion in front of the others. Embarrassment aside though, I could not help the silly grin I sported as my Alice wrapped her arms around my torso and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek.

"You are so _stupid_!" she chided me with a small frown. "I thought you didn't want me anymore, but you were just being an idiotic fool! You are my soul mate and I could _never_ love another man like I do you, and of course you're not a monster!"

I relished in her love, although uncertainty continued to plague me.

"Alice," I began to murmur, bur she just tightened her hold on me and shook her head.

"You're not going anywhere. This is _our family_ and this is where _we_ belong," she said in a stubborn tone, and I glanced up in time to see the others nodding their heads in agreement.

"Jasper," Carlisle finally said, "do you see now what I have been trying to tell you? You already are a member of this family and everyone here will tell you the same. You are not a monster or a burden; you are just Jasper, a son, brother, and husband."

"Monster?" Emmett asked with an incredulous laugh. "Pfft! Jazz please, you're even more of a softie than Eddie here!" he joked as he gave Edward a playful shove. "You're my little brother, so how 'bout you get off your high horse and come wrestle with us once more?" he asked with a playful grin, which I tentatively returned. Though his words were all in jest I could feel his love and concern for me and that warmed my heart.

"_Little_ brother?" I asked with raised eyebrows, and he just nodded his head as Edward rolled his eyes and gave me a 'let it be' expression.

"So Jasper," Edward then added with a smile, "I'm getting awfully bored with Emmett's incessant chatter. It'll be nice to have a brother I can have an intelligent conversation with." We both laughed as Emmett gave us an affronted look, and I suddenly realized how much I had missed this playful banter, this brotherly camaraderie. As with Emmett, I could sense the brotherly love Edward felt towards me, and with a grin I turned towards Rosalie.

That grin faltered though when I saw the icy glare she was giving me, and I suddenly felt unsure again. She stalked over towards me and I was certain I was about to get slapped again, so I was caught completely off guard when she pulled me in for a hug. "I'm really angry with you right now for not telling me how you felt, but I want you to know that I'll forgive you if you accept the fact that you're my brother and a member of this family," she whispered into my ear before pulling away giving me a hard stare. I gave her a small grin as I felt how much she cared for me before I mutely nodded my head.

It was at this point that I turned my head towards Esme who was giving me a tender, loving look only a mother could pull off, and I suddenly felt like crying. How could she bare to look at me after what I had done? How could she feel any love towards me after how I had treated her?

"Jasper, sweetheart," she said as she made her way over to me, "I want you to know that not one single member of this family looks at you as a burden. You have brought so much happiness to our lives that without you, we would not be complete." By this point she was softly caressing my face, and I was suddenly overwhelmed by the acceptance and love I felt from everyone around me. I closed my eyes at the onslaught and used all the willpower I had to keep from bawling from happiness.

How could I have been so blind? How could I not have realized the depths of their feelings before this? I gave a mental snort. And here I was calling myself an empath!

"Group hug!" Emmett suddenly bellowed before coming over and wrapping his huge arms around Esme, Alice, and I. I gave him a small glare as the others laughed, but there was no heat behind it. A feeling of rightness permeated the air, and every single one of us at this point could feel the sheer joy radiating off of me.

**Carlisle's POV:**

I soaked in the joy I felt coming off of my son as he awkwardly broke away from the hug. Finally, I thought in relief, things are as they should have been. I could see the dark cloud that had been looming over my son for months now begin to disappear. He looked lighter and there was a spark in his eyes that I had only caught glimpses of before. Alice practically vibrated with excitement before letting out an ecstatic squeal as she tackled her husband.

"We're staying!" she yelled as she hugged Jasper with all her might. The rest of us just laughed, caught up in the moment of giddiness. I grinned over at my wife who took my hand in hers and gave it a kiss.

"Relax Alice," I heard Jasper murmur to Alice as he picked himself and her up off the floor. I could hear slight desperation in his voice, and I realized that all these emotions were probably too much for him to handle at this point. I smiled as I saw her take huge, calming breaths before just looking at Jasper with loving eyes. He returned her look with such intensity that I found myself turning away because I felt as though I were intruding in on a private moment.

I glanced over towards my other children and choked back a laugh as I saw Rosalie scolding Emmett for having ruined yet another shirt while hunting. Edward, on the other hand held nothing back as he openly laughed at his brother. I then looked over at Esme who gave me a loving smile, and I brought her close to me. It was then that I noticed the tear in her blouse, and I was suddenly reminded of the event that brought us to this situation in the first place.

"Carlisle," Esme sighed when she noted my frown, but I ignored her as I turned my head to stare at Jasper. As though he felt my gaze, he looked up and locked eyes with me before hurriedly looking away in guilt. Alice, perhaps feeling his change in emotion looked over at me with a sad expression. She then suddenly froze for a few seconds, before flicking her eyes between Esme and me with a worried look on her face. I narrowed my eyes at the action, wondering what it was she 'saw'. As Jasper gave Alice a look of concern, I noted that Edward was also looking between Esme and me with worry, but when I gave him a questioning look he just shook his head before looking away.

"Carlisle," Esme said, causing me to look back at her, "we need to talk." I nodded my head, thinking she probably wanted to discuss Jasper's punishment. She usually did not like it when I decided our children's punishment on my own, especially when a spanking was to be involved, and I could not fault her. We were a partnership, a team, so we needed to decide these things together.

"Children," she suddenly called, "your father and I need to talk, so I want all of you to go on home." Rosalie and Emmett nodded their heads in understanding while Jasper kept his head lowered, refusing to make eye contact. Edward and Alice exchanged concerned looks before Alice shrugged her shoulders, grabbed Jasper's hand, and began to head on home, the others quickly following.

I pondered over Edward and Alice's exchange before giving a mental sigh. If it was serious they would have said something, so there was no use worrying. With that reassuring thought I turned back towards my loving wife who was sporting a pensive look.

"Are you alright?" I asked in concern, fingering the tear in her blouse. I frowned as I recalled Jasper throwing her into the wall, righteous anger beginning to flow through me once more.

"Darling, I am fine," Esme said with a sigh, grabbing onto my hand.

"He should not have done that," I growled lowly, remembering the fear I had felt over the possibility of her being hurt.

"Carlisle," Esme sighed once more, "I am _fine_, and it was nothing. I surprised him is all," she said, and I stared at her with wide eyes.

"It was _nothing_?!" I asked, bewildered that she thought so little of what had happened. "Esme, that boy laid a hand on you out of anger," I explained in clipped tones, my voice tight with anger. "He could have seriously harmed you!"

Esme shook her head before turning and taking a few steps away from me. I watched as she took a deep breath before suddenly turning around and looking at me with a determined expression. Oh no, I thought, my mind beginning to piece together what was about to happen.

"Carlisle, I do not want you to spank Jasper," she stated in a firm tone, her eyes boring into mine.

"No," was my immediate response, and I fought back a groan as I watched her cross her arms and narrow her eyes at me.

"Esme," I tried to explain, "Jasper lost his temper and threw you into a wall. I _cannot_ let this go. Attacking a family member out of anger is expressly forbidden, as you well know,"—

"He did not attack me," Esme interrupted with some exasperation. "We both know that due to his past experiences Jasper sometimes acts on instinct. He is normally very good about controlling them, but he was upset, and I should have known better than to approach him."

I shook my head at my wife. "Jasper acted out of a temper, pure and simple. Barring when around humans, Jasper has extraordinary control over his instincts. He was in complete control of that part of himself when you laid your hand on him. It was only his fury at the situation that fueled him to shove you."

Esme scowled at my explanation before snapping, "Well you should not have been pushing him so hard."

I bristled at the comment and was readying a retort when she continued speaking.

"His emotional state should be taken into account then. He was extremely upset Carlisle, surely you could see that," she stated somewhat angrily. "He thought we did not want him, and that we only viewed him as a burden."

I felt pain at her words, the guilt I had felt at Jasper's admissions eating away at me. This situation was eerily similar to what had occurred with Rosalie all those years ago, and I once more cursed myself for being so ignorant. It had occurred to me that Jasper may feel this way, but I had reassured myself that if he did, then Alice, Edward, or even Rosalie would have realized and told me since they spent more time around him than I did. I had not anticipated how adept my soldier would be at hiding his feelings from everyone, even his mate.

I shook my head at these thoughts and looked at my wife, who had fire in her eyes. "Rosalie's situation was very similar to this," I reminded her, "and when she lost her temper and attacked Edward I did not go easy on her. After we discussed her issues and I helped her realize how she was a part of this family I blistered her stubborn behind for what she had done."

Esme shook her head at me, but I cut her off. "In my eyes Jasper attacking you is a worse offense because you are his mother. Not only do I plan on spanking him, but I plan on giving him a few licks with my belt to insure it never happens again."

"No you will not!" Esme yelled out indignantly, but I ignored her as I continued to speak.

"When Emmett attacked me I spanked him with my hand and ended it with five warning licks with my belt, and I intend to do the same with Jasper," I informed her. I felt it would only be fair to treat Jasper to the same punishment Emmett had received. I did not care what the reason was or how bad the 'attack' was, I would _not_ stand for any of our children attacking us in anger. There was no excuse.

"This situation is completely different," Esme retorted. "Emmett got into an actual fight with you, _and_ he caused serious damage to your arm. Jasper acted without thought and without the intention of harming me. He just wanted me out of the way, and he probably misjudged his strength."

I gave my wife a look of disbelief. She could not really believe what she was saying. "Misjudged his strength? Esme, really," I scoffed, "Jasper is not some newborn who cannot control his actions. Yes, he was upset, and yes, he felt unwanted and unloved, but that does not excuse his behavior. _Nothing_ gives him the right to _ever_ lay a finger on you in anger!" I said heatedly. I could not understand how she could continue to defend him. Why was she acting so blasé about what Jasper had done?

Esme pursed her lips before walking over to me and taking my hands in hers. "Carlisle, I know that you are feeling protective of me, but I promise you that I am fine. Jasper did not hurt me, and I know he never will. Please, can you not see how guilty he feels over what happened?" she asked with despair clear in her voice.

I closed my eyes, her pain cutting through me. When I opened them again though, I gave my wife a determined look of my own before saying, "I know he is feeling guilty, I am not blind, but that does not excuse what he did." Esme immediately turned her head and pulled away, frustration clear on her face.

"What has you so worried Esme?" I pressed, upset by how much she was fighting me on this. "You know I never have and never would harm any of our children, don't you?" I asked in concern.

"Yes, of course I do," she responded irritably. "I know you would never intentionally hurt our children Carlisle, but sometimes I feel you are too harsh with them. I know you mean well, but sometimes a spanking is not warranted," she explained, and I felt a stab of hurt and anger go through me.

"Too harsh?" I finally choked out in indignation. She said nothing, and only stared at me with pursed lips.

"Well, perhaps it is only because you are too easy on them!" I then burst out in anger. "You coddle them like a bunch of infants, making excuses for every little thing they do!"

"Because you seem to find fault in everything they do," she hissed back with narrowed eyes.

I gritted my teeth and fought back a low growl. I was angry and frustrated, and I was guilty and hurt. I hated fighting with my wife, and I could not understand why she was suddenly so protective of Jasper. I closed my eyes before taking a deep breath. I had to calm myself because getting upset was not helping anything.

"Esme," I eventually ground out, "I cannot and will not let this go. I treat all my children the same, and if any of the others had done what Jasper had, then they would be receiving the same punishment. Letting this go will cause more harm than good."

"Spanking him will cause more harm than good," she countered heatedly, and I just shook my head at her.

"A spanking will teach him to mind his temper, and it will help ease the guilt he is feeling. Jasper expects to be punished and he knows how I deal with serious misbehavior in this family. If I let him off with only a few stern words then he will wonder why I am treating him differently, and his guilt over the situation will eventually consume him."

"So you have decided then?" she suddenly burst out in anger. "And nothing I say will change anything?"

"Nothing you say will change anything," I responded, my own anger bubbling just beneath the surface.

**Jasper's POV:**

Guilt and worry coursed through me as I finished listening to what Alice and Edward were telling us. I could feel surprise and worry coming off the others, which wasn't helping me at all.

"Mom and Pops are _fighting_?" Emmett asked with shocked eyes.

"They're arguing, not fighting," Edward corrected with a disgruntled expression.

"But-but, this is Mom and Pops we're talking about! They _never_ argue!" Emmett burst out, his worry beginning to overtake his surprise.

"And they're arguing about Jasper?" Rosalie questioned, and I could've sworn she threw me an accusing look. I gave a small groan at the thought that it was me causing a rift between the Cullen parents. A small hand suddenly gripped one of mine and I turned my head to see Alice giving me a comforting smile. I gave her a small one of my own, my heart lifting slightly as I felt her love for me.

"Mom doesn't want Dad to, well you know," Edward then explained with a slight grimace, which caused both Emmett and Rosalie to frown, confusion now radiating off of them. I too felt confusion, but for an entirely different reason.

"Mom doesn't want Dad to what? I mean, er…" I trailed off with some embarrassment as I realized that I had just referred to Carlisle and Esme as my parents.

I felt joy radiate off of Alice as Edward's lip twitched in amusement. The mood was ruined though when Emmett grumbled, "The old folks are fighting because Ma doesn't want Pops to tan your hide."

"What?" I responded in surprise, which led to Emmett rolling his eyes and saying, "The old man wants to spank you and our dear mama bear is not happy."

"I knew what ya meant," I quickly snapped at him, "I just don't get why they'd be arguing over somethin' like that." Emmett smirked at me, and I just huffed as my embarrassment began to increase. So, Carlisle and Esme were arguing because Carlisle wanted to-to give me a child's punishment? I wasn't sure what to think about that.

Embarrassment was one of my main emotions. Embarrassment at the thought of being given such a juvenile punishment, and embarrassment over my mate and siblings being aware of what my impending punishment would probably be.

I also felt guilty that my actions were causing Carlisle and Esme to argue, something they apparently _never_ did. Why did I always have to cause such trouble? In addition to guilt over this, I also still felt guilt over what I had done to Esme, a guilt that was slowly intensifying as I realized that even though I had hurt her she was still trying to protect me. She shouldn't be though, I thought with an unhappy frown. Whatever Carlisle wants to do to me I more than deserve it, even if the punishment is as mild as a spanking.

A spanking, I thought ruefully. Did Carlisle really think _that_ was an appropriate punishment for having hurt his mate? I certainly didn't. I had faced much more terrifying and much more painful punishments in my days with Maria for much less reasons. Perhaps I should explain to him—

"You'll be singing a different tune once it's over with Jasper, trust me," Edward interrupted my thoughts with a knowing look. I shot him a glare for having read my thoughts, and he just shook his head.

"What was he thinking?" Emmett asked with a half-smirk, and I quickly thought to Edward, _Don't you dare tell him_! He ignored me though and said, "Jazz here thinks a spanking is not a harsh enough punishment for him, so he's planning on telling Dad that."

I glared angrily at Edward before glaring over at Emmett and Rosalie as they began to laugh. I then turned my head towards Alice when I felt her amusement spike. She wasn't laughing, but she also had a knowing smile on her face. I didn't know how to respond to this, so I just settled with glaring at everyone before grumpily asking, "So are they still arguing?"

I felt a glimmer of guilt over how quickly the amusement left the room, but my anger at the situation overruled it. My guilt did increase though when Alice responded worriedly, "Yes, and it's only getting worse. They're really going to hurt each other if they continue on." Surprise, along with worry increased dramatically in the room at her words.

"When you say hurt, do you mean physically?" Rosalie hesitantly asked in a quiet, scared voice, which caused a sudden upsurge of panic from Emmett and me.

"No," Alice answered immediately as she exchanged a concerned look with Edward. The panic subsided, but Rosalie's face took on a distraught look, which caused Emmett to pull her into his arms. I released Alice's hand and buried my head in my hands as I internally moaned. This was all my fault. There had to be something I could do, something, _anything_! Maybe if I went and talked to them, I thought in desperation before looking over at Alice as she gave a small gasp.

Her eyes were closed as she concentrated on her visions, and when she opened them I was surprised by the hope and happiness I felt coming off of her as she locked eyes with Edward.

"What did you see?" I asked, and was surprised when I suddenly found myself with arms full of Alice.

"It's not definite, but you should do it," she remarked when she pulled away, and I stared at her in confusion.

"Talk with Mom and Dad," Edward added, and it suddenly dawned on me.

"It'll help?" I asked uncertainly, not believing that I could actually make the situation better.

"Yes!" Alice exclaimed as she pulled me up and off the couch. "Now go before it's too late!" she added, pushing me towards the door, and I responded with a quick smile before running out of the house in search of my parents. I had no idea what I was going to say, but if Alice believed I could help then who was I to argue? I had learned long ago to never bet against Alice because she was always right.

**A/N:** So, Jasper starts to see a bit of light and the parents get into a bit of a tussle, haha! Let me know what you think by please REVIEWING as faithfully as you have been!

Side note: I do know that vamps can't produce tears, but I just think it helps add to the story, so yeah.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Twilight, enough said.

**WARNING: **This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_ of a teenage vampire. If you _**DO NOT LIKE**_ this material, then _**DO NOT READ**__!_

_Thoughts spoken to or heard by Edward will be italicized_

**A/N:** With every story you guys still continue to blow me away with all the amazing reviews! I never ceased to be astounded by how many people enjoy my writing, so big THANK YOU!

Without further ado, let's see how the Cullen parents' argument turns out!

**Chapter 5: Clean Out Yer Ears and Listen to What I'm Tellin' Ya!**

**Carlisle's POV:**

"We are a partnership Carlisle, and I have as much say in the children's punishments as you do," Esme argued with hands on her hips.

"You can give me your opinion, but ultimately the decision is mine," I informed her with crossed arms.

Esme gave a low hiss as she glared at me. "I am tired of you making decisions without truly taking my opinion into account. I normally always give in to you, but this time I will not! You will _not_ be spanking my son," she finished with a challenging look.

So he's her son now, I thought with a scoff before returning her challenging look with one of my own. "I will do what I deem is necessary and nothing you say or do will change that," I stated, a low growl rumbling in my chest.

Esme's glare turned fierce, her eyes rapidly darkening as she responded with a low growl of her own. "I swear to God Carlisle, if you—if you…" she trailed off, suddenly looking a little dazed. I would have been concerned if I had not also found myself feeling a little confused and drowsy, as strange as it sounded. I shook my head to try and rid myself of this feeling before snapping it up to the right as I caught the scent of my son. What in the world is he doing here, I thought before coming to the realization that he was to blame for the strange feelings Esme and I were experiencing.

"Jasper Lee, you had better stop controlling our emotions this instant and explain what the hell you are doing here!" I snapped irritably, not having enjoyed my emotions being played with so easily.

I gave a sigh of relief when the confusion and drowsiness left me before I glared in the direction of where I knew my soldier was hiding.

"Jasper, sweetheart, come on out, it is alright," Esme called kindly before she threw me a glare that said, 'be nice or else'. I gave no response as I watched Jasper slowly and hesitantly make his way from behind a tree and over towards us. His face was expressionless, but his eyes revealed how nervous he was as he rapidly flicked his gaze between his mother and me. I quickly found most my anger leaving me to be replaced with a bit of shame, guilt, and concern. I felt shame over the fact that he caught us arguing, guilt over how nervous he appeared, and concern with what he must be thinking after witnessing such a display.

When Jasper finally arrived before us he stood at attention with his hands behind him as he stared straight ahead. I mentally smacked myself for having caused him to retreat into his shell. I quickly glanced over at Esme to see she was looking upset, but unsure of how to approach the situation.

"Jasper, son," I finally said, "It is alright, you can relax. We are not angry with you."

Jasper responded with a slow nod as he looked over at me before relaxing a little. "I'm, um, I'm sorry for botherin' you. I just, well I just didn't want ya ta be, um, arguin' about me," he explained softly, still looking straight ahead of him.

"Oh Jasper," Esme sighed sadly as she slowly made her way towards him. He nervously looked over at her, seeming a bit surprised when she gently ran a hand through his blonde curls.

"How did you know what we were doing?" I asked, already knowing the answer, but wanting him to confirm it.

Jasper ducked his head a bit before looking over at me somewhat nervously. "Well, I, you see sir, I was comin' to talk ta ya and I happened to"—he began to stutter, but I cut him off with a stern look. His demeanor and stutters alerted me to the fact that he was attempting to come up with a lie to cover for Alice and probably Edward.

"Stop while you are ahead Jasper, and do not attempt to lie because you will only land yourself in more trouble," I warned as I took a few steps toward him.

Shame hit me, and I knew immediately it was Jasper's as he stood with hunched shoulders and ducked head. "Yes sir," he promptly replied repentantly, "I'm sorry sir."

I nodded my head as I let him know with my emotions that he was forgiven. "Alice had a vision?" I then asked, and Esme threw me a worried look as he gave a stiff nod.

"It was my decision to come though, sir," he added in an earnest tone, "no one told me to."

"I believe you, son," I told him soothingly, all the way growing concerned as to what Alice may have seen. It seemed Esme had the same worry as she then asked, "What did Alice see that made you want to come and find us, Jasper?"

"It was nuthin', she just saw you guys arguing," he replied, not meeting either of our eyes.

"Jasper," I sighed in a warning tone as Esme took one of his hands in her own and said, "Please sweetheart, just tell us."

Jasper responded with a sigh before nodding his head. Looking down at his shoes he then answered, "She saw you guys arguing about, well, about my punishment, and everybody was real shocked and worried 'bout you guys. Everybody really started to-to panic though when she said she saw you hurtin' one another"—

"_Hurt_?!" Esme and I yelled in shock and panic. No, there was no way, _no way_ I would ever harm Esme, no matter how angry I was!

"Oh, no, not physically harm," Jasper quickly added as he noted our panic, "She meant emotionally."

My panic lessened, but I still felt a stab in my heart at the thought that I'd cause Esme any hurt. I wallowed in my self-hatred until I heard Esme asking in a broken voice, "It was me, wasn't it? What did"—she asked, but I cut her off.

"No!" I shouted as I took her hands in mine. "No, it had to have been me," I told her. "I was losing my temper"—

"So was I Carlisle!" she cut me off, and I gave a soft sigh as I leaned into her until our heads were touching.

"Okay, we are both at fault then," I whispered to her, and she nodded her head at me. We gazed into each other's eyes, silently apologizing to each other and expressing our love for one another. I felt a moment of confusion when I suddenly began to feel self conscious and embarrassed until I realized those were not my own emotions I was feeling. I smothered a grin as I broke away from my wife and looked over towards Jasper to see him anxiously tapping a finger against his leg while purposefully looking away from us.

"I am curious Jasper," I suddenly said to catch his attention, "_why_ you felt the need to come and intervene."

"It's my fault yer arguin'. If I hadn't…" he trailed off with a guilty look towards Esme.

"Jasper, sweetheart, it is not your fault we were arguing," Esme stated with a loving look, but Jasper just stubbornly shook his head as he replied, "You were arguing over _my_ punishment for a-attacking you."

"That still does not make it your fault Jasper," I informed him kindly.

Jasper shrugged his shoulders in response before then saying embarrassedly, "Everybody was really worried about you guys, and, well I was as well. I had a thought of coming and talking with ya, and then Alice said it was a good idea, so she pushed me out the door."

I felt a spark of amusement at the thought of little Alice shoving her mate out the door, but it did not last as I thought of how concerned Esme and I had made our children. I was not happy that they knew of our argument, and I was not sure how I felt about the fact that Alice (and most likely Edward) felt the need to share what we were doing with everyone. Our argument was meant to be private, but then again I was relieved that Jasper had interrupted us.

"Jasper," I finally said, "I think you should head back to the others, explain that everything is alright, and that we will be along shortly."

Jasper frowned in concern as he looked between Esme and me. Esme nodded at him encouragingly, but he eventually just shook his head at us. "No, if you're going ta be discussing my punishment, I think I should be involved."

"Jasper," Esme sighed as I gave him a stern look.

Jasper shifted uneasily before looking at Esme with a guilty expression as he said, "I am so, so sorry for what I did to you Esme. I was—what I did ta you was completely unacceptable and inexcusable, and I, well I know I deserve a harsh punishment for my actions."

I watched him bow his head, and Esme and I could clearly feel the guilt and shame he was feeling. My heart ached at his apparent self-hatred but I also felt a flicker of pride that he accepted the enormity of his actions and did not try to make an excuse. Glancing at my wife I repressed a sigh as she looked heartbroken over how Jasper was beating himself up.

"Oh darling," she cried, gently putting her hands on either side of his face, "please stop being so hard on yourself. I know you didn't mean to harm me, and I apologize for not letting you be when it was clear you were quite upset."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, fighting back a roar of frustration. For God's sake Esme, it was _not_ your fault I wanted to shout, but I remained silent as I noticed Jasper's look of indignation.

"No!" he suddenly shouted in outrage, putting his hands on top of hers. "It was all _me_ Esme, you did nuthin' wrong! I-I was upset and I wrongfully took my anger out on you," he urged with downcast eyes.

Esme shook her head in response and looked ready to argue when my little soldier shocked her into silence by saying in a soft, pleading voice, "Please Mama, it was _my_ fault. You did _nuthin'_ wrong." Esme's eyes widened at his declaration, and even Jasper himself looked shocked by his own words. I, on the other hand sent out a wave of love and appreciation towards Jasper as I graced him with a warm smile.

Jasper immediately looked over at me in surprise and embarrassment before he immediately turned back towards my loving wife who pulled him into her arms. "Oh Jasper," she exclaimed, venom tears sliding down her face as she clung to the boy. Jasper threw me an alarmed look as he awkwardly patted her back, and that was when I decided to come and rescue him.

"Alright Esme, my love," I remarked in gentle amusement, "I do believe you are frightening the boy."

"I'm sorry Jasper," she immediately stated as she pulled away and began wiping at her tears, "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"It's fine," Jasper replied immediately in a soothing voice as he gave her a shy smile. Esme responded with a breathtaking smile of her own before telling him, "You don't know how happy you just made me Jasper. I love you so much, darling, and I just want to see you happy."

Jasper looked at her in surprise before flicking his gaze towards me. I nodded my head in agreement, once more allowing him to feel the love I felt towards him, and a slow hesitant smile began to spread across his face. I returned the smile with a wide grin of my own when I suddenly felt _his_ love for me. I knew Esme had felt it as well when a fresh new wave of tears began to cascade down her lovely cheeks. I immediately wrapped an arm around her, giving her a loving kiss on her temple. Once she had calmed down again she threw both Jasper and I sheepish smiles.

"So, um," Jasper suddenly declared as he absentmindedly tugged at his shirt cuffs, "I know what punishment you were arguing about."

I stared at him with a mild frown as Esme threw me a pointed look.

"We are still discussing it and we have _not_ yet come to an agreement, isn't that right Carlisle?" she stated more than asked. I clenched my jaw and let go of her as she gave me a hard stare, barely resisting a growl of frustration. We were not going to do this again. His punishment had already been decided the second he laid a finger on her, and I was going to go through with it whether she approved or not.

"Woah now," Jasper called as he stood between us with a wary look, and I immediately found myself calming as his gift shot through me. I took a deep breath as Jasper turned to his mother and said in a calming voice, "Please don't fight over this, _please_. I more than deserve whatever punishment Carlisle decides on, so please don't argue over it anymore. I don't like it when ya two argue."

"Darling," Esme sighed sadly, "I don't think you realize what you are asking"—

"I do," he interjected as he gave me a quick glance. "Carlisle wants ta, well he wants ta give me a lickin'," he said with a mild look of embarrassment on his face, "and like I said before, I deserve whatever punishment he decides for what I did."

Esme stared him in the eyes for a few moments before giving him a small, defeated nod as she patted him on the cheek. I could see from here she was not happy, but after taking a deep breath she visibly pulled herself together before giving our son a loving smile. "Head on home now Jasper," she ordered in a firm tone, "and tell Alice and your siblings that all is well between your father and I and that they have nothing to be concerned about." Jasper gazed between her and me with an unsure look, but when I nodded my head in the direction of home he gave a short nod before taking off.

I watched him go before turning back towards Esme with a somewhat hesitant look. She gave weary sigh before walking over and wrapping her arms around me. I immediately accepted her embrace, burying my face in her beautiful hair.

"I am so sorry Carlisle," she responded sorrowfully as she looked up at me. "I said terrible things to you that I did not truly mean. I know you are always fair with our children and that you would never harm them whether intentionally or unintentionally. I don't know what has gotten into me," she explained with an unhappy shake of her head. "I have just been so worried about Jasper and scared that he would leave, and I-I just"— she tried to say before I cut her off with a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I understand completely, my love, and you have nothing to apologize for," I told her at once. She gave me a grateful smile as she softly caressed my cheek. Her eyes bore into mine as though searching for something. I stared right back before attempting to apologize for my behavior. "Esme, I would like to apolo"—

"Stop," she ordered softly as she placed a light kiss on my lips. I went silent and gave her a curious look as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She looked as though she was preparing to say something serious, and I found myself beginning to feel nervous.

"I have never been happy with the use of corporal punishment on our children Carlisle, you know that," she finally spoke, and I warily nodded my head. "I understand why we use it, and I admit that it has proved useful in reigning in our rambunctious lot, but I just _cannot stand_ the thought of our children in pain," she informed me in a distraught tone. I hated hearing the pain in her tone, and I wanted to say something to comfort her, but she shook her head at me.

"I love you Carlisle, you know that, but right now I am not happy with you at all," she nearly growled out. "I have many times expressed to you my displeasure in you deciding to spank our children without informing me, and you promised me after the first time you spanked Emmett that we would discuss punishments before handing them out. However, today it was made clear to me that you have simply been humoring me all these years and that my opinion matters little when you have already made up your mind."

"Esme," I tried to protest.

"No," she said, "I am not done speaking. I am giving in this time. I do not want to, but Jasper has made it quite clear to me that he needs this to be able to let go of his guilt. I am curious though," she remarked as she looked me in the eyes, "were you still planning on spanking Jasper even after I had expressed how much I did not want you to?"

I groaned internally as I struggled to look her in the eyes. "Yes," I answered, wishing my answer were different when hurt and anger crossed her features.

"I thought so," she stated with a frown as she took a few steps away from me.

Hurt tore through me at her words and at her gesture.

"Esme, please let me speak," I begged, but she once more shook her head at me. Her lips were pursed in anger, but her eyes showed the hurt she was clearly feeling, and that hurt caused me more pain than the transformation into a vampire ever did.

"I do not want to hear your apologies or false promises Carlisle," she hissed, a stray tear rolling down her face. She angrily wiped away at it before remarking, "I know you must think I am being ridiculous or overly emotional, but I want you to know that this is not just about your decision to spank Jasper without my approval. I am upset with you because I feel you do not truly take my feelings or opinions into account when they differ from yours. I love our children just as much as you do," she declared, more tears beginning to fall, "and I also want what is best for them, but I get the feeling that you don't believe that."

I stared at her in complete agony, tears threatening to fall down my face. How long had she felt this way? How long had I been hurting her like this? I felt worse than I had ever felt in my long existence. I felt worse than when I had to spank my children; because even then I knew what I was doing was for their benefit. Now though, I realized that I had hurt my wife, my best friend, the women who would forever hold my heart, and I just wanted to die. I had to fix this. I had to make things right, and I had to do it right now!

"Esme," I finally said in a thick tone, "I have _never_ doubted your love or devotion to our children, _never_." I took a few tentative steps closer to her, feeling heartened when she did not back away. She only watched me with that same hurt and angry look on her face. "I am _so sorry_, sorrier than you could ever imagine that I have hurt you so terribly. I never meant to give you the impression that I did not take your feelings or opinions seriously. I have been unfair to you, and I beg for your forgiveness," I spoke, my tone full of despair and pleading. I took another small step towards her as I then said, "I know you now doubt my promises, but I give you my _word_, on my honor that I will endeavor to be a better husband, to be the husband you deserve." I stared at my beautiful wife with wide eyes full of love, sorrow, and promise.

Esme remained silent as she pierced me with her knowing eyes and I had to fight the urge to fidget as I began to feel exposed and vulnerable. I hoped to God that she would find it in her heart to forgive me and to give me a second chance. I _hated_ the thought of her being in any way upset with me, and the thought of her anger continuing on for much longer was causing me no small measure of anxiety. I knew she would never stay permanently angry with me, but I did not want this argument to cause a rift between us. I did not want this moment to turn into a bitter memory neither of us ever cared to acknowledge or think about.

The moments continued on and my anxiety increased with every second. Her eyes remained locked on mine, but her expression was blank and hard to read, and her eyes betrayed nothing. In the back of my mind I dimly wondered how she had gotten so good at hiding her emotions from me. Another few agonizing moments passed in silence before I was eventually rewarded with my wife holding her arms open as an invitation to me. I quickly rushed the remaining distance between us, sweeping her into my arms.

"I am so sorry, so, so sorry," I murmured apologetically into her hair over and over.

"I know my love, and it is alright, I forgive you," she whispered back to me lovingly, and I tightened my hold, relief coursing through my every nerve. We held each other close for several minutes, and when we finally broke apart, she placed her hands on either side of my face, gazing up at me with her gorgeous eyes.

"I agreed that you should spank Jasper as his punishment, but will you do me a favor?" she asked in a tone that put me on edge. I immediately wanted to just shout 'yes', but I was wary of what her request would be.

"What favor?" I pressed hesitantly as I took both her hands in mine. She deftly removed one of her hands from my grasp, looped one of her fingers through one of my belt loops and pulled me close. I sucked in a quick breath as I continued to gaze into her eyes, transfixed by them as she wrapped a hand around the back of my neck. Her other hand slowly unbuckled my belt before sliding it off in one swift move.

"Thank you," she whispered, her breath tickling my ear before she placed a light kiss on my cheek and stepped away from me.

"Thank—Wait, what?" I remarked dumbly as I stared at my wife who was sporting a cheshire grin. My whole body was suddenly tingling in desire and I found myself breathing hard as I gave Esme a confused expression.

She gazed back at me in amusement, looking as she was stifling a giggle before she held up my belt in her hand. "You can spank Jasper, but you will _not_ be using this on him," she stated before rolling it around her fist.

I stared at her in surprise until comprehension dawned on me. "You little minx," I gasped before rushing over to pull her in for a passionate kiss. I wrapped my arms around her but before I could land a kiss she placed a finger on my lips as she placed her other hand on my chest. I responded with a growl of frustration, causing her to playfully narrow her eyes at me. "I do not think so Carlisle," she stated firmly as she pushed me away.

"Esme," I moaned as I took another step back towards her. She stopped me once more with her hand on my chest, giving me a harder push. "Absolutely not Carlisle Cullen. You have a son that needs you, so you will be receiving _nothing_ from me until I am certain _he_ is alright and no longer feeling guilty," she declared with a serious look.

I let out a sigh as I put my right hand on top of hers. "If you want me to help Jasper with his guilt, then I am going to need this," I informed her softly as I tried to take my belt from her hand on my chest. She immediately danced away from me be before crossing her arms and giving me a stern glare, playfulness completely gone.

"You can spank him, but you will _not_ be using this or _any_ belt on him," she told me in a stubbornly, with a look in her eye just daring me to fight her on this.

"Esme, dear, I am not trying to overrule you or disregard your opinion," I explained in a careful tone, "But knowing Jasper, he will not forgive himself unless he feels sufficiently punished. My belt will"—

"I said _no_ Carlisle," she interrupted with a challenging look. I closed my eyes briefly before giving a nod of defeat. Compromise, I thought with an internal sigh. She had given in to me spanking the boy, so I could give in to her request.

Esme pursed her lips as she slowly stalked over towards me. She studied my face for a few seconds before gracing me with a beautiful smile and a kiss on the lips. "Thank you for giving in, my love, I really appreciate this," she said appreciatively.

"As if I had a choice," I responded with an amused smile, causing her to smirk at me.

"I really appreciate you giving in," she purred as she patted my cheek affectionately, "Because if you hadn't I was going to threaten to take _your_ belt to _your_ stubborn behind however many times you planned on using it on my poor, sweet Jasper."

My eyes widened at her threat, shock and amusement coursing through me. "Really?" I finally questioned with a raised eyebrow, and she laughed as she nodded her head.

"Wow," I murmured with a laugh of my own before pulling my sexy wife closer to me. "Do you have any idea how incredibly sexy I find you right now?" I whispered into her ear, feeling as she shivered at my touch. I began to place light kisses along the side of her neck until she once more decided to push me away.

"Enough you flirt," she laughed before placing a light kiss on my cheek when I groaned. "We should go home and make sure the children have not _accidentally_ destroyed anything, and _you_ and Jasper need to have a little _discussion_."

I groaned once more as I nodded my head. My dear wife was kind enough to grace me with a sympathetic look before she grabbed my hand and led me home.

**Jasper's POV:**

I arrived home with mixed feelings. I thought I had helped Carlisle and Esme, but it looked like they were rarin' for another fight as I left. When I entered the living room I immediately sensed a calmer atmosphere.

"It worked?" I asked in hope, looking at my beloved Alice.

"You did very well Jazzy," she chimed as she danced over to me. Wrapping her arms around my neck she pulled me in for a loving kiss I was all too happy to return.

I was about to ask whether my punishment had been decided on when Alice broke away and gave me a nod. "Yes, Daddy is going to spank you, but because of Mom he won't be using his belt," she told me, and I frowned.

"Seems like you're a lucky boy Jazz," Emmett crowed as he slapped me on the back. "Pop's belt stings like the dickens!"

"Then that's what I deserve. I told Mama to give in," I grumbled moodily. If the belt was Carlisle's worse punishment, then that was what I deserved.

"Aww, come on Jasper, don't be so damn melodramatic!" Emmett responded. "Pop's hand will be punishment enough for you, trust me bro."

"Yeah Jasper, I know you're feeling guilty, but Dad will take care of that. I know you don't think much of his choice of punishment, but that's only because you're still looking at him as just your coven leader," Edward told me. "Carlisle is first and foremost your father, and he is going to punish you like a father would punish his child."

I took in Edward's words, feeling a bit of warmth spread through me at the thought of Carlisle seeing and treating me as his son. Alright, I guess I could understand his choice in punishment when I decided to view Carlisle as my father rather than coven leader, but I still felt that any lickin' the gentle vampire handed out wouldn't be harsh enough to purge me of my guilt.

I felt and heard Edward's irritation as he heaved a sigh. "Damn Jasper, you're one stubborn mule," he stated with a shake of his head.

"He still thinking Pop's whippins are nuthin' to be afraid of?" Emmett asked in amusement, and Edward nodded his head. Emmett chuckled before gazing at me with a smirk. "I so cannot wait to tell you I told you so," he declared, and I glared at both him and Edward.

What the hell did they know of punishment? Of course a lickin' would seem harsh to them as it was the worst punishment they'd probably ever received. They knew nothing of painful punishments until they'd had one of their limbs ripped off, I thought in a huff.

I felt as Edward suddenly began to feel guilty. "Jasper," he sighed, "you still don't get it."

I ignored him though as I walked over towards the window to stare out into the forest. Alice stood by my side and took my hand in hers. "Edward is right, you know," she said quietly, and I stared at her with furrowed brow. "Have you seen something?" I asked.

"No, but I don't need to," she replied softly. "You need to accept Dad's punishment, and you need to trust that he knows what he's doing. Don't fight him and don't try to push him," she advised, and I frowned at the pleading in her tone.

"Of course I won't fight 'im Ali," I responded, feeling a bit hurt that she would think so little of me. "I know I done wrong, and I will take my punishment like a man. I ain't no coward," I asserted, and she gave a soft sigh as she caressed my cheek.

"I know you aren't Jazzy," she immediately replied. "I'm just trying to"—but she never finished what she was going to say because at that point Carlisle and Esme exited the woods. I immediately tensed, a hint of nervousness fluttering through me.

"Mom! Pops!" Emmett shouted joyfully as they walked into the house. "Bout time you got here! I thought for sure you were havin' some hot make up sex—Ouch!" he yelped as Rosalie slapped him upside the head, giving him a disgusted look.

"Really Emmett?" she questioned him in an outraged tone as he rubbed his head. "What Rose? I was only joking. They didn't really do the nasty, did you?" Emmett asked as he looked at our parents. Esme responded with an amused raised eyebrow, and I coulda swore I heard Carlisle quietly grumble, "It wasn't for lack of trying."

I heard a noise of disgust from Edward, and knew I had probably heard right. Sorry Carlisle, I thought in humor.

"Ugh, never mind," Emmett quickly muttered as he too heard Edward's noise of disgust.

"I'm so glad you too are no longer fighting," Alice announced as she wrapped her arms around first Esme and then Carlisle. They returned her hugs as the others voiced their agreement with Alice.

"You had us worried," Rosalie stated with a frown, and Esme immediately pulled her in for a hug. "We're sorry darlings, but you needn't have been so worried," she tried to explain.

"Not according to what Alice saw," Edward countered.

Carlisle and Esme exchanged glances at this before Carlisle gazed down at my loving wife with a stern look. I narrowed my eyes when I felt Alice suddenly feel guilty as she looked up at Carlisle and said, "I'm sorry Daddy. I was just worried."

"Be that as it may Alice," Carlisle began to scold, "you should not"—

"She did nuthin' wrong!" I suddenly shouted. "She was right to inform us cuz you two were fit to be tied. I could feel how pissed ya were with each other and if I hadn't interfered"—

"Enough Jasper," Carlisle cut me off as he gazed at me with narrowed eyes. I could feel his irritation along with Esme and Alice's surprise and disappointment. He held my gaze for a few moments before turning his eyes back towards Alice.

"As I was saying," he began to lecture once more, "you should not have"—but I cut him off once more with a loud growl.

"Jasper Lee Cullen!" Esme shrieked unhappily, and I blinked in surprise at the surname. Did she really call me Cullen? My surprise quickly faded though as I felt her increased disappointment and irritation with me. My gaze quickly flicked over towards Carlisle though as my need to protect my mate overcame everything.

"Did you just growl at me?" he asked in a smooth, angry tone.

"You have no right to scold her," I hissed angrily as I ignored his question.

"Jasper, stop this," Alice suddenly pleaded as she walked over to me, but I ignored her.

"She was just worried about the both of ya. She did _nuthin'_ wrong, so you had best watch what you say to her," I warned as I wrapped a protective arm around my Alice.

"Jasper, please," she said earnestly, "you don't need to protect me from Dad."

"Damn, this boy done lost his mind," I dimly heard Emmett whisper.

"Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and Alice, leave now," Carlisle ordered, and all but Alice quickly obeyed. His eyes remained locked on mine the entire time, and I fought against the guilt I was starting to feel as I felt his mounting disappointment, a disappointment that was being compounded by that of my wife and Esme's.

"Alice, your father told you to leave," Esme chided gently, and I immediately tightened my hold on Alice as I gave Esme a small glare.

"She don't have ta do anything she don't want to," I stated, quickly shifting my gaze to Carlisle when I heard him give a low growl.

"Hold your tongue," he warned in an angry tone, "you are only making things worse for yourself there, soldier." I was about to emit a growl of my own in response when my wife grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her.

"Jasper, stop this!" Alice hissed, staring at me with wide, pleading eyes. "You're being an idiot! I am in _no_ danger whatsoever, so _stop _being an overprotective jerk! Now let me go!" she demanded and I immediately released my hold, watching in stunned silence as she took a few steps away from me.

"Dad and Mom are _our parents_ Jasper, and they will _never_ hurt me or you," she told me, her tone full of confidence. "Everything they do for us they do out of love, even when they scold or punish us, so I don't need you to protect me from them," she declared firmly, the look in her eyes just begging with me to understand. I took in her words and felt her emotions. She truly believed everything she told me, and I knew if I truly thought about it, that I did too. I knew Carlisle and Esme would never hurt Alice. I could feel the love they felt for her. And, well, I suppose I knew they would never hurt me either. As surreal as it had been, I had felt their love for me earlier.

I swallowed thickly before I gave my sweet pixie a small nod and looked down at my shoes for the umpteenth time today in guilt and shame. Damn it all to hell, you've gone and done it again Jazzy boy, I chided myself angrily. When're you gonna learn ta think before ya act, ya blind fool?

I glanced up at Alice when I heard her give a sad sigh, and I was gratified to notice she was no longer angry or disappointed with me. She quickly made her way back to me and wrapped her small arms around me.

"I love you Jasper, and everything is going to be okay. Just try and keep a hold of that temper of yours and trust that that Dad and Mom know what they're talking about, okay?" she whispered to me. "Alright," I murmured in agreement before saying, "I love ya too Alice."

She then gave me a peck on the lips before breaking away and turning towards our parents. I stubbornly refused to look over at them, afraid of what I would see.

"Thank you for your assistance Alice," I heard Carlisle praise, and I gave a small smile at the genuine affection I felt Carlisle had for her. "We have not finished our discussion little miss, but for now I would like for you to leave us alone with Jasper. In fact, why don't you take your siblings into town and go see a movie," he suggested.

"Yes Dad," Alice replied obediently before giving my hand one last squeeze and taking off. I watched her go with a longing gaze, wishing I were going with her. Withholding a sigh, I kept my eyes trained on the forest, becoming extremely uncomfortable in the tense silence. Part of me wished they would start speakin while another wished they would never speak.

I resisted the urge to fidget as the silence continue on for several unbearable seconds; and it was at this moment that I suddenly began to feel like a naughty boy waiting to be reprimanded by his parents rather than a hardened soldier awaiting punishment from his superiors. I couldn't tell whether or not that made the situation better or worse, but it was a weird feeling for me.

"Jasper," Esme finally spoke, "would you please turn around and look at us." I let out a small sigh before turning towards them, but I still refused to lift my head.

"That was not a request, young man," Esme said sternly, and I immediately looked up at her, embarrassed by not being able to follow a simple order. "I'm sorry," I began to say but she cut me off by holding up her hand.

"Yes Jasper, I know you are sorry, you have said so several times already," she told me with some exasperation. "I do not want to hear anymore of your apologies because I am quite irritated with the disrespect you have been showing your father and I as of late," she scolded sharply and I winced. Being respectful was something that I prided myself on, so to be scolded for not showing the proper respect was a blow to my ego.

"I'm sorry ma'am, I don't mean ta be disrespectful," I responded contritely, finding it incredibly difficult to maintain eye contact with her.

"We realize that you have been under a lot of emotional duress lately," Carlisle stated, "and for that we would both like to apologize." I immediately looked at him with shocked eyes before hastily replying, "But it's not yer fault! You didn't do nuthin' wrong! I'm the one who was too blind ta see what was right in front 'o me," I told them earnestly, still not believing how they could ever blame themselves for my shortcomings.

"You may have been too blind Jasper, but that still does not clear us of blame. We loved you from the moment you joined this family _two years_ ago Jasper, and the fact that you did not realize that is _our_ fault, _not yours_," Esme countered emphatically, but I just shook my head, not liking the feelings of guilt coming off of her and Carlisle.

"I knew ya both cared about me, but-but it was mah own stubbornness tellin' me that I didn't belong," I argued back. "I'm not like the others, I _know_ that. I-I'm broken goods," I told them with a harsh laugh. "I'm a monster, trained ta kill and I'm good at it. I thirst for human blood like no other, and after two years I still can't control myself like y'all can; and I know the others didn't have this much trouble cuz they've told me! I'm a danger to yer family," I spoke dejectedly, willing them to truly believe what I was saying.

Both parents looked ready to speak at this point but I rapidly shook my head at them. "Let me have mah say, please," I pleaded, and they both reluctantly nodded their heads. I could tell they didn't want to, so I really appreciated them giving in to my wishes.

"I know y'all love me. I can feel it as clear as day and I just don't get it," I said with a bewildered shake of my head. "I love ya too," I then confessed with some embarrassment. "I love being a part of this family, and I don't—I never wanted ta leave. I just know it's in the best interest of yer family if I do. I coulda seriously hurt ya Esme, and if I had that woulda torn me apart," I spoke seriously as I looked at her with despairing eyes. "I never knew I needed or wanted a mother 'till I met you, and now I can't bear the thought of not having you in my life; but I also know that I'd rather _die_ than ever hurt you, or anyone else in this family."

Esme had tears running down her face as she gazed at me, and I could feel how pained my words made her which only fueled my self-hatred. No matter what I did or said I only caused her pain.

"Please Esme, don't cry," I begged as her pain became too much for me to handle. "Mama, I'm sorry, please, please don't cry because o' me. I'm not worth it," I pleaded, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Oh Jasper," she gasped half endearingly and half exasperated before pulling me into her arms. I immediately returned the embrace, using my gift to soothe away the pain I had caused while I mumbled apologies over and over.

"Enough sweetheart," she interrupted as she wiped away her tears, "You have nothing to apologize for."

"I made you cry," I countered softly with a frown, and she gave a small chuckle as she softly reached out to run a hand through my hair.

"My southern gentleman," she called me in a loving tone, and I leaned into her touch, loving the soothing feeling her fingers running though my hair caused.

"I was crying because it upsets me how badly you think of yourself; and I was crying over hearing that you love us and that you do not want to leave. You have no idea how happy that has made me," she spoke kindly.

"Oh I think I do," I responded, giving her a small smile as I felt her happiness. I glanced over at Carlisle at this point to see what he was making of all this, and was gratified to see him staring at the two of us with a loving smile. Locking eyes with me, he sent out a wave of love, and I swallowed thickly before sending back a wave of my own, smiling when I saw his grin widen.

I remained in my mother's embrace for a few more moments before she broke away. "You are not broken or a monster to me, my dear son," she stated lovingly, and I frowned before trying to look away, but she had a firm grip on my chin.

"We mean it," Carlisle added, and I turned to see him giving me a serious look. "Your past has helped shape you into the fine young man you are today Jasper, but it does _not _define you. You have had a difficult past, much harder than Alice or any of your siblings and so you feel this makes you somehow less worthy to be our son than them," he stated with a bemused shake of his head, "However, you are completely wrong. I've said it before and I will say it again: You are just as much a part of this family as Alice, Edward, Emmett, or Rosalie," he declared slowly and emphatically as he stared into my eyes with a caring look.

"It does not matter to us who you were or what you did in the past," he then said. "All that matters is who you are now; and who you are is an intelligent, caring, strong individual who works harder than you need to in an effort to make up for some perceived failure you see in yourself."

"There is absolutely _nothing_ wrong with you Jasper," Esme spoke, turning my face back towards her. "There is _nothing_ you need to make up for and _nothing_ you need to prove to anyone, especially not your father and I. We love you just the way you are," she said as she gave me cheek a soft caress.

I felt tears prickle at the corners of my eyes as I forcefully fought back the lump that had mysteriously appeared in my throat. A part of me felt embarrassed by how emotional I was, but a larger part of me relished in the feelings of acceptance. Carlisle and Esme loved me. The loved _me_. It didn't matter to them that I had been a ruthless soldier in Maria's army. It didn't matter to them that I had killed countless vampires and humans.

Or did it? Were they telling me the truth? Did they really mean it? Their emotions showed sincerity, but I still wasn't sure.

You're still a burden, a voice that sounded like Maria began to whisper to me and I wilted slightly as I pulled away from Esme. You are a weakling and all the Cullens know it. They pity you. Oh sure, they love you, they care about you just like a master cares for a starving stray they pick up off the street. You'll always be the weakest link Jasper. You'll never be an equal. You'll never be trusted. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth at the horrible words I was hearing. The others go to school, 'Maria' continued, while you're kept at home on a leash. How does it feel to know that your new masters will never respect you—

"Jasper!" a voice suddenly snapped and I immediately looked over into the concerned eyes of Carlisle.

"Son, you are letting off feelings of worthlessness and anger," he spoke, worry clear in his tone. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," I answered quickly, averting my eyes to look over at Esme who was also looking at me in concern.

"That is a lie and we all know it," Carlisle rebuked gently, and I flicked my eyes back towards him, surprised to find that he was not angry with me. "Please son," he pleaded softly, "Your mother and I only want to help you and we cannot do that if you refuse to speak to us."

I bit my lip as I deliberated over what to do. I could hear and feel that Carlisle truly wanted to help and that caused warm feelings to spread through me. They care about ya Jasper, I told myself. They love you and you can feel that clear as day. Trust them. _Trust them._

I took in a shaky breath to reign in my emotions as I did not want Carlisle and Esme to feel my distress.

"I, uh…Are ya sure I'm not a burden? Do ya think I'm weak? Will ya ever trust me enough ta go ta school like mah siblings? Will ya ever respect me?" I questioned rapidly before I could lose my nerve.

"Woah there Jazz, one question at a time," Carlisle responded, giving me a small smile which eased some of the worry I was feelin'.

"You are _not_ a burden son, you are _not_ weak, and of course you will go to school one day," he answered concisely and with a serious look to convey he meant every word. I gave him a slight smile, although I'm not sure if I really believed him.

"The others don't struggle with their thirst like I do," I protested softly, and they exchanged slightly exasperated looks before looking at me.

"The others do not struggle with their thirst because they have been practicing their control from the moments they were first turned, and except for Edward, the others have only tasted human blood when they have slipped," Esme explained to me, and I gave her a look of surprise at what she had said about Edward.

"What d'ya mean 'except for Edward'? I asked curiously, and I knew right away from the regret she feels that she let that little tidbit slip out.

"It's not my story to tell Jasper," she replied. "You can ask Edward to share it with you, but if he refuses to explain then do not push him," she advised, and I gave a confused nod of my head.

"What I was trying to tell you, my son," Esme continued, "is that you spent many years feeding on humans whenever you wanted. I do not say this to make you guilty," she quickly added at noticing my shamed face, "but so that you understand why it is so much more difficult for you. You are still new to this feeding style, so it is only natural that you struggle with it more."

"You are stronger than you give yourself credit," Carlisle spoke. "You are not weak for struggling with this, and one day you will have enough control to join Alice and your siblings at school, I promise you."

I nodded my head, touched by his and Esme's belief in me. They truly believed every word they said, and that did a lot to soothe my worries.

"As for respecting you," Carlisle then stated, "we have _always _respected you Jasper, and we have _always_ trusted you. Never doubt that."

I let out a sigh feeling a bit of weight lift off my shoulders. Ya hear that Jasper, I scold myself. You were bein' ridiculous! Quit makin' a fool of yerself!

I glanced up at my parents when I felt a sudden wave of sadness from them. Esme and Carlisle looked at each other, and I could tell they were havin' a silent conversation, probably 'bout me. Esme let out a small sigh before gripping her husband's hand. Turning towards me she then walked over and wrapped her arms around me. I returned the hug, using my gift to soothe away her sadness, and she gave a light laugh.

"I love you my sweet boy," she murmured into my ear, and I gave a thick swallow before murmuring back, "I love ya too mah beautiful Mama." She gave another short laugh before breaking away and patting my cheek softly. "I am going to leave now to allow you and your father to talk, so please be good for him."

I stiffened as I realize now what was going on. Esme was leavin' so Carlisle could punish me. I gave a curt nod to Esme who graced me with a sympathetic look before she departed.

**A/N:** So, what'd you think of Esme tearing into Carlisle? And what about Jazzy boy being an overprotective fool? As I told you Jasper can be mighty stubborn. He starts to see the light but then he takes a few steps back into the dark again. Darn boy needs to buy himself a flashlight, haha!

PLEASE REVIEW!

Merry Christmas Eve to y'all! or Happy Holidays! Having a major feast at my house tonight and I can't wait! Good food and a jolly old time, hahaha! Since tomorrow is Christmas I may gift you all with TWO chapters, but only if Santa tells me you've all been good, so you best be on your best behavior! ;P


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Twilight, enough said.

**WARNING: **This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_ of a teenage vampire. If you _**DO NOT LIKE**_ this material, then _**DO NOT READ**__!_

_Thoughts spoken to or heard by Edward will be italicized_

**A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS! **Hi all, haven't read any reviews from yesterday, but I'm sure they're great nonetheless, so THANK YOU! As promised I am gifting you with two chapters, so I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 6: Stubborn as a Mule**

**Jasper's POV:**

I give a nervous swallow before straightening my back and turning towards Carlisle. I will not cower or show any fear. I will face my punishment like a man.

Carlisle looks me over with a slight frown before gesturing for me to head towards the stairs. "Let us continue this discussion in my office," he says somewhat wearily, and I reply, "Yes, sir," before leading the way. Once inside Carlisle closes the door before motioning for me to sit down in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

I fight back a grimace. "I'd much prefer to stand, sir, if it's all the same to ya," I inform him respectfully. He raises an eyebrow in response before saying, "It is not all the same to me, so you _will_ take a seat Jasper." I frown slightly before obeying. Why does he want me to sit? I'd much prefer if we'd just get this punishment over with.

Once seated, I am surprised when he takes the seat next to me. I had anticipated that he would stand or sit across from me to emphasize his authority, but I guess I was wrong. Givin' him a wary glance, I keep a tight rein on my emotions to insure he doesn't feel how nervous he's makin' me. He's just staring at me and it's taking all my self control to keep from shifting around like some child.

"Take a deep breath and relax, son," Carlisle suddenly says, and I give him a surprised look. Apparently he interpreted my surprise for he then adds, "It's not your ability that gives you away, but your face and posture Jasper. You look tense and stiff, and there is no need for you to be. I will not harm you."

"I know that," I promptly reply. "I ain't afraid of you Carlisle," I tell him, partly in an attempt to sooth his concern and partly in an attempt to not come off like some quivering boy.

"I'm glad to hear that, soldier, so will you please relax for me then," he responds with a kind smile, and I stare at him for a few seconds before taking a deep and calming breath. Leaning back in my chair I then do the best I can to loosen up my tense muscles.

When Carlisle is satisfied, he gives me an appreciative nod before taking a deep and calming breath of his own. As he does I can sense as he does the best he can to rid himself of the lingering doubt, fear, and anger he was feeling. In its place he leaves the feelings of disappointment, sadness, and determination. Looking into his eyes I can see they have taken on a sterner edge, and I unconsciously find myself tensing slightly as I wait to see what happens next.

"Alright Jasper," he finally begins, "I know your transition into this family has been far from easy, but I want you to know that I am extremely proud of the effort you have put into fitting in and in conforming to our feeding style. Up until a few months ago things were going very well for you. I thought you finally felt as though you were a part of this family," he explains with a small smile. "You joked and played around with Edward and Emmett like true brothers. You and Rosalie seemed to have hit it off as there were many times you two would be found just chatting together for hours on end. You even seemed to be warming up to both Esme and I. You no longer were afraid to speak your mind with us, and you even seemed to enjoy helping Esme with her little projects while the others were at school."

He paused for a moment, and I gave him a nod of my head to tell him he was right.

"Then you slipped up, and we had to move," he continued, and I could not help but wince slightly at the statement before looking down at my knees in guilt. I felt Carlisle's sadness increase as he then said, "You began to pull away; first from me and Esme, then your bothers and Rosalie, and finally even Alice." He pauses for another moment before gently taking a hold of my chin and forcing me to look up at him. I can't help but flinch at the contact, and shame wells up in me. I know he felt the flinch, and I know he can feel and see my shame as clear as day but he thankfully says nothing.

"What was going through your mind these past two months?" he asks softly as he lets go of my chin, and I give a small sigh before running a hand through my hair.

"I've already told you," I mutter stubbornly, but nonetheless he replies, "Tell me again."

Letting out another sigh, I bite my lip briefly before beginning to speak. "I-I was ashamed of myself for having slipped up and for having forced us all to move. I saw myself as a burden to the family, as someone who didn't belong," I admitted, lowering my eyes in shame. Carlisle quickly tapped my chin, and I immediately lifted my eyes back up. "I managed to convince myself that you guys-that you guys didn't really want me—that you were only puttin' up with me cuz of Alice. And then I convinced myself that I-I wasn't good enough for Alice, that she deserved somebody better. I was certain that if I left she would eventually find her true mate," I confess, once more looking away in shame, my feelings of worthlessness coming back full force.

"I don't understand how any of ya can love me. I'm not worth it. I'm a monster Carlisle"—

"Stop it," Carlisle suddenly orders with such authority that I snap my mouth shut as I turn wary eyes back towards him. He is giving me a stern look, and I find myself slightly worried as he is feeling angry. He gazes at me with searching eyes for a couple of seconds before asking, "Why are you so convinced that you are a monster Jasper? Tell me please, because I honestly do not see it."

"I've killed people, lot's of 'em," I tell him, and he gives a dismissive wave of his hand before answering, "So has every member of this family, and I certainly do not consider any of them to be monsters. Besides, you did not know any better, so how can you hold this against yourself? Ever since you found out you could survive on the blood of animals, you have tried your hardest to stick to it. Accidents happen, my son. It is unfortunate, but you cannot dwell on it. All you can do is move forward and try to be more careful."

I absorbed his words, a large part of me desperately wanting to believe him while another part of me argued that he was wrong. "Jasper," he adds somewhat exasperatedly, "I have never and will never lie to you, so _please_ believe what I am telling you."

"I haven't only killed humans, I've killed loads of vampires too," I add shamefully, and he just shakes his head. "Maria brought you into a life of war, so what more could you have done? Listen closely when I say you did not know any better. You killed and fought because that was what you were taught and told to do, not to mention it was the only way to survive. Maria used you Jasper, you have told me that yourself," he says gently.

I frown at his words, mind racing as I try to come up with ways to show him how wrong he is about me.

"I-I don't know how ta be a part of a family. I flinch when you try and touch me, and I'm not sure if I'll ever fully trust you Carlisle. I know you say you wanna be my father, but I don't think I can ever see you like that," I inform him, feeling guilty when I feel the hurt my words have caused him. He quickly squashes those feelings though as he counters my argument by saying, "You're wrong Jasper. You already _are_ a part of this family Jasper. You have been since the day we met you, you've just been too stubborn and afraid to see it."

"I'm not afraid," I immediately protest, and he gives me a knowing look before continuing. "You are afraid of opening yourself up to us because you are afraid of being hurt. With the upbringing you had that does not surprise me at all, and you have no reason to be ashamed of that. This is also the reason you find physical contact uncomfortable, although if you have noticed you have endured several hugs today without a single flinch."

I blink in surprise at that before realizing he's right.

"In regards to trust, I believe you trust me more than you believe or else you would still not be here. As to viewing me as your father, well, just know that I view you as my son no matter how you look at me. I do not deny that I am your coven leader, but as I've told my other children, I am first and foremost your father. Whether you will ever come to view me or accept me as such will be up to you, but I will tell you that no matter how you look at me I will not treat you any differently than I have been," he tells me, and I dimly wonder if he's telling me I can still expect to receive a child's punishment no matter whether or not I think of him as my father.

"On another note, my stubborn son, I fail to see how your difficulty in getting close to others makes you a monster," he says in a dry tone. "Rosalie had similar issues to you in which she too felt she was unloved and unwanted. It was over a year before she finally began to accept she was a member of this family and grow close to us. Does this make her a monster?"

"O'course not!" I hastily respond, outraged at the mere thought, while at the same time confused by his arguments. It was looking more and more like he was right and I was wrong, but I was refusing to give up without a fight. He would see when I showed him all my scars, I thought stubbornly.

I abruptly stand up and Carlisle raises an eyebrow at me. I am extremely embarrassed about my scars, and afraid of what he will think, but I have to show him how bad I was, so without another thought I quickly unbutton my shirt and slip it off.

"Look at me," I demand, and his eyes widen slightly as he looks me up and down before I feel his pain. "Look at all these scars," I say in a shaky voice as I spread my arms and turn in a small circle. "They cover my _entire_ body. They're from countless battles and from punishment. They show you the kind of life I've lead, the horrible things I've done. I can't even stand ta look at myself, and I certainly can't understand how Alice can," I admit in disgust before I finally go silent.

Carlisle stands up and I immediately tense, wondering if he's going to attack me or simply walk away in disgust. Neither option is a happy one, so I feel as my anxiety kicks up. He apparently feels my anxiousness for he puts both hands up in a placating gesture as he softly tells me, "I'm not going to hurt you Jasper." I know it hurts him to have to tell me this again, so I quickly rein in my anxiety as I give him a nod and say, "I know."

"You think these scars make you a monster," he finally remarks, and I answer with a simple, "Yes sir."

He shakes his head before gazing at me with sad eyes. "Well, I don't. I see these scars Jasper and I cannot help but feel extreme sadness that you had to withstand so much pain. I cannot help but feel fury towards whoever did this to you, and I cannot help but feel proud of you because despite the obviously horrid life you have led, you are still a strong and caring individual."

I stare up at him with wide eyes, completely caught off guard by his admission. "Y-you're _proud_ of me?" I whisper in stunned disbelief.

"Yes," he answers with a loving smile, and I know he's not lying because I can feel the pride in his emotions. This man is unreal. I show him my scars, which have been a source of constant shame for me, and he tells me they make him proud. Not only that, but he feels angry towards whoever hurt me, I think in wonder, and I can't help but be touched by that. I've never had anybody be protective of me.

"You're not a monster Jasper, I _promise_ you," Carlisle declares firmly, and I find myself giving a small smile as I finally, _finally_ begin to believe him. Nodding my head, I give a short laugh before I do something that catches the both of us by complete surprise—I instigate a hug with Carlisle. It's a brief hug, but I can't help but smile at the genuine elation Carlisle feels by my little gesture. Even though I can feel his happiness, however, I still can't help the sudden embarrassment I feel, both at the hug and at him having had to touch me. He musta been disgusted by that, I tell myself in shame.

"What is it?" Carlisle asks in concern, interrupting me from my depressing thoughts.

"I, uh, I'm sorry," I apologize, and he gives me a completely confused expression. "For what?" he questions.

"Well, uh, for huggin' you. No, I know you liked it," I add when he opens his mouth, "but ya musta been disgusted by having to touch me because of the scars."

He stares at me blankly for several moments before giving an exasperated shake of his head. Placing both his hands on my shoulders he leans down slightly so that we're face to face as he says kindly, "Your scars do not disgust me Jasper, and you have no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed by them. They do not make you ugly or untouchable. They are a part of you, but they do not define who you are. I do not judge you because of them, and no one else in this family would either," he adds with a knowing smile. I give him a doubtful look, and am surprised when he lets out a laugh.

"Good Lord Jasper, you can be as stubborn as a mule!" he exclaims in mild amusement, and I'm not sure whether to smile or glare at him, so I settle on a frown.

"Alright soldier, let me show you my scars then, and you can tell me whether I too should be embarrassed and ashamed," he announces more seriously, and I stare at him in surprise as he quickly unbuttons and removes his shirt. My eyebrows rise when I notice a couple of bite marks, especially a particularly bad one on his right forearm. Huh, I never would've thought he'd have ever been in a real fight himself. Well, no matter how he got them, there's certainly not enough for him to be comparing himself to me. My body is littered with bite marks while he only has a few.

I'm about to tell him so when I'm hit with a sudden wave of nervousness from Carlisle. What in the world is he nervous about? Giving him a questioning look he gives me a sheepish smile before turning around.

"Carlisle, what's,"—but I immediately stop speaking when I notice the thin lines spread all across his back. I know right away that these were not caused by vampires. In fact, I'm certain these weren't even caused during his vampire life. I'm pondering why they look familiar when it hits me where I've seen these kind of scars before. I'd seen them during my time as a human on a couple of the slaves that my neighbor had owned. These slaves had been periodically whipped, and their backs had looked very similar to Carlisle's.

I grit my teeth as I suddenly feel sick and angry at the thought of someone having done this to Carlisle. What the hell could _he_ of all people have done to deserve it? Without thinking I reach out to touch one of the scars, jumping when Carlisle gives a gasp of surprise and tenses.

"I'm sorry," I immediately say, angry with myself for having no self control, but Carlisle immediately turns around and waves away my apology. "It's alright Jasper," he reassures, "you just caught me by surprise."

"I, uh, how, why…," I stammer before awkwardly falling silent. I don't know what to say or think, so I just give him a confused stare. He breaks out into an understanding smile before delicately explaining, "As I am sure you realized, I received these while still human. My father was an intolerant man and I a disappointing son, so he often times felt it necessary to…_ correct_ my apparent failures."

"_Correct?_" I bark out with a harsh laugh. "That's certainly puttin' it lightly Carlisle. Yer pa whipped the skin off o' ya!" I exclaim, taken aback by the fact that Carlisle's own _father_ had done this to him. I can't understand it. I just can't fathom why anyone would ever want to harm their own son, let alone one as kind and compassionate as Carlisle. A fury like no other builds in me, and I grit my teeth, fighting down the snarl that is threatening to erupt. How dare that piece of filth human even _think _of laying even a finger on _my father_ I think furiously before blinking in shock as the words I just thought register with me. Did I just refer to Carlisle as my father?

"Calm yourself Jasper," Carlisle orders softly interrupting me from my musings. "Take a few breaths and please relax. You are letting off a lot of anger right now," he explains, and as I follow his instruction I can't help but notice the confused expression he is sporting.

"Why're you confused?" I ask him, and he frowns before asking back, "What did I do or say that caused you to become so angry?"

I stare at him, a bit dumbfounded that he doesn't realize the reason behind my anger. "I ain't angry with you Carlisle," I reply with a shake of my head. "I was angry with your father for havin' hurt you so badly. _Nuthin'_ you coulda done as a boy would've ever have warranted such beatins, not even if you were the most unruly child in the world; and knowin you as I do, I highly doubt you were anythin but well behaved an' obedient."

Carlisle gives a low chuckle at this point, and I glare since I don't think that's a proper response to my words. He notes my expression and quickly gives me an apologetic expression as he says, "I apologize Jasper, I was not laughing at you, but rather at you believing me to have been a well behaved and obedient child. I assure you I had my rebellious moments," he adds with wink.

I grin before giving him a disbelieving look. "Please," I scoff, "Yer about as saintly as they come Carlisle. You don't know the first thing 'bout causin mischief."

"Oh, I have a few stories that would prove you _very _wrong," he counters with a mischievous grin, and I narrow my eyes as I find myself really, _really_ wanting to hear those stories.

"Do tell," I respond eagerly, and he just smirks before giving a shake of his head.

"Another time, my dear soldier," he replies, and I can't help but groan in disappointment.

Carlisle gives me another wink before becoming more serious as he says, "And thank you for your defense. You are correct. It does not matter what I did, my father should never have punished me so harshly. His punishments were abuse, pure and simple."

I give a nod, smiling slightly as I can feel his appreciation.

"The reason I showed you my scars Jasper is because like you, I too used to feel ashamed and embarrassed by them. I saw them as a constant reminder of the abuse I suffered from my father, and the feelings he evoked in me of weakness, worthlessness, and failure. I believed that if others saw my scars that somehow they too would see these negative traits in me," he explains with some embarrassment.

"That's ridiculous!" I immediately remark as I use my gift to soothe away the hurt he feels from just thinking about his past. "First off, those scars just show that you had a piece of shit father! Secondly, far from revealin you ta be weak or worthless, the fact that you're still such a great person after what ya must've suffered shows how strong and incredible ya really are," I declare passionately, and as I'm saying this I finally understand what Carlisle has been trying to tell me. I don't have to be embarrassed and ashamed of my scars because they _don't_ show anything other than the fact that I led a rough life and, more importantly that I _survived_. They show me to be a strong person just like Carlisle, my father in all but blood. I take a breath before deciding it's high time I tell Carlisle that I do view him as a father.

Carlisle just stares at me with a light frown, but I can tell from his emotions that he has been strongly affected by my words. "And you know what," I add somewhat nervously, "I am extremely proud that you would consider me a son, and-and I would be greatly honored if you would allow me to call you Dad." I go silent, and before I can even ponder whether to regret speaking or not I find myself showered with feelings of joy, love, and acceptance.

I look at Carlisle to see him sporting a wide grin as he tells me, "Nothing would make me happier Jasper than to hear you call me Dad." I give him a wide grin of my own before letting out a laugh as the enormity of how happy I have made Carlisle, no _my dad_ hits me. He comes over and envelops me in a hug which I happily return.

"Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean the world to me," he whispers into my ear before breaking away.

"You understand what I have been trying to tell you then, regarding your scars?" he then asks more seriously, and I nod my head.

"Yes Dad," I reply, smiling at the spike of happiness in his emotions, "I understand."

"Are you sure?" he asks, a bit of concern and doubt in his tone.

"_Yes_ Dad," I repeat mildly exasperatedly, and I can feel his relief as he graces me with a proud smile.

"Good, I am glad," he remarks before turning around and picking up his shirt. "Now, why don't you put your shirt back on so we can continue on with this discussion," he states.

My stomach tightens at his words, and I feel a flutter of anxiety as I put my shirt back on before taking a seat.

Dad takes a seat before taking a deep breath, and just like at the beginning of this conversation his emotions are a mixture of disappointment, sadness, and determination. Looking at his eyes, I notice that once more they have turned stern, and I suddenly understand what Emmett was talking about when he mentioned Dad going into 'you're in huge trouble mode'.

"Okay Jasper, we have discussed what has been bothering you and why you felt the need to isolate yourself from the family. I now want you to reassure me that you understand how unfounded your thoughts were, so when I ask you a question you are to answer me truthfully," he says, and I give a nod of understanding.

"Do you still believe you are a burden to us?" he first asks, and I think the question over before shaking my head in the negative.

"Do you still see yourself as a monster?" he then questions.

"No way Dad," I answer with cocky grin and although his lip twitches slightly, he graces me with a mildly chastising look that says 'take this seriously'. I immediately give him an apologetic look, and he nods his head in understanding before continuing.

"Do you consider yourself weak for having more trouble with your thirst than the others?"

"No," I answer promptly, although I'm not sure if I'm being entirely honest. I'm pretty sure he picks up on this cuz he narrows his eyes at me as he then asks, "Do you still feel guilt over your slip up?"

I want to answer no, but his knowing eyes tell me he won't believe me, so I tell him, "Kind of. I mean I know it was an accident, but I just feel like I coulda done somethin' different to have stopped it. Not to mention," I add somewhat reluctantly, "I feel guilty for having made the entire family move because of my mistake."

Dad nods his head in understanding as he stares at me with compassionate eyes. "It was an accident Jasper, one that I will take partial blame for. I knew that humans sometimes crossed into our hunting grounds so I should have made sure you were not alone out there."

I frown at his words not liking that he is putting any of the blame on himself, but also noting the truth in them.

"I meant what I said earlier," he adds, "that accidents happen. It is an unavoidable part of what we are, but you _cannot_ allow this guilt to consume you, my stubborn soldier. Learn from this and move on." He pauses and studies my unhappy expression.

"Son," he states, "I am not disappointed or angry in you because of that slip up, I never was and I never could be. Although you and the others find it difficult to believe, I do understand the temptations of human blood."

I nod my head, feeling my heart uplift at hearing I have not disappointed him.

"I will do better Dad, I promise you. I will learn to control my thirst like the others, and I will go to school one day. I will make you proud," I declare strongly, and he gives me a warm smile as he responds, "You have already made me proud, Jasper." I look away in embarrassment, touched by the affectionate feelings I can feel coming off of him. Wow Jasper, I scold myself, how could you have been so blind before? How could you have missed these emotions? You have got ta be the worst empath of all time!

**A/N:** REVIEW!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Twilight, enough said.

**WARNING: **This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_ of a teenage vampire. If you _**DO NOT LIKE**_ this material, then _**DO NOT READ**__!_

_Thoughts spoken to or heard by Edward will be italicized_

**Chapter 7: Trying His Patience**

**Carlisle's POV:**

I frown softly as I once more watch Jasper mentally scold himself. I'd best continue this discussion before he upsets himself anymore, I decide.

"Alright soldier, now I would like to talk about your actions from today," I announce, watching as he immediately looks down at his knees in shame.

"Oh no, none of that," I chide as I tap a finger under his chin so he will look me in the eyes. He reluctantly obliges.

"Explain to me what happened today," I order, "Starting with your little argument with Alice."

Jasper lets out a groan of despair, and I can clearly feel his remorse over how horribly he had treated Alice. Taking a breath he then begins to recount what occurred starting with how he was so frustrated with everyone constantly wanting to know what was wrong with him. He tells me about how he absolutely loathed himself for how he was treating Alice, but that he just couldn't bring himself to tell her what was wrong. He says he felt he wasn't good enough for Alice and that this argument was just proof.

"A-after Alice stormed out," he continues in a strained tone, "and Em and Edward started railing on me, I just couldn't take it no more. I was angry at them, but even more so at myself for being such a horrible person. Then you came in and it just all went to hell. I-well I wasn't happy ta see ya."

"I realized that," I remark softly, "would you care to explain why?"

My son rubs a hand over his face before looking at me. "I was hurtin' Papa, and I-I just couldn' take it no more," he admits, his expression pained. "I love y'all, but I'd convinced myself that I needed to leave, and all yer guys' concern and interferin' was just makin' it all mighty difficult for me. When ya came inta the room I'd made up my mind to leave then and there, so when ya started askin' me all them questions, I-I just lost it. I tried to leave at that point but ya got in my way, and that only made me angrier. Then, well then Mama got in the mix, and I, well I…," he trails off as he gives me a desperate look.

"Please Papa, ya gotta believe me when I say I neva meant to hurt her. I am so, so sorry for what I done, and I know that it don't change nuthin', but I promise ya that I will _never_ hurt Mama. I meant it when I told her that I'd rather die than ta hurt her," he explains, his guilt coming off of him in waves.

I remain silent, just absorbing his words as I think over what he has told me. I knew my little soldier was sorry. Even in my blind rage I'd seen right away from his expression alone that he had been horrified by what he had done. I believe him when he promises to never hurt his mother again, but that promise does not change the fact that he already did hurt her. He lost his temper and dared to lay a finger on his mother out of anger. My venom boils at the mere memory, and I have to work hard to swallow the anger I suddenly feel as I notice right away Jasper flinching as he no doubt feels my anger.

I close my eyes and take several calming breaths. Calm yourself Carlisle, I scold myself, you will _not_ deal with your son in anger. After a minute, I let out a breath releasing any lingering anger I still had left. Opening my eyes, I mentally curse myself as Jasper stiffens when I look at him. Damn it Carlisle, now look at what you have done!

"I'm sorry," we both say at the same time, and I give a low chuckle as Jasper's lip lifts in slight amusement.

"I'm sorry Jasper," I repeat, but he cuts me off with a shake of his head as he says, "Please don't Carlisle, ya got every right to be pissed at me. I hurt your wife, so I'd understand completely if ya neva forgave me fer that."

"Jasper," I sigh sadly, but he shakes his head at me again, giving me a sharp look. "No Dad, please don't. I was raised betta than this. A man is to _never_ lay a finger on a woman out of anger no matter what. I have never been more ashamed of myself than I am now. I am disgusted with myself and you should be too"—he rails on, but I have heard more than enough.

"Jasper," I interject sharply causing him to fall silent and stare at me with self-loathing eyes. I want to soothe his worries, but I also know that some of what he said was true. "You are correct when you say I have a right to be angry," I begin and I grit my teeth in an effort to ignore the brief wave of pain I feel him give off. "You are correct when you say that a man should never lay a finger on a woman out of anger. However, you are wrong when you say I have the right to be pissed at you and to never forgive you." He gives me a confused stare, so I expand.

"You are my son," I state, "and no matter what you do I will _always _forgive you, I _promise_; and while your actions today have certainly angered me, I am more disappointed and saddened than anything. I am not just referring to you shoving your mother into a wall Jasper," I inform him sternly. "I am also referring to the disrespect and defiance you showed me not only in your bedroom, but downstairs when I was attempting to talk to Alice."

His shoulders slump at my words, his regret and embarrassment clear as day. My heart goes out to him, but I hold myself back from comforting him. There will be time enough later, I reassure myself. "I understand what happened in your room, but would you care to explain what was going through your mind when you felt the need to protect Alice from me?" I question him, and he looks away as he runs a hand through his hair.

"I dunno what I was thinkin'," he mumbles quietly while avoiding my gaze, and I narrow my eyes.

"Look at me when you are speaking with me Jasper Lee," I order strictly, "and do _not_ lie to me. You are in enough trouble as it is, soldier, so I implore you to speak honestly. If you attempt to lie to me again, I _will_ know, and you will _not_ enjoy the consequences. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir," he immediately responds, sitting up straight and looking me in the eyes. "I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again," he adds repentantly, and I stare him down for several seconds before giving him a nod.

"Same question, honest answer," I tell him, and he gives me a serious nod before letting out a shaky breath and speaking.

"I'm ashamed ta admit that I let my instincts take control," he explains slowly. "I could feel Alice's distress and that just caused my protective instincts to rear up. I saw you and Esme as threats to her. I swear Dad," he then adds, "I know that you'd never hurt her, but I just-I just couldn't stand seein' her so upset. She's my mate, my _life_, and every fibre of my being is focused on her safety and happiness, so I couldn't stand by and let you scold her, especially when she ain't done nuthin' wrong," he finishes with a stubborn look.

I raise an eyebrow at this look, thoroughly unimpressed by his last statement. "She needs to exercise more discretion when it comes to what visions she shares and does not share with you and your siblings," I say, even though I do not feel I need to explain myself to him.

"If she hadn't told us then yer fight with Mom woulda"— he starts to argue heatedly.

"Perhaps," I interject softly, giving him a warning look to tone it down. "All I was planning on saying to Alice is that she should show a little more respect for our privacy in the future. I understand why she did it," I quickly add when Jasper looks ready to argue with me again, "but this is not a habit I want her to acquire. I ask the same thing of Edward. With their gifts they have access to private thoughts or moments, and so they need to act responsibly when it comes to what they share."

Jasper frowns unhappily at me, but I can tell that I have gotten through to him when he lets out a huff and gives me a grudging nod.

I frown in return before saying, "Jasper, I need you to listen to me very carefully." He immediately gives me his full attention, even sitting up a little straighter in his chair. "It is not up to you to decide whether Alice's actions merit punishment or not. When she misbehaves your mother and I _will_ punish her as we deem fitting. We will always be fair, I can promise you that, so there will _never_ be any reason for you to fear for her safety. That said, however, punishments are never meant to be enjoyable, so you will need to learn to deal with her being upset," I explained in a firm tone. "I have explained to you today what I intend to speak to Alice about, but do not expect me to be so open with you in the future. Alice's punishments will be private from now own, just as yours will be, and just as all your siblings are. If she chooses to share with you, then that is her own prerogative, but you will _not_ demand explanations from her, your mother or me. Furthermore," I say sternly, "you will _not_ interfere or try and stop me ever again lest you plan on landing yourself in trouble as well. Is that understood?"

Jasper stares back at me in stony silence, and I can tell he is not pleased by what I have said.

I harden my gaze at his lack of response before slowly repeating, "Is that understood?"

My son grits his teeth before gracing me with a stiff nod. I would've preferred a verbal response, but I realize that this is the best I am going to get for now. "I will hold you to this Jasper," I warn him, "so do not test me."

"I got it," he responds somewhat testily, and I give him a mild glare, all the while getting a foreshadowing feeling that my soldier will not keep his word.

"Watch your tone," I advise, and he immediately loses the rebellious expression as he gives me an apologetic look.

"Sorry sir," he tells me softly, and I hold in my sigh as I give him an accepting nod.

"You can be quite obstinate, my son," I remark simply. "You are usually the most respectful and obedient of all my children, but when you get it in your head that you know better than everyone else, you become a completely different person, willful and defiant."

"I'm sor"—

"_Stop apologizing_," I interrupt sharply, and he gives me a wide-eyed stare. I take a calming breath before continuing. "I know you are sorry Jasper," I tell him in a more gentle tone, "but right now I do not want to hear your apologies. I want you to listen and I want you to tell me you understand what I am trying to teach you."

Jasper shifts slightly in his seat before giving me a nod and hesitantly saying, "I'll listen quietly sir."

I mull over exactly what I want to say as I take another calming breath. "As I have already told you," I begin, "your actions today have disappointed me." My heart clenches as my son's shoulders slump, but I ignore those feelings as I continue on. "I understand you were going through a very difficult time and that you felt as though you had no one you could trust or turn to. I understand that the thought of leaving Alice and us was causing you a great amount of distress. All these emotions you were feeling were bottled up and since you had no outlet for them they burst out in an uncontrolled torrent."

"It's still no excuse for the things I done," Jasper remarks firmly, and I purse my lips as I stare into his stubborn face.

"You are correct to a certain extent," I respond with a serious nod. "I will admit that your actions today are not entirely your fault." Jasper looks ready to protest at this point but I immediately silence him with a sharp look.

"I failed you Jasper," I sadly admit. "You should _never_ for even a second have felt that you were not wanted or loved. I will say your stubbornness did not help matters, but as your mother and I said earlier, the most blame lies with us. I knew you were extremely upset over your slip up, but I should have done a better job of making sure you were alright."

"I" Jasper begins to say but I hold up a silencing hand.

"For this reason I have decided to let what happened in your bedroom go with nothing more than a warning," I informed him, and he immediately frowned at me. "I knew you were upset and I should have handled the situation better. I lost my temper and there is no excuse for that. So," I say, my voice becoming stern, "I will allow your disrespect and defiance to go this time, but rest assured my son that if you ever speak to me in such a manner again I _will _take you in hand, are we clear?"

"Crystal clear sir," he replies immediately, an earnest look on his face. "And just so you know Dad, I really don't blame you or Mom for my idiotic feelins'. I was a blind fool to not notice how much y'all cared about me, so please don't feel the need to blame yerself or go easy on me. I take full responsibility for my actions, sir." he announces in a serious tone, his chin raised up a touch.

Oh Jasper, I sadly think to myself, you are definitely the only one of my children to ever try and land yourself in _more_ trouble. "I am glad to hear that," I respond, "but my decision still stands. However, if you are so intent on receiving punishment, rest assured that I will not be showing leniency with your other misdeeds."

I feel a small twinge of nervousness come of my soldier before it is overcome with determination. He gives me a curt nod in acknowledgement of my words, and clenches his jaw as though steeling himself for what punishment I have planned. I withhold a sigh as I fear he is expecting me to be much harsher on him than I intend to. Why do I get the feeling that he is going to argue with me to give him a worse punishment?

"Alright son, I believe it is time to move onto your little outburst of temper with your mother," I announce, my voice taking on a hard edge. "I know you regret it, and I know you have promised me that it will never happen again, but I still feel the need to lecture, so you will listen." Jasper's face goes blank at my words, but I know it is in an effort to protect himself from the extreme guilt and shame he is feeling.

"I am sure you are well aware that I am extremely angered and disappointed by what you did Jasper Cullen. I do not give a _damn_ what you were thinking or feeling because _nothing_ gives you a right to treat Esme the way you did. She has been nothing but kind, loving, and considerate with you since the day you showed up and today she wanted nothing more than to help you!" I snap, and he flinches at both my tone and words. "Esme, your _mother_, has been worried out of her mind for you for months now. She has loved you as her son since she first met you, so while you suffered these past months she too suffered along with you. When I came home from work today and asked her how her day was, all she could do was fret over how despondent you had become and how fearful she was that you would leave us," I inform him, and he gives a quiet groan as he put his head in his hands, but I will have none of that.

"Look at me Jasper," I demand strictly, and he immediately snaps his eyes back towards mine. I can see tears forming in his eyes at my words, but I am not finished. "When Esme was human she lost an infant son, and that is a tragedy she overcame with much difficulty; and it is all thanks to you, Alice, and your siblings. She did not give birth to you, but she loves you all as if she had, and the thought of losing any one of you for any reason is heartbreaking."

"Papa," my son moans, but I ignore him.

"Despite the pain it would cause her, your mother would never presume to force you to stay," I tell him. "When you announced you were leaving today, however, she knew you were not making a rational decision. She knew you needed help and so she sought to offer it to you, and what did you do? You _screamed_ at her that she was not your mother and that she should mind her own _damn_ business before _throwing _her into the wall," I speak bitingly. Jasper clenches his fists tightly as he takes a shaky breath while trying desperately to hold back his tears.

"So, my question my dear son is this: What the _hell_ were you thinking?!" I ask through clenched teeth as I lean forward.

"I wasn't thinking Papa!" he bursts out in despair, "I neva meant what I said to her, I swear. I'm so sorry Papa, sorrier than you could ever imagine. I'm a monster, I told you, a damn mon"—he prattles on, by I quickly stop him as I slam my hand down on my desk as I yell, "Enough!" Damn it Jasper, I think in exasperation, I thought we had gotten past this monster thing of yours.

He immediately snaps his mouth shut and gives me a wary look.

"You are _not_ a monster Jasper Lee Cullen, and I _never_ want to hear you refer to yourself in such a manner ever again," I scold. "Now stop insulting yourself and just answer the question. What were you thinking?"

"I-I dunno what I was thinkin' Papa," Jasper responds desperately. "I was just so angry and upset over mah fight with Alice, and then Edward and Emmett tellin' me that I didn't deserve her! And then you came in and starting demandin' me to talk, and I just couldn' take it no mo'. I was tryin' to leave, but you wouldn't get outta mah way and that just made me angrier, so when Mama got in my way, I-I just snapped," he explains with a pleading look that just begs me to understand.

I lean back in my chair at this moment, cross my arms, and take a calming breath as I think things through. I was still upset over what he had done, but I also had to acknowledge his emotional state at the time. He was feeling cornered and trapped as well as overwhelmed by not only his emotions but probably everyone else's that had been in the room at the time. That much strain, it's not surprising he snapped.

Letting out a breath, I finally let go of any lingering anger I feel over the situation, leaving in its place only disappointment and sadness.

"Alright Jasper," I tell him, "I understand."

He gives me a relieved look before saying very seriously, "I know it ain't no excuse for what I done Dad, so I'm prepared to take mah punishment like a man."

I survey him for a few seconds before deciding we have talked long enough. He knew even before my lectures what he had done wrong, so I felt no need to prolong this.

"Jasper," I announce, "I believe we have talked long enough. You know what you did wrong, so I feel it is time to move onto your punishment. To be clear, I am going to punish you for what you did to your mother and for the disrespect you showed us when I was attempting to scold Alice, do you understand?"

"Yes sir, I understand," he replies formally.

"Also, I need you to know that once this punishment is over with that we will not speak of it again. You will be completely forgiven, so there will be no need to wallow in anymore guilt," I add, somehow knowing that this aspect would prove harder for him than the others.

Jasper stares at me for a second before giving a somewhat hesitant nod in understanding.

"Very well," I then speak, "I think it is safe to assume you already know what your punishment will be?"

Jasper frowns lightly before nodding his head and answering, "Yes sir, you plan on givin' me a lickin'."

I nod my head in response but before I can say anything he squares his shoulders, looks me in the eye and says, "With all due respect Carlisle, I do not feel that punishment is sufficient for what I done." I bite back a groan of frustration, choosing to remain silent as he continues speaking.

"I know you may feel that a-that a child's punishment," he says with some disdain, "will make an impression on me, but I'm not like Emmett or Edward. You said so yerself that I had a different upbringing than them, and in that upbringing I handled some pretty harsh punishments. My pain tolerance is high, so I, well I think I'm gonna need more than a simple lickin' to feel like I been punished sufficiently."

"For the record, _my son_, I believe you to be incorrect," I reply, "but I am curious as to what suggestions you may have for me. Do you think I should bite you or perhaps rip off a limb or two? How about I forbid you from hunting for a month?" I ask in mild sarcasm, noting the minute winces he gives at those suggestions.

"Well Jasper, which shall it be? Oh and please feel free to add any of your own suggestions if you believe mine to be too lenient," I tell him, raising an eyebrow to encourage him to speak.

Jasper's expression turns unsure before he bites his lip and says emotionlessly, "It is not up to me to decide a proper punishment. It is the coven leaders, but"—

"Stop right there soldier," I interrupt, unhappy with his referral to me once more as coven leader. This boy really was extremely hard-headed.

"First off, you are correct. It is not up to you to decide on your proper punishment, that burden lies with me, your _father_," I explain. "Secondly, you are my _son_, not my subordinate, and you are a part of a _family_, not a coven. That said, I will punish you as a father would punish his errant child, and that does not include, and will _never _include biting, ripping off of limbs, or starving you in any manner," I declare in a firm tone as I stare into my son's eyes, willing him to understand the message I am trying to convey.

His brow furrows, and I can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he takes in my words. By the conflicting look in his eyes I can tell he is arguing with himself, so I allow him a few moments before deciding to speak.

"Son," I say, giving him a light tap on the knee, "why is this so difficult for you to understand? What do I need to do or say to help you believe what I just told you?" I give him a searching look, but he just shrugs his shoulder while softly replying, "I dunno."

I withhold a disappointed sigh, cringing when I see my boy's shoulder's slump as he no doubt felt my increased disappointment and frustration.

"Do not fret Jasper," I quickly tell him, "I _will_ find a way to prove to you that this is a family and that you are my son even if I have to tell you this every day for the rest of eternity."

Jasper looks at me with astonished eyes, his lips twitching up into the barest of smiles.

"Come," I then announce as I stand up, "we have prolonged this long enough. A spanking is the punishment I have chosen for you and that is exactly what you will receive, no matter whether you deem it appropriate or not." With that I watch Jasper frown once more as he stands up.

"You should at least use yer belt then," he declares stubbornly, and I cannot help but slap my hand to my face in utter exasperation.

"God almighty Jasper, I thought we had just discussed that _I_ am the one who decides on punishments and not you," I say with a short laugh. Jasper, unfortunately does not share my amusement, but just stares back at me in stony silence.

"Alice said that you were plannin' on usin' it on me, and that it was only cuz of Mom that you decided not to, so technically I'm just sayin' you should punish me the way you originally intended to," he argues. Alice my dear, we will be having words, I think to myself as I shake my head.

"Jasper," I tell him, "I have already decided on your punishment and that does not include using my belt, no matter what Alice saw."

"You don't havta go easy on me because of Mama, I don't deserve it, or have you forgotten what I done?" he counters somewhat heatedly. "I threw yer mate into a wall, so if yer belts the harshest punishment you got, then that's what I deserve."

I narrow my eyes at his words before saying, "You are bordering on disrespect my young son, so I would watch my words carefully if I were you. Of course I have not forgotten what you have done, but as I have already told you, I do not feel my belt is needed. I assure you my hand will be more than up to the task of delivering my intended message." He grits his teeth at my words, and I can feel his irritation with me.

"Why are you being so obstinate Jasper? Do you believe you know better than I?" I ask, and he shakes his head while answering, "No sir, but I just don't think ya know what's best fer me!"

I stare at him in surprise, taken aback by his words. "Jasper, do you trust me?" I question after several moments of silence.

"Of course sir," he promptly replies, and I give him a smile as relief courses through me.

"Well then, I am going to ask that you trust that I know what I am doing and quit arguing with me. Whether you believe it or not, I am not going easy on you. I am giving you nothing less and nothing more than what you deserve. I assure you that when I am through with you, you will feel very punished indeed," I inform him in a firm tone.

He stares at me for a few seconds before giving a defeated nod of his head.

"Good," I respond before making my way over towards my couch. Taking a seat, I then motion for my son to join me. He furrows his brow in slight confusion before coming to stand before me.

"Why are you about to receive this spanking Jasper?" I ask, and he stares straight ahead as he responds, "I am being punished for having harmed Esme and for being disrespectful to both you and her."

"Correct," I reply before taking a breath to steel myself for this wretched task. I will have to do the best I can to control my emotions because I do not want Jasper to suffer more because he is feeling my despair.

"Lower your trousers and shorts and lay yourself over my lap," I order. Jasper gives me a look of surprise before taking several steps away from me. "Over your lap?" he questions in outrage.

"Yes," I answer simply, "now come here."

"I'm not a child Carlisle," he declares rather indignantly. "Can't I just bend over yer desk or a chair?"

I raise an eyebrow at the boy before saying, "You are _my_ child, and the answer is no. Now quit stalling and get your butt over here," I order sternly. I expect him to promptly obey, but he once more shocks me by shaking his head at me. Is this boy for real? He first asks me for a harsher punishment, and now he refuses to accept his punishment? What is going through his mind?

"I'm not layin' over yer lap like some little boy," he declares stubbornly with crossed arms, looking every inch the boy he denies he is. "I'm a man!"

"Well then accept your punishment like a man and get over here," I tell him strictly, but he just glares at me.

I glare right back as I angrily say, "Jasper Cullen, I have repeatedly told you that your punishment is not up for debate, so quit acting like a stubborn little boy and get over here."

"No," he responds impertinently. "I ain't gonna let you humiliate me with a child's punishment Carlisle!"

Pride, I think with a scoff, damn, foolish pride. "You are so adamant Jasper that this _child's_ punishment is beneath you, but your actions say otherwise. You insist you are a man, yet you have acted like a boy throwing a tantrum because he did not get his way. Even now, your actions are more befitting a seven year old than an eighteen year old. Now, I have had more than enough of your defiance so you had best come here this instant," I demand, my eyes boring into his.

His face takes on an embarrassed expression before his glare turns even angrier. "I have not been acting like a child!" he shouts with a stomp of his foot, and all I raise a disbelieving eyebrow at the display. Did the boy really just stomp his foot at me?

I give a small shake of my head unable to believe I was really having this argument with Jasper of all people. Out of all my children I never would have expected this sort of behavior from him. I had meant it when I told him earlier that he was the most mature of all kids, so to see him standing before me looking so much like a child having a fit rather than the mature, quiet young man I knew him to be was disconcerting.

Alright, it is time to end this. Standing up, I cross my arms and give him a frigid glare. "_Jasper Lee Cullen, come here_," I order, my voice brimming with authority. My son's glare immediately falters at my words, his face looking suddenly conflicted. It is not in his nature to disobey a direct order, so I am unsurprised when he slowly begins to make his way back to me. His face is sullen, and I can still feel his anger and frustration, but I can also feel a stronger dose of shame and nervousness. Good, he should be nervous.

When he stands before me he keeps his head bowed in an act of submission. I say nothing for several moments as I feel his emotions fluctuate. When he finally settles on remorse I lift his chin so that I can look him in the eyes to see if he truly is remorseful, or if he is just trying to trick me. Satisfied that he is being honest I let go of his chin as I begin to scold him.

"The behavior you just displayed was unacceptable and unbecoming of you Jasper. You told me you would accept your punishment like a man, but the only behavior I have been witnessing from you today are those of a boy," I chide. I feel his embarrassment and anger increase at my words as he tries to look away, but I grab hold of his chin and force him to look back at me. "Do not become angry with me because you cannot seem to keep a hold of your temper today Jasper Lee. I expect more from you, so I hope to never see a repeat of this embarrassing display again or I will make you one very sorry little boy, is that understood?" I release his chin once more, and he nods his head while quietly whispering, "Yes sir."

I survey him for a few seconds to make sure I see no more hints of defiance before continuing. "A spanking is meant to be both painful and _embarrassing_. The more unpleasant the experience, the more likely you are to avoid the actions that landed you in that position. That said, I hope this is the last time I have to say this: _I_ am in charge here Jasper, _not_ you, so it is _I_, _not_ _you_ who decides the appropriate punishment. It is not a discussion, it is not a debate," I explain. "If I tell you, you are to receive a spanking, then that is what will happen, no ifs, ands or buts."

Jasper nods his head in understanding, and although I can tell he regrets his little display of temper, I can also tell he is still upset with me.

"Alright, we have put this off long enough," I announce as I once more take my seat. "Bare your bottom and lay over my knees or I will do it for you," I command, and my soldier gives a sigh before thankfully doing as I say. Once over my lap, I wrap an arm around his waist to pull him close before rubbing his back soothingly.

"Relax son, the more you tense the more it will hurt," I inform him kindly, but he just responds through gritted teeth, "Just get it over with."

I take in a deep, calming breath at his words doing the best I can to squash the irritation I feel with this stubborn boy. I can tell he is determined to take this as stoically as possible, which will take away from the whole punishment. He is meant to be thinking of what has landed him in this position, not stubbornly trying to maintain his pride. He is in for quite the wake-up call, I think to myself in determination as I raise my right hand into the air. Brace yourself my boy for I am not letting you off my lap until you give in.

**A/N:** Yeah, I know, I really did just end it right here, haha! Don't be too upset, but it just felt right to me!

Once again, I am wishing you all a happy holidays! Hope you're still enjoying my story. I love all your reviews, so please continue to give them!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Twilight, enough said.

**WARNING: **This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_ of a teenage vampire. If you _**DO NOT LIKE**_ this material, then _**DO NOT READ**__!_

_Thoughts spoken to or heard by Edward will be italicized_

**A/N: **Hey all, as always I have to give a big THANK YOU for all the amazing reviews! I hope everybody had a great Christmas (if you celebrate)!

Side note: somebody pointed out that they noticed that around chapter 6 or so I changed tenses from past to present. Purely accidental, but by the time I realized I was too freakin lazy to go back and change all those chapters, so I apologize if that bugs any of you. Won't happen again!

**Chapter 8: Letting Go**

**Jasper's POV:**

I suck in a quick breath at the first smack, caught off guard by the sting it has caused. Burying my head in one of the pillows I swear to myself that will be the last sound I make. Carlisle is so damn insistent on treating me like a child, but I'll show him that I'm no child! I'll show him that I'm a man and that no spankin' he gives will work on me!

_Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!_

I grit my teeth at the onslaught. This ain't so bad, I tell myself. Now if only I weren't bare bottomed and over his knee like a stinkin' boy then this would be no problem!

_Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!_

Could be worse, could be worse!

_Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!_

Alright, this is worse than I thought, but still nothing I can't handle. I've endured much worse before.

_Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!_

Damn it, that stings like the dickens I think as I grip onto the pillow tighter. On and on the swats come down onto my poor backside, but I manage to remain silent despite my increasing discomfort.

_Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!_

Shit that hurts! But I can do this, I can do this!

"Your behavior today has been absolutely deplorable my son and I am extremely disappointed with you," Carlisle suddenly says, and I suck in another breath as I feel his disappointment.

_Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!_

"Out of all my children I consider you to be the most mature and respectful, but today you have gone well out of your way to prove me wrong," he tells me while continuing to spank. "Your actions have been that of a child whether you care to acknowledge that or not."

I let out a frustrated growl, only to then unwillingly let out a quiet whimper when I feel several scorching smacks on each of my sit spots.

"You _do not_ growl at me Jasper Lee Cullen, is that understood?" my father snaps, and I immediately nod my head, shame flooding through me.

_Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!_

He increases the tempo of the smacks, and I have to stifle back a groan at the increasing pain, while also fighting the urge to fidget. I deserve this, so I had best suck it up!

"Tell me why you are in this position," he then demands, and I curse in my head. It's harder to concentrate on remaining silent if he asks me to speak. Besides, you already know this, I want to scream.

"I-I'm in this position cuz I—_hiss—_I hurt my mother and because —Ouch!—and because I was disrespectful!" I shout as quickly as I can.

_Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!_

"Yes, you shoved your _mother _into a wall when she wanted nothing more than to help you," he rebukes, his swats turning more painful.

"I'm sorry!" I tell him remorsefully, giving a small yelp at a particularly harsh swat. It's becoming harder to remain stoic as I really begin to think about what landed me in this position in the first place.

"Will you ever treat her in such a manner again?" he asks, and I quickly shake my head as I loudly say, "No sir! No sir, never again!"

"Will you learn to mind your tongue when speaking with your mother and me?" he then questions, and I nod my head while answering, "Yes sir, I will mind my tongue!"

At this point I can't help but let out a few whimpers as he once more increases the intensity of his swats. My rear end is burning, and I dimly wonder why I ever felt like askin' for a harsher punishment. This was certainly harsh enough I was beginning to believe even though I couldn't understand why. I'd certainly dealt with worse pain, so I was findin' it difficult to understand how gettin' my butt walloped was upsetting me more than having my arm ripped off ever did.

"I hope you keep your word my stubborn soldier, because I would hate to have to repeat this lesson," Dad says sternly, and I immediately respond, "I will sir, I swear!"

_Smack! _"Ah!" _Smack! Smack! Smack! _"I'm sorry Dad!"

"Not sorry enough," he responds in a calm voice that completely conflicts with his warring emotions.

The disappointment I feel from my father increases at this point along with his despair over having to punish me and I can't help the tears that begin to well up in my eyes. I bury my head in the pillow as far as it will go to keep back the cries that are threatening to slip from my mouth.

I clench my mouth tightly as I began to realize why this punishment is provin' more effective than I ever thought it would. It's the emotions! I can handle the physical pain, but I can't handle Carlisle's, my _dad's_ disappointment in me!

_Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!_ "Oww," I groan quietly into the pillow. Scratch that, I can't even seem to handle the physical pain.

At this point I feel myself being shifted forward slightly, and from my dim human memories I gasp as I realize what's about to happen.

Arrrgghhh! I scream in my head as he begins to bring down stinging swats on my sensitive sit spots. I can't help but try and wriggle out of the way, which causes Carlisle to tighten his hold on me.

Putting my fist in my mouth, I do the best I can to remain quiet.

"Stop holding in your emotions Jasper and just let go," my father orders softly, and I can feel his frustration with me.

_Smack! Smack! Smack! SMACK! SMACK! _"Ow, ow, owww!" I hiss out in pain as quietly as I can.

"I love you Jasper, and I hope you realize how much it pains me to punish you," Dad then says, and my shoulders begin to shake with suppressed sobs at this point. "Stop being stubborn! You must let go and forgive yourself because I will not stop until you do," he announces hoarsely, laying several more scorching swats to each of my sit spots.

"Ow! I'm—ah!—I'm sorry Papa!" I yell out before finally giving in and crying as my guilt and his sorrow become too much for me. He lands a few more painful swats before stopping and beginning to rub my back in comfort. After a few moments, I feel as he lifts me up and replaces my clothes before bringing me in for a hug. I roughly break away from the hug as I feel ashamed of my behavior and undeserving of his comfort. Standing alone though, and doing the best I can to bring my sobs under control I can't help but regret that action, so before I know it I throw myself back into his arms, hoping he will not push me away. He doesn't disappoint as he immediately wraps his arms around me and begins to rub soothing circles on my back while murmuring comforting words.

"I'm sorry Papa, so sorry!" I wail into his chest feeling every bit like the well chastised boy I am.

"Hush now my little soldier," he croons softly, "I forgive you." I continue to cry out all the guilt, shame, and pain I have been feeling, reveling in the comfort Carlisle provides me. I feel protected and loved, and I relish in those feelings.

"Good boy," Carlisle praises quietly, "just let it all out. I got you, you're safe." I lay in his arms for several more minutes just soaking in all his positive emotions before finally bringing myself under control. As I break away I hastily try to wipe away at my tears before I feel him stop me. He holds my head in his grasp before gently wiping my tears with his thumbs as he quietly mentions, "You have nothing to be embarrassed about Jasper."

When he lets go of my head, I look into his caring, compassionate eyes, relieved to see no judgment in them.

"Are you alright?" he then asks kindly, and I nod my head while trying to discreetly rub the sting out of my burning rear.

I give him a mild glare when I feel a spike of amusement from him. "Still think I should have used my belt?" he questions mildly, and I groan at the teasing look in his eyes.

"No sir," I respond somewhat moodily, "I think yer hand was more than enough."

"Wonderful," he responds much too cheerily as he ruffles my hair. "I would hate for you to feel as though you were not sufficiently punished, my son, so please let me know if you are in need of anymore."

"Dad," I groan as I roll my eyes. I know I deserve his teasing, but still. "I'm already gonna get enough teasing from the guys," I tell him with a pitiful look, and he gives me a smile, his shoulders shaking with suppressed laughs. I huff in annoyance before deciding to use my gift to make him feel guilty. I can tell it's workin' when his face loses all amusement; but it then backfires when he realizes what's happenin' and lands a powerful smack on my already sore tail.

"Ah!" I yelp out, furiously trying to rub the sting out of my poor behind.

"Care to try that again Jazz?" my father asks with an infuriating smirk, and I shake my head at him with a mildly irritated look. "Do not play with my emotions like that Jasper. You do so again and I will blister your backside," he warns more seriously, and this time I grace him with an abashed look as I say, "I'm sorry Dad, it won't happen again."

"Excellent," he responds with a brilliant smile as he stands up. "By the way son, you are grounded for the next two weeks. This means no leaving the house without either Esme or I, and no television. You will fix that hole in the wall downstairs and you will assist your mother in whatever chores need to be done, is that understood?"

"Yes sir, I understand," I reply dutifully, groaning internally at the thought of being chaperoned anytime I need to leave the house. That is going to suck! I don't really mind having to help Mom out with chores though. It'll be nice to spend some time with her to help make up for the abysmal way I've been treating her.

"Good," Dad remarks before placing both hands on my shoulders. "I love you Jasper very much, I hope you realize that."

"I love you too Dad," I reply softly, extremely touched by his words.

"You are a remarkable son, brother, and husband, and you should not be so hard on yourself. You have been punished and forgiven, so forgive yourself. Do not dwell on what happened today because it is done and over with, am I clear?" he pressed, giving me a penetrating look. I frown softly before nodding my head. "I got it Dad. I know I'm forgiven," I respond and he brings me in for a hug.

"Alright," he says when he lets go, "go to your room. I'm sure the others will be home soon and your mother and Alice will be anxious to see that you are alive and well." I laugh at his words before making my way out of the office. Right before walking out though, I turn around and give my father a grateful look as I tell him somewhat awkwardly, "Thanks for, well for bein' my dad and not like—not like Maria."

He graces me with a warm, paternal smile as he responds, "Thank you for accepting your mother and me into your heart. As Esme mentioned earlier, our family is not complete without you."

**Esme's POV:**

I stand near the edge of the forest, sighing in relief when I no longer hear the cries of my son. I normally am nowhere near home when Carlisle spanks one of our children, but this time I could not bring myself to go too far. It wasn't that I did not trust Carlisle; it was just that I wanted to offer both my son and husband the comfort they would need without my other children hearing. I knew this spanking would be difficult for both of them. It would be difficult for Carlisle because he would be able to feel everything Jasper was, and for Jasper because he was still liable to feel guilty even after being punished.

I walk out the forest and towards my home, smiling as I hear my fair-haired child thank Carlisle for being his father and not like Maria. My smile then widens when I hear Carlisle's response. Oh Carlisle, I think lovingly, you are such a wonderful father. I cannot help but let out a sigh at this thought as I recall my harsh words to him earlier. While a part of me felt justified, another part of me felt I had overreacted. I knew Carlisle was never too hard on our children, but I was just infuriated that he seemed to dismiss my opinions so easily.

Glancing up towards my husband's office window, I smile when I see him looking down at me. Opening the window, he gives me a handsome grin before motioning for me to join me. I immediately jump up and through his window before giving a laugh as Carlisle wraps me in his arms and swings me around.

"How are you darling?" I ask as he gives me an adoring look.

"I am perfect now that you are here, my love," he purrs, and I have to resist the urge to giggle like a school girl at his words and look.

"Really Carlisle," I say more seriously, "how was it?"

He lets out a small sigh before saying, "A tad bit more difficult than I anticipated it would be."

I give him a questioning look and he expands, informing me of everything that has happened since I left my two boys alone. When he gets to the part of showing Jasper his scars, I give his cheek a tender caress as I know how difficult that would have been for him, no matter how many times he tells me he is no longer embarrassed by them. He gives my cheek a small kiss before continuing to speak. When he gets to the part of Jasper trying to convince Carlisle to give him a harsher punishment, I can't help but give an exasperated shake of my head.

"I did not agree, of course," my husband defends, and I roll my eyes as I already knew that.

Then he begins to talk about all the trouble Jasper gave over being spanked over his knees, and I give an unhappy frown.

"So he first tries and convince you to give him a harsher punishment, but then when it comes time to be punished he argues with you over how it is done?" I question in disbelief.

"It appears that way," Carlisle responds dryly.

"Oh, I am going to have a talk with that boy," I huff. "He still does not seem to realize that it is not alright for him to become so disrespectful when things do not go the way he planned."

Carlisle smiles at me before bringing me in for another hug. Burying his head in the crook my neck, I lovingly caress the back of his head in comfort. "That bad?" I ask him sadly.

"He is so stubborn Esme," he complains softly. "He refused to make even a sound as I spanked him. It was not until I started lecturing that he even let on that he was in any discomfort. The longer and harder I spanked him the more his control slipped and the more I felt his emotional duress. He eventually gave in after I basically threatened to continue the spanking until he did," he confesses somewhat guiltily.

"Carlisle," I sigh, pushing him away slightly so that he will look at me. "I highly doubt it was your threat that caused him to give in. We both knew Jasper had a higher pain tolerance than the other children, so it is to be expected that he was able to take his punishment more quietly. He was also so insistent on taking his punishment like a man, that he was even more determined to be silent. As for why he eventually gave in, I am almost certain that it was your disappointment and pain that caused it. As much control as you have, my dear, I doubt you were successful in hiding your emotions from him."

Carlisle frowns softly at my words before gracing me with a loving smile. "What would I do without you Esme?" he sighs.

"Go crazy," I quip, and his lip twitches as he wryly responds, "No doubt."

"Alright darling," I announce after several seconds, "I am going to check on Jasper, and once the others arrive home I am taking you hunting. Then, and only then will I offer you all the comfort you need, understood?" I ask with an impish smile.

"Hmmm," he sighs as he brings me close, "all the comfort I need? I will hold you to that Mrs. Cullen."

I laugh lightly at his smoldering look before giving him a light peck on the lips.

"Actually, I am afraid my comfort will have to wait a little longer Esme. I need to speak with Alice and Edward when they get home about being a little more discrete with their gifts." he tells me more seriously, and I give a nod of understanding.

"Just a warning right?" I ask, and he says, "Yes, I do not feel any punishment is needed. I am not happy with our fight being shared with everyone, but I cannot deny that Jasper did help us. Now, go coddle your boy, I will be fine on my own."

"I love you," I tell him, and he gives me a charming grin as he replies, "I love you more."

Rolling my eyes I then make my way out the door and towards Jasper's room. Knocking on the door, I walk in when he says, "Come in Mom." Once in, I find him lying on his stomach on his bed giving me a rueful smile.

"Oh baby," I coo softly as I rush over to him, "are you alright?"

"Course I am Mama," he replies with some embarrassment, "it was just a spankin'." He begins to sit up at this point, wincing when his tender backside hits the mattress.

"Just lie down Jasper," I advise, and he deliberates for a moment before nodding and lying back down on his stomach.

"Papas got a pretty hard hand," he tells me with a sheepish smile, and I cannot help the smile I give him at hearing him refer to Carlisle as Papa.

"Yes, I have heard that," I respond softly as I run a hand through his curls. He leans into my hand, giving a content sigh, and my heart bursts at the fact that I am able to offer him comfort.

"I'm sorry for hurtin' you Mama," he says quietly, looking at me with apologetic eyes. "I know you were only tryin' ta help me, and I shouldn"—

"Hush sweetheart," I say as I place a finger on his lips. "You have already apologized, and I have already forgiven you."

"I know, but I still"—

"No," I reply in a firm tone as I shake my head. "No more apologies, young man. You have been punished and forgiven by both your father and I, so now it is your turn to forgive yourself."

He gives a small sigh, and I narrow my eyes at him before saying, "If you will not forgive yourself, my stubborn child, I will be more than happy to call your father in here to help you with that."

I bite back a smile when his eyes widen somewhat comically and he hastily responds, "Oh no ma'am, that will not be necessary. I have forgiven myself, I promise you."

I stare into his dark amber to gauge his sincerity. "I am happy to hear that," I reply with a smile when I see he is being honest with me.

"So, your father told me about the trouble you gave him over your punishment," I remark, giving him a stern look, and he gives me a guilty look.

"I'm sorry Mama, I was bein' my usual idiotic self," he apologizes, and I frown before giving him a sharp swat to his backside.

He sucks in a quick breath, giving me a startled look as he tries to rub out the sting. "You are not an idiot Jasper Cullen, and I do not want to hear you refer to yourself as such ever again, is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am," he responds with a hasty nod of his head. "What-what I meant to say was that I was bein' a might bit stubborn," he revises, and I nod my head as I wait for him to continue.

"I knew this was a family and I knew y'all viewed me as a son, but I still had trouble understandin' what that meant. I kept waitin' for Dad to act, well to act like Maria, and when he didn't I wasn't sure how ta react," he explains with lowered eyes. "When he insisted on givin' me a lickin' over his knees like a child, I became upset cuz I thought he was just tryin' to humiliate me."

I frown unhappily at his words before I ask, "Do you still feel that way?"

"No Mama, I don't," he answers as he lifts his head and gives me an abashed smile. "I realized somethin' while I was getting my tail busted."

"What was that?" I press curiously when he goes silent.

"I was so insistent that I was gunna take my punishment like a man, but the more Papa scolded me, the more I remembered the things I done to land myself in that position and the harder it was to remain stoic. It was at that point that I finally stopped lookin' at this like a punishment from my coven leader fer hurtin' his mate and instead lookin' at it like a punishment from my dad for havin' been dumb enough to hurt my mom," he recalls as he looks at me with caring eyes.

"Oh Jasper, my baby," I cry before pulling the startled boy into my arms.

He wraps his arms around me as he says, "Oh Mama, please don't cry. Dads liable to give me another lickin' if he thinks I've upset ya."

I laugh at his words before breaking away and wiping away my tears. "Don't you worry about that, sweetheart," I tell him with a smirk. "Your father would have to go through me, and that is _not _likely to happen."

Jasper grins in amusement at my declaration, and I marvel at the difference between this Jasper and the one from this morning.

"Please do not ever cut yourself off from us ever again Jasper," I demand softly. "Do not keep things to yourself. You have a family now, so there is no excuse."

"I understand Mom," he replies.

"I mean it," I say seriously. "There is no need for you to suffer alone, so I warn you now that if I ever find out you are, _I_ will spank you myself for being so foolishly stubborn. Do you understand me Jasper Cullen?"

My son stares at me with wide eyes, and I do not need his gift to feel his astonishment at my threat. "Yes ma'am, I understand perfectly. I promise I'll never act so foolish again."

I nod my head in acknowledgement as I give his cheek a gentle caress. "You know I love you right?" I question, and he immediately nods his head.

"Of course I know, and I love ya too," he replies, and I give him a wide smile as I can feel his love.

"Okay Jazz," I remark as I give him one last hug before standing up. "I can hear the others arriving. Your father is going to talk to Alice and then she will come and see you, alright," I inform him more than ask as I carefully monitor his reaction.

I am disappointed when he immediately jumps off the bed and onto his feet with a growl. "No," he hisses out in sudden anger before making his way towards the door. I quickly bar his way, cross my arms and give him a stern glare.

"Where do you think you are going?" I ask, and he heatedly responds, "There ain't no reason for Dad ta be scoldin' my Alice."

"Yes there is, now go sit your behind down on that bed," I tell him sternly.

"No, now get outta mah way," he demands in anger, and I place my hands on my hips as I give him an incredulous look.

"_Excuse me_?" I hiss out in outrage, appalled that he would dare speak to me like that.

My disrespectful boy says nothing, so I once more order him back to his bed

He narrows his eyes before smoothing his expression and asking in a tight voice, "May I go and speak with Dad please?"

I see through his forced calm and know that it is only a dismal attempt for him to convince me to allow him to leave this room.

"Absolutely not, and do not think you can fool me Jasper," I respond somewhat angrily. "I am remaining right here until their discussion is over with."

My son stares at me for a few seconds, and I wonder if I've gotten through to him when he throws himself back onto his bed. I watch as he buries his head into his pillow and suddenly I find myself feeling guilty. Maybe I should let him go speak with Carlisle. Alice meant no harm, so there should be no need—

I roughly shake my head, glaring daggers at my son as I realize what he is doing to me.

"Jasper Lee Cullen, you stop manipulating my emotions this _instant_!" I demand sharply, letting out a small sigh of relief when the crushing guilt I had been feeling leaves me. Jasper gets to his feet once more with an angry huff and I give him a disappointed look.

"How dare you try and use your gift to manipulate me into doing as you wanted. I am very disappointed with you," I scold him furiously, becoming even angrier when he just glares at the floor. What is going through this boys mind?! How dare he be so disrespectful with me? I purse my lips before coming to a decision. Alright Jasper, it is time you learn that Mama is not to be trifled with.

"Jasper, what did your father just spank you for?" I abruptly ask him, and he blinks in surprise at the question before answering somewhat hesitantly, "For having shoved ya, and for bein' disrespectful with the both of ya."

"Now, would you deem your actions of these past few minutes as respectful or disrespectful?" I press, and he looks to the floor before letting out a wave of remorse. "That was not a rhetorical question young man so answer it!" I order.

"Disrespectful ma'am," he answers right away in a quiet voice.

"I agree," I respond as I walk to stand before him. "It would seem Carlisle's punishment was not sufficient enough to teach you a lesson in respect, so now it is my turn," I announce before promptly grabbing my son by the arm, turning him around, and forcing him to lean over his bed. Releasing his arm, I then place my left hand on his back to hold him down before bringing my right down on his stubborn backside.

He lets out a gasp of surprise, but thankfully does not try and fight me as I bring my hand down a dozen more times. He lets out a few whimpers as he tightly grips his bed comforter, and my heart twists at the sight.

"I cannot _believe_ that we are having this discussion over your lack of respect once again, especially considering the fact that you were spanked not half an hour ago for this!" I rebuke as I land a few more swats, this time on his sit spots.

"Ow, ouch Mama, I'm sorry!" Jasper shouts repentantly, his body beginning to wriggle slightly in order to avoid my hand.

"Well sorry does not always cut it young man, so you had best take this lesson to heart or you will find yourself sporting a very sore backside for a long time to come, am I clear?" I ask, and he immediately responds, "Yes—Ah!—yes ma'am, I under—Ouch!—I understand!"

"You had better Jasper Cullen for I will not be so lenient with you if there is a next time," I warn as I land the last two swats harder than all the rest.

"Arrgghh!" he chokes out as he rears up on his toes. My heart breaks at the sight, and it takes all my restraint not to burst into tears when I hear his muffled cries. I rub his back with one hand while smoothing his hair with the other to try and comfort him all the while hating myself for having hurt my baby like this.

God, how did Carlisle do this? How could he withstand seeing our children crying and knowing that he was the cause?

"I'm-I'm so sorry Mama," my little boy cries out and my heart immediately lifts as I know he still considers me his mama

"Oh Jasper, it is alright," I respond as I bring him in for a hug. He buries his head into the crook of my neck and I lovingly caress the back of his head as his cries begin to lessen. When he is back under control I help him up to his feet and he grimaces as he rubs at his backside.

"Ya sure know how ta make a guy sorry, Mama," he remarks with a slight grin, which I hesitantly return.

"I hated doing that Jasper," I inform him, and he frowns as he guiltily replies, "I know, and I'm"—

"Shh," I interrupt, placing a finger on his lips. "I know you are sweetheart, but if you really mean that,promise me you will _never_ put me in this position again."

"I promise Mama," he says seriously before wrapping his arms around me. "I love you," he whispers, and my heart soars as I tell him I love him too.

**Carlisle's POV:**

I stand up and head towards the hallway when I hear my children arrive home. I am about to call for Edward and Alice when I suddenly see them coming up the stairs and towards me. "Hi Daddy," Alice calls happily, and I smile back at her.

"Hi Dad," Edward says, "Alice saw you wanted to speak to us, so we just came up." I nod my head in understanding before motioning for them to go inside my office.

"How's Jasper?" Alice abruptly asks, and I give her a reassuring smile as I respond, "He is alright. You can see for yourself once we are through here."

"Now, you both know why you're here so I'll just get right to it," I announce, turning to Alice who is giving me a sheepish smile.

"You need to learn to be more discrete when it comes to what visions you do and do not share, Alice," I begin to lecture. "You have a wonderful gift, but that gift comes with responsibility. There will be many times you will see things that are meant to be kept private, and you will do well to respect that privacy. The argument that occurred between Esme and I is one of those moments that should not have been shared," I tell her in a stern voice, and she gives me a sad look as she says, "I'm sorry Dad, I just wanted to help."

"I know that angel," I reply kindly, "and I thank you for your concern, but I still feel you should have kept it to yourself."

"But you guys would've hurt each other," she protested, and I gave her a mild glare before responding, "That does not matter Alice. What happens between your mother and I is private and that is the way I expect it to remain, am I clear little lady?"

She frowns unhappily before nodding her head. "Yes Dad, very clear."

"Alice," I sigh softly as I place my hands on her shoulder, "this was not the first argument I have had with Esme and I doubt it will be the last. We love each other dearly, but it is inevitable in any relationship that there will be some moments where you just do not agree with each other. We will _always_ forgive each other though, so your interference while appreciated was unnecessary."

"I understand Daddy," she eventually sighs. "I promise to be more discrete with what visions I share in the future."

"Good girl," I respond, placing a kiss on the top of her head. Bringing her in for a hug I am surprised when I feel her tense. Breaking away I look down at her in confusion, only to see she is in the midst of a vision. I hear a gasp come from Edward before Alice gives a groan and whispers, "Jasper, what did you do?"

I am about to ask what she saw when I am startled to hear smacking sounds coming from down the hallway. What in the world? It almost sounds like—but no, it couldn't be. I am about to go and investigate when Alice grabs onto my arm. "No Dad, you shouldn't," she tells me, and I give her a look of confusion.

"Mom's spanking Jasper," Edward states with a good amount of disbelief, and I immediately turn to stare at him with shocked eyes.

"_She's w__hat_?!" I shout, concern and anger beginning to course through me.

"I don't know exactly what happened, Dad," my son explains rapidly at my questioning look, "I wasn't paying attention."

"Vision Mom mentioned that Jasper was disrespectful with her," Alice informs me, and I frown in anger and disappointment. What did I just spank that boy for? How _dare_ he be disrespectful with his mother when her only reason for being there was to comfort him?!

Alice winces when she hears her mate cry out in pain, and I wince at the pain _my_ mate must be experiencing. She has never spanked any of our children before. Yes, she's swatted them a few times here and there, but never actually spanked them. I cannot help but worry over what Jasper could have done to have pushed her to do this, especially with how she ripped into me earlier today for even thinking of spanking her beloved Jasper. I will not hold this against her, of course. I know my wife, and I know that if she was spanking Jasper, then he had surely earned it.

When the smacks finally stop I let out a breath I hadn't known I had been holding, noting as Alice and Edward do the same. I grimace as I hear my soldier's quiet cries before tuning him out and turning back towards the two children in the room with me.

Alice is sporting a pained look while Edward's is slightly stunned.

Snapping my fingers, I abruptly get the two to look back at me. "Let them have privacy," I tell the both of them, and while Edward immediately agrees, my angel is a little slower to respond.

"He will be alright Alice," I say, and she bites her lip before turning her full attention back to me.

Looking towards Edward once more, I begin to lecture him over not abusing his ability. "We have had this discussion before Edward," I rebuke him, "just because you have Alice's permission to reveal her thoughts, it is no excuse. I know this may seem like a lot of responsibility to you son, but as you respect the privacy of all our thoughts, you should also respect our privacy in regards to our futures."

"You are both intelligent, so I am certain you two will be able to distinguish between what visions can or should be shared, but if you ever have a question, then you come to me or your mother, is that understood?"

"Yes Dad," they both respond, and I grace them with smiles.

"Excellent, then no more need be said on the subject. You may go, and Alice, please do not go into your room until Esme leaves," I advise, and she replies, "No need Dad, Mom is on her way here now." And with that she disappears from the room.

Edward, on the other hand bites his lip before turning to me. "Moms beating herself up pretty badly," he informs me, and my heart clenches at the thought. Oh, my poor wife. I ought to take Jasper over my knee once more just for putting his mother in this position.

"Jasper did the best he could to help ease her guilt," Edward adds, and I raise an eyebrow at him as I know this is his attempt to help his brother. Giving me a sheepish grin he shrugs his shoulders unabashedly before taking his leave.

He is not gone but three seconds before my wife enters the room.

**A/N:** So, a bit intense huh? Never planned on having the Esme bit, but in attempt to lengthen the chapter it was just born and took on a life of its own. So now instead of this being the last chapter you get one more! Hurray! As always, please REVIEW! They really do make my day!

On another note, just letting y'all know that I'm re-writing Drunken Consequences. I do realize re-writes don't always go over so well, but when it comes out please give it a chance. Aside for the first two chapters everything else has been deleted and I've started from scratch. I wanted to explore the developing father/daughter relationship between Carlisle and Bella more. I'm currently on chapter 10 of what will probably be a 13-15 chapter story, so you won't have to wait months and months for it to come out...hopefully. Same premise as original, but this one is turning out _much_ longer. The original was only around 31,000 words and the rewrite is around 47,000 words now and I've still got several more chapters to go.

After this story comes out I will start working on Fathers and Daughters: Alice. This one will take a bit as I'm having trouble coming up with my story line.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Twilight, enough said.

**WARNING: **This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_ of a teenage vampire. If you _**DO NOT LIKE**_ this material, then _**DO NOT READ**__!_

_Thoughts spoken to or heard by Edward will be italicized_

**A/N:** Hi everybody! Because I will be out of town tomorrow I am posting the last chapter of this story today, so consider yourselves lucky I didn't make you wait till I came back Friday evening, haha!

I've had a lot of fun reading your reviews. They totally make my days brighter, so thanks a bunch! You all rock my world!

**Chapter 9: Much Needed Comfort**

**Carlisle's POV:**

One look at my wife's face and I know what Edward told me was a vast understatement. Esme was not beating herself up—she was tearing herself to pieces.

"Carlisle, I…," she trails off, near tears, but I just shake my head at her as I take one of her hands in mine. She is headed for a breakdown, and since I know she will not want the children hearing I think it best to get the both of us out of the house and well out of their hearing ranges.

"Come darling," I speak softly as I guide her towards my window. She nods her head in understanding before we both leap out and begin to run towards our favorite spot in the forest. Once there I gently pull her onto the forest floor with me where she promptly bursts into tears and throws her arms around my neck. I wrap my arms around her and whisper soothing words into her ear as she lets out mournful sobs. My heart breaks at the sound and I have to fight the sudden urge to go whip some sense into Jasper for having dared to upset his mother so badly not once, but _twice_ in one day.

I continue to hold Esme in my arms offering her all the comfort she desires. When her cries have stopped completely she just tightens her hold on me and takes deep breaths before finally breaking away. Hastily wiping at her face she looks at me with red-rimmed eyes as she says, "Oh Carlisle, I am so sorry."

"For what, darling?" I ask in confusion as I tenderly wipe away the few remaining tears she has missed.

"For breaking down like this," she begins to explain before I place a soft kiss on her lips to silence her.

"Don't be ridiculous," I say after breaking away, "you do not have to apologize for that. I know how upsetting spanking Jasper must have been for you so I am here to offer you all the comfort you need."

Esme gives me a loving look as she chuckles softly. "I thought _I_ was the one meant to be offering _you_ all the comfort you needed," she remarks, and I give her a grin.

"Your mere presence comforts me, my love," I declare, tenderly nuzzling my face against hers. Esme leans her forehead against mine as she grips the back of my neck.

"I don't know how you do it Carlisle," she sighs despondently. "I know the spanking I gave Jasper was minor compared to ones you have administered, but my heart literally broke as I heard his painful cries. I felt like the worst mother ever for having done this to him."

"You are _not_ the worst mother ever," I counter immediately. "You are a wonderful mother, the best there is and you have no reason to beat yourself up for what happened. If you felt spanking Jasper was necessary, then it was, simple as that."

Esme stared into my eyes and I could clearly see the pain and guilt she was feeling.

"Do you feel like this every time?" she asks softly, and I frown lightly before nodding my head.

"Oh Carlisle," she sighs sadly as she runs a comforting hand through my hair, "How can you stand it?"

"It is never easy," I respond honestly, "but I manage because I know that what I am doing is in the children's best interest. I realize that if a sore bottom will get them to think their actions through, then it is worth it."

My love nods her head in understanding before saying, "I knew spanking the children pained you, and I knew it was never easy, but I never expected it to be this horrible. What if I was too hard on him Carlisle?" she frets. "You had already spanked him, so I must have hurt him twice as badly since he was already sore."

"Stop it Esme," I order in a gentle yet firm tone, "Do not do this to yourself. I trust your judgment when it comes to the children, so you should as well. I _know_ you my darling wife, and I _know_ you would never have punished Jasper like that if he had not thoroughly earned it."

Esme nods her head but I can still see doubt in her eyes.

"If I may," I decide to ask, "What did our little soldier do to incur your wrath?"

Esme frowns at my question before responding somewhat angrily, "He was extremely disrespectful with me. When he found out that you would be scolding Alice he tried to leave his room to stop you, but I quickly barred his way. He once more asserted that you had no right to be scolding _his_ Alice, and when I ordered him back to his bed he _demanded_ that I get out of his way," she recounts heatedly and a growl rumbles in my chest at the thought. "If that were not bad enough he then had the audacity to try and _manipulate_ me by _forcing_ me to feel guilty! When I called him on it he stopped, but he offered no apology. I was fed up at that point, so after asking him to tell me why you had spanked him today I told him I felt he needed a little more help in learning his lesson on being more respectful with us."

I grit my teeth at the end of her explanation, my fury towards Jasper increasing. That boy had the hardest head of anyone I have ever met. It was as though he has not learned a thing from my spanking! He had promised me to mind his tongue, yet not twenty minutes after I punished him, he was mouthing off to his mother. He had also promised to not interfere in Alice's punishments, but once more there he was breaking his promise. To make matters worse, the boy had also broken his promise to me of not using his ability to manipulate anyone's emotions. Yes, I had warned him not to do so with me, but it was implied that the warning applied his mother as well.

Just you wait Jasper Lee Cullen, I think angrily, when I get my hands on you sitting will be nothing more than a fond memory. Not only have you broken several promises, but you have caused your mother no small amount of anguish!

"Oh no you don't Carlisle Cullen," my wife suddenly declares as she puts a hand on either side of my face. I stare into her beautiful eyes which are suddenly glaring at me.

"Esme," I begin but she cuts me off with a rough shake of her head.

"Absolutely not!" she hisses, her eyes flashing in clear warning. "I have already punished him, so you will _not_ be spanking him for what happened."

"Esme listen," I demand insistently as I take one of her hands in mine, "Jasper broke several of his promises to me in that little incident, and with each promise he made I warned him that if he broke them, then I _would_ take him in hand."

"I understand Carlisle, but in this instance _I_ already took him in hand," she counters, and I withhold a frustrated groan. "Perhaps I was not as hard on him as you would have been, but anymore punishment will be over kill."

I stare into her unyielding eyes, realizing that I will not win this fight. "Very well Esme, but I will be adding two more weeks to his grounding as well as restricting him to only his room for the next week," I declare, and my wife acquiesces without argument. "That is acceptable," she responds, and I ponder my next words carefully before deciding it will be better in the long run if she knows.

"Esme," I state seriously, "I am letting you know now that if you are ever forced into spanking _any_ of our children in the future, that I _will_ administer my own spanking to them when I find out; and I _will _find out," I add, having a feeling that my wife would not be above lying to me to try and protect her precious cubs.

My wife's face looks suddenly outraged, and she opens her mouth to argue with me, but I place a finger on her lip as I give her an unyielding look of my own.

"I am sorry, but I will not change my mind. You should _never_ have been put in this position with Jasper and I intend to insure that you never will be. The children will learn that that it will be in their best interests to be on their best behavior with you," I say before stifling a groan as Esme gives me a fierce glare.

"I think you are being ridiculous Carlisle!" she tells me. "It is as though you do not believe I have what it takes to properly punish the children"—

"That is not it at all, my love," I quickly interject as I pull her closer to me. I take it as a good sign when she does not fight me. "I see how much you are suffering over having spanked Jasper, and I do not ever want to see you like this again Esme," I explain as I give her a pained look so she realizes how much her sorrow affects me. "I know you are more than capable of delivering an effective spanking, and I am positive Jasper will think twice now before ever being disrespectful with you again," I add with a slight smile as I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Esme looks me in the eyes for several moments before giving a small sigh. Gracing me with a smile, she then says, "He better think twice."

I give a low chuckle, inwardly sighing in relief that she has given in.

"Are you still feeling upset, my dearest?" I then ask quietly before capturing her lips with mine. "A little," she responds, so I quickly maneuver us so that we are lying down with me on top of her. Placing my hand under her shirt I lightly run my fingers up her side before bringing her in for another kiss, deeper than before.

"How about now?" I ask when I break away and she responds somewhat breathlessly, "A little less than before."

"Hmmmm," I remark before leaning down and lightly nipping at her neck. She moans when I begin to gently suck at her neck line, her hand gripping a fistful of my hair.

"How about now?" I ask huskily, and she gives a growl before forcefully rolling us over so that she is on top. Straddling my hips she gives me a seductive look. "Better, but I would feel absolutely perfect," she remarks as she leans to whisper into my ear, "if you were wearing a little less clothes, my love."

I grace Esme with a rakish grin before responding in a smooth tone, "Your wish is my command."

**Jasper's POV:**

I stare at the door my mother just walked through feelin' like an absolute cad. I have got to be the worst son in the entire world. I can't believe I was so disrespectful with her, especially with how I'd just been spanked for the same damn reason. Damn it all ta hell Jazz, I yell at myself, when God gave out brains ya must've thought he said trains and asked for a real slow one cuz ya definitely haven't been acting all that smart today!

I absentmindedly rub at my aching behind. Mama sure lemme feel her displeasure, I muse unhappily. I hope Dads able to help her cuz I hate myself for causin' her to feel so much guilt and self-hatred. I told her she had every right to bust my butt, but I don't think I did much good.

I give a slight smile when I catch my lovely wife's scent and feel her love. Glancing towards our doorway I see her standin' there with a sympathetic look, and I can't help but become embarrassed. Damn, she not only probably saw my punishment with Dad, but with Mom as well. That's definitely not the position I want my wife to see me in, I think with wounded pride.

"Oh Jazzy," she states as she rushes to wrap her arms around me, "you have got nothing to be embarrassed about, and if you're worried about me having 'seen' your punishments, well don't be. I did the best I could to stop the visions before I saw anything."

I let out a small sigh of relief as I bury my head into her soft hair. Inhaling her loving scent I unconsciously find myself relaxing.

"I love ya Alice," I murmur, and my heart bursts as I feel her happiness and love as she responds happily, "I love you too Jasper."

Lifting her up I place her on the bed before bringing her in for a passionate kiss. She wraps her arms around my neck, hungrily returning the kiss. How I had missed this woman! I had been a damned fool to ever think of leavin' her!

"Woah woah woah! Let's tone it down you two lovebirds!" I hear Emmett suddenly yell as he saunters into my bedroom, closely followed by Rosalie and Edward.

I feel a growl building in my chest and I am about to let it loose and demand they leave my room when my sweet and loving Alice suddenly pipes up, "Hey guys, make yourselves comfortable!"

I quickly give her a disbelieving look, silently pleading with her to kick them out so we could get back to what we were doing. Alice pats my cheek softly as she says, "Later Jazzy. Right now it's sibling time, and trust me, you need this."

I let out a sigh before turning around. Crossing my arms and giving my siblings an irritable look, I fight back a grimace when I see the cheshire grins my two brothers are sporting. Here it comes.

"So Jasper," Edward begins with devious smile.

"Jazzy boy," Emmett adds with a mischievous look in his eye.

"Dearest brother," Rosalie says with a smirk.

"Jazzalicious," Alice pipes in with a grin, and we all give her weird looks which she ignores as she gives me a wink.

"How was it?"

"Is Pops as much of a softy as you thought he'd be?"

"Did you ask him for a harsher punishment?"

"It was worse than you expected wasn't it?"

"How sores that tail of yours, brother?"

"Still think we're a bunch of chickens for fearing Dad's hand?"

I listen to all of their questions with growing dismay and irritation. Ah hell, I think, I'm feeling like crap right now and I really don't wanna deal with their teasin. I know I deserve it, but not right now!

"Yes, it was worse than I thought and yeah, I was dumb enough ta ask for a harsher punishment, but thankfully he didn't agree," I answer moodily. "Look, I'm sorry for having teased ya about Dad's punishment, but could ya just lay off right now? I'm really not in the mood ta deal with yer jokes, alright? I really messed up, and I just…," I trail off with an irritable huff as I run a hand through my hair.

Alice immediately takes my right hand in hers, giving me much needed comfort. I can feel sudden guilt coming off the others, and I give a sigh. "Look y'all, ya can tease me another day, but right now I just need a break, alright?" I tell them.

"Sorry Jasper," Edward apologizes, "We couldn't resist."

"Believe it or not," Rosalie says, "We actually came here to cheer you up. It's kind of a tradition we have, to be there for one another when one or more of us gets a tanning from dear old dad."

"Yup," Emmett adds with a grin, "So I would like to officially welcome you to the Cullen Spanking Support Group. Sorry Ali, you can't join yet as you haven't felt the wrath of Pops. Don't worry, I'm sure it'll happen someday," he tells her with a wink, and my wife just laughs at him. I give a fierce frown at that thought, a growl threatening to burst from me before I roughly push those thoughts away. That's the kinda thinkin' that helped land me in this mess, I remind myself.

"So y'all came to cheer me up?" I question skeptically, and they nod their heads in agreement. Although they're doin' a horrible job at that, I can't help but be touched. I guess it can be nice ta have siblings.

"So, are you alright?" Rose asks sympathetically. "Dad wasn't too hard on you, was he?"

"He didn't use the belt on you, right?" Emmett asks in concern.

"I'm fine, and no he wasn't too hard on me and nor did he use the belt. He used only his hand, which I say was more than enough," I tell them with a somewhat sheepish look.

"Don't need to tell us that," Edward responds with a short laugh. "His hand sure knows how to leave a lasting impression."

We all nod our heads in agreement before Alice gives me an inquiring look as she asks me, "Was Dad able to help you Jasper with all the things that were bothering you?"

"Yes," I respond with a definite nod. "He and Mom helped me realize how dumb I was bein', and they helped me realize that I really am a member of this family as much as any of ya guys."

"Dads good at that," Rosalie mentions with a loving smile and a reminiscent look, and I suddenly recall Dad telling me about how when my sister first joined this family she had felt unwanted and unloved as I had. Knowing that, I wish I had talked to her about what was bothering me. She might've been able to stop this whole fiasco from happenin'.

"Do you still think you're a monster?" Edward then asks in concern, and I shake my head, my mind automatically flashing to Dad showing me his scars. I feel instant pain from my brother, and I send him an apologetic look. _Sorry Edward, I didn't mean for you to see that_.

"Don't worry about it Jazz, I've already seen them," he responds with a grimace.

"Seen what?" Alice and Emmett ask, and Edward shakes his head as he replies, "Nothing you two need to worry about."

"Nuh uh, no fair!" Emmett cries out as my Alice gives me a pouting look. "No silent conversations in _this_ support group!"

"Ugh, alright Emmett, jeez!" Edward gripes exasperatedly, and I realize that Emmett has probably been torturing Edward with his thoughts. "I saw in Jasper's mind that to help him realize he was not a monster because of his scars, Dad showed Jasper _his _scars."

Rosalie gives an angry hiss at his words while Emmett becomes silent. "Oh," he murmurs quietly, and although he doesn't look it, I can feel his anger bubbling underneath the surface.

"Scars?" Alice questions in alarm at this point. "What scars does Dad have? Does he have bite marks like you Jasper?" she asks as she looks at me, and I give Edward a panicked look. _Do ya think Dad'll mind if we tell her? I don't want him ta think I've been blabbin' his personal_—

"Don't worry about it Jazz," Edward interjects with a reassuring look. "Both Rose and I found out by accident from Emmett, and when Dad found out we knew he wasn't angry, so I think it's only fair that since we all know she should too."

"Hey!" Alice shouts "What is it I should know as well?" Alice pierces me with a look and I bite my lip as I try and figure out a gentle way to break this to her. She absolutely adores Carlisle, so I know she ain't gonna take this well. Alice narrows her eyes at me, and I can feel her impatience with me, so right when I'm just gonna blurt it out, Rosalie takes charge.

"Oh for goodness sake," she remarks in exasperation. "Alice, the scars Dad has are on his back and they're remnants from his human life. They're whip marks that he received from his _cruel, abusive, psychotic, pathetic excuse for a human father_!" she spits out, and I can't help but stare at her with wide eyes.

"Jeez babe, tell us how you really feel," Emmett jokes weakly as he wraps an arm around her shoulder in comfort.

I wince when I feel Alice's shock turn into pain, and when I turn towards her, her face is a mask of sorrow. "Daddy was abused by his _father_?" she says in disbelief as she gazes into my eyes just pleading with me to tell her this is all a joke. I give a mournful nod of my head and she begins to cry.

"Why?! Why would his father hurt him like that? Dad is the kindest, most caring man ever!" she exclaims as I bring her into my arms.

"I dunno darlin'," I respond, my own anger flaring at the thought of what Carlisle must've suffered.

"The man was just plain evil," Edward remarks in a grim tone, and I can't help but nod my head in complete agreement. I hold Alice in my arms for several more moments using my gift to help soothe away the pain and sorrow she's feeling. When she regains control of herself I sigh internally as I feel the beginnings of anger stir in her. We are all feeling this anger, this thirst for revenge and justice, but it is a thirst that will never be satisfied as the wretched creature responsible for our father's suffering is long since dead.

Not liking the feelings in the room at all I decide to change the topic by asking a question that's been plaguing me since Mom took me to task. "Hey guys, why didn't ya ever tell me that Mom spanked ya too? Y'all only ever talked about Dad like that, so I was completely caught off guard when she decided to tear me a new one."

"We never told you about it Jazzman because Mom has _never_ whipped any of us before. She's doled out a few smacks here and there, but _damn_, what the _hell_ did you do to piss her off like that?" Emmett asks me in slight shock and worry.

"Wait, Moms never spanked any of ya before?" I ask in complete surprise, and they all shake their heads.

"Mom hates that punishment, and she almost always fights for us when Dad decides we're in need of a hiding," Edward explains, and I stare at them all in stunned disbelief. So I am the first one Esme's ever spanked? Did I really piss her off that much?

"Jasper, you didn't answer Emmett's question," Rosalie remarks, and I can feel her burning curiosity. "What did you do?"

I bite my lip, not sure I want to tell them, but a nudge from Alice prompts me to speak. "Well, ya see, it started when y'all came home. Mom told me that Alice would come and see me, but only after havin' a little chat with Dad," I begin, and Alice groans in dismay.

"Jasper, you didn't!" She exclaims, and I wince at her sudden anger. "I _told_ you that you didn't need to protect me from Dad! He would sooner kill himself than ever hurt me!"

My shoulders drop at her words, but I defend myself nonetheless. "Alice, he didn't have no right ta be scoldin' ya, and I was only lookin' out for ya."

"He had every right in the world to scold me as, and as I just said I _don't_ need you to protect me from Dad, Jasper!" Alice says heatedly as she gives me a disappointed glare. "What did you do?"

"I—well, I may have demanded that Mom get out of my way before using my gift in an attempt to get her to do as I wanted," I inform her guiltily, hearing sharp gasps come from her and my siblings.

"You tried to manipulate Mom?" Rosalie asks in disbelief, and I give her a grimace.

"She caught on real quick, and I stopped when she told me to; but then she scolded me for being disrespectful with her, and said that since Dad's punishment obviously wasn't enough to teach me proper respect that she was going to reinforce the lesson," I recount, wincing slightly at the memory. It wasn't a horrible spankin', but on an already sore tail, well let's just say she left an impression on me.

Emmett gives a low whistle while shaking his head. "How bad was it? Worse than Pop? Did she let you keep your pants on? Did she put you over her knee?" he questions rapidly, and I am surprised by the anxiety he is feeling.

"Why're ya so nervous Em?" I ask, and he shrugs his shoulder in a nonchalant manner before an amused Edward answers, "He's nervous because he knows out of all of us, he's probably the most likely to get it from Mom now that she's crossed that line with you."

I give a short laugh as Emmett glares at me. "Yeah, nice going there Jazzy. Way to ruin it for the rest of us good kids. Now whose going to go to bat for us when Dad decides to take a strip out of our hides? Do you know how many times Mom has saved our butts?" He asks with wide eyes, and I reply with a short, "No."

"Well neither do I!" he shouts, "But now that number will never increase! So, for all our sakes, answer my damn questions!"

I laugh at his worry, Alice, Edward, and even Rosalie joining me.

"Emmett, really, I don't think you need to worry. I doubt Mom is going to make a habit of this," Rosalie tells him in a reassuring tone while Edward adds, "Yeah, she's pretty bent up about what she did, so I don't think she'll do it again anytime soon." I shift guiltily at her words.

Emmett doesn't look reassured though as he gives us all a slight pout. "Yeah, but I just know I'm her next victim. I really hate you right now Jazz," he grumbles. "She was my saving grace and you've gone and ruined it!"

I roll my eyes before Alice gives an exasperated sigh and says, "Just answer his questions Jasper or he's going to go on like this for ages."

"Alright Em, listen up," I state, and he sits up straight, giving me his full and undivided attention, a serious look on his face. "It wasn't too bad, even considering the fact that I was already sore because of Dad. Or course it hurt, but she was definitely easier on me than Dad was and probably would've been. I got to keep my pants on and she made me bend over the bed, not her knees."

Emmett gives a serious nod before letting out a small breath of relief. "Okay, good, I think I can deal with this. I'm still not forgiving you quite yet brother, but I'll get there."

I give a small smile at his words, my amusement dampened as I remember the pain our mother was in when she left my room.

"She'll be alright," Edward states confidently as he gives me an understanding look. "Dad will be able to get through to her."

"She was real upset," I recount guiltily. "I tried to tell her she had done nothing wrong, but I don't think she believed me."

Edward nods his head in understanding. "Yeah, I heard her thoughts. She was thinking she overreacted and was too hard on you. She was also thinking that you wouldn't forgive her, despite the fact that you had already told her there was nothing to forgive," he says with a wry smile.

"That's ridiculous!" I yell, and Edward only shrugs his shoulders.

"I know that," he responds with a roll of his eyes, "but that doesn't change what she's thinking. Dad was the same way, well, actually he was worse the first time he spanked me. He thought he'd abused me and that he was exactly like his father."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "He thought he'd abused you?"

"Yup," he replies with a serious nod. "He really beat himself up until I set him straight."

"What'd you do to convince him?" I ask, and Rose and Em give slight smirks as they glance at their brother. I wonder what that's about.

"I, well I did a little reverse psychology on him," Edward explains cryptically.

"A little more detail please," Alice inputs, and I can feel her burning curiosity.

Edward sighs before saying with a sheepish look, "I accused him of being just like his father and I may have called him a coward as well,"

"How did he react?" I ask with some awe.

"Uh, he grabbed me by the cuff of my shirt and growled in my face before taking a step away from me. When I informed him of what I'd done though, he kind of lost it and punched a hole in the wall before ripping the door off the hinges as he stormed out of his study," Edward informs us with a grimace as he rubs the back of his neck.

"Daddy punched a hole in a wall?" Alice states in shock, a shock that I mirror. I find it somewhat unfathomable to imagine Carlisle ever doing something so-so violent.

"Crazy, right?" Emmett asks with a slight grin.

"Anyways," Edward continues with a roll of his eyes at his brother, "I went after him, and we talked things out. My little stunt had gotten him to convince himself that he wasn't like his psychotic father, and I convinced him that he hadn't traumatized me."

"So we have Edward to blame for the fact that we still get out butts blistered like small children," Rosalie declares with a mock glare at Edward.

I frown at her words before deciding to ask another question that had been bothering me. "So, this punishment doesn't bother you guys? I mean I know you don't like it, but it doesn't bother you that you-that we're still gettin' punished like a bunch of kids?"

"Of course it does," Rose answers, "I certainly hate it, and it's embarrassing as hell, but what other punishment can he give us? I certainly don't want him to react like other covens do. I like my limbs intact, thank you very much."

I laugh lightly at her words before Emmett begins to speak. "I hate Pop's whippins too, and God knows I fight him every time he decides to give me one, but I'll also be the first to admit that I know I deserve them. Most the times I mess up I'm in trouble because I was acting like a kid, so yeah, as embarrassing as it is I guess a whippin' is appropriate."

"Despite our mental ages," Edward adds, "we're kind of stuck at our physical ages, if you know what I mean. We're essentially all 17-19 years old for all eternity, and no matter how many years go by we're not really going to mature much. I don't know about your human lives, but I know at 17 if I screwed up my Dad wouldn't have hesitated to tan my hide."

"Yeah, at 19 my Pa would've had no problems with blistering my backside if he felt I deserved it," Emmett says in agreement. I think back to my human years and realize that had I still lived at home my father would've still givin' me a lickin' if I'd earned one.

"So yeah," Edward remarks, "I too hate that punishment with a fury, but like Em said, it's appropriate, and it works. We're a family and that's a punishment from a parent to a child."

"But we ain't children," I protest weakly.

"Weren't you listening to Edward?" Rosalie asks with a huff. "Despite how long we've been alive, we are prone to acting our physical ages, and at those ages we mess up like any child does. Look at what we get in trouble for: fighting, breaking things, disrespect, lying, and endangering ourselves. Look at what you got in trouble for and how Dad and Mom reacted," she states.

I take in their words, beginning to understand what they're tryin' to tell me.

"Pops doesn't mean to make us feel like small children, but he knows that the best way to get through to us when we screw up badly enough is to make sure we don't sit comfortably. I don't know about you, but like my Rosie was saying, I'd take a whippin' over ripped limps or bites any day," Em tells me seriously.

"I love Dad and I know that even when he punishes me he still loves me. That's part of what it means to be in a family. No matter what happens we still love each other. You've got to stop thinking in terms of covens, Jasper," Edward remarks, and I nod my head.

"I understand," I reply softly. "The punishments embarrassing, but Dad isn't doin' it to belittle or humiliate us. He's treatin' us like his kids, so he's trying to teach us to think things through." I really have to stop looking at us as a coven. We are a family and Carlisle and Esme are my father and mother and we their children. I love them and they love me no matter what I've done or will do in the future.

"Hurray!" my lovely pixie shouts as she claps her hand in happiness, "You get it Jazzy, _finally_!" She wraps her arms around me, and I smile widely at the happiness, love, and pride I feel coming off of her. As I pull her in for a kiss I make sure to put all the love I feel towards her along with an apology for worrying her so much and gratefulness for all she has done for me. Judging from how passionately she returns my kiss I know she has gotten the message. When we break apart we just stare into each other's eyes just conveying our undying love and devotion for one another. We would've stayed like for much longer if it hadn't been for my buffoon brother Emmett loudly clearing his throat.

I turn and give him a heated glare, only to sigh when he just gives me a cheeky grin and a wink.

"Thanks guys," I then decide to say. "Thanks for being so open and honest with me, and for comin' to cheer me up, I really appreciate it," I tell them sincerely, sending out small waves of gratefulness so they know I am being serious.

"No problem Jasper," Rosalie replies with a kind smile as Emmett shrugs his shoulders and Edward responds, "Don't mention it."

I grin at them just soaking in the feeling of happiness, contentment, and rightness, yes _rightness_. This is the way it should have been from the start. If I hadn't been so damn stubborn and _stupid_, we coulda had this camaraderie from the get go. Oh well, I think as Alice snuggles close to me, better late than never.

**A/N: **I'm not very happy with my ending, but I re-wrote and deleted so many different versions that I basically said "to hell with it" and settled with this one. I wanted to include more teasing, but I didn't think Jasper would be up to it, so sorry for those of you who wanted a bit more humor.

Thanks you so much for sticking with the story, especially to those of you who faithfully reviewed every chapter! You guys are the reason I keep writing, so keep it up! I hope you enjoyed this story, and I look forward to hearing from you when I post my next one!


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